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Default Bigfoot: Descendant of Ishmael or Esau? - 09-02-2014, 03:37 AM

Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Yowie. Whatever you want to call him, one thing is certain. He is as real as Balaam's talking ass.



Evilutionary scientists such as Jane Nogoodatall would have us believe Bigfoot is some as yet undiscovered species of hominid and use it to try and disprove the Bible.

Unfortunately for sickular science, God in His Infinite Wisdom foresaw their demonic ploy and made sure to mention His role in Bigfoot's creation.

The only question scientists should be asking about Bigfoot is which Biblical figure is he descended from.

Genesis 25:25 And the first came out red, all ouer like an hairy garment: and they called his name, Esau.

See also Genesis 27 which deals more with Esau's hirsute nature.

Or does Bigfoot come from the line of Ishmael?

Genesis 16:12 And he will be a wilde man; his hand will be against euery man, and euery mans hand against him: & he shal dwell in the presence of all his brethren.

Genesis 21:20 And God was with the lad, and he grew, and dwelt in the wildernesse, and became an archer.

As you can see, either one would be a likely candidate as an ancestor of Bigfoot. It is even possible that the children of Esau met and mated with the children of Ishmael, so both could be Patriarchs in the Bigfoot line.

Why do sickular scientists reject the wisdom of the Bible and continue to overlook the obvious when it is right in front of them?


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Default Re: Bigfoot: Descendant of Ishmael or Esau? - 09-02-2014, 04:32 AM

It don't think it could be Esau, because God sent dragons to kill all of his descendants and steal their land:

I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness. Malachi 1:2

Of course, sometimes when God wipes out an entire race of people, He might leave one or two survivors to serve as an example for others.

So it must have been Ishmael. Which makes Bigfoot an Arab (think about it--Arabs tend toward the hairy side, and that's not even counting their men). Which means he's probably a terrorist who came to America illegally (which explains why he's hiding). I say we round up a Sin Posse and take this Bigfoot character out before he strikes. Heck, his name probably isn't even Bigfoot. More like Bigfatah.


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Default Re: Bigfoot: Descendant of Ishmael or Esau? - 09-02-2014, 04:39 AM

Have we considered Big Foot could be a descendant of the Nephilim? As a Christian, I am obsessed with and try to insert them everywhere.


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Default Re: Bigfoot: Descendant of Ishmael or Esau? - 09-02-2014, 04:42 AM

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Have we considered Big Foot could be a descendant of the Nephilim? As a Christian, I am obsessed with and try to insert them everywhere.
Possibly a union of children of Ishmael and the Nephilim, though how they could have looked upon camel jockey daughters and found them fair is a mystery.


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Default Re: Bigfoot: Descendant of Ishmael or Esau? - 09-03-2014, 03:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Have we considered Big Foot could be a descendant of the Nephilim? As a Christian, I am obsessed with and try to insert them everywhere.
I thought the Yeti descended from Nephilim. Isn't that why they call it Nepal? Anyway, I'm not so worried about the Yeti. At least he's white.


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Default Re: Bigfoot: Descendant of Ishmael or Esau? - 09-03-2014, 05:16 AM

I'm sure you won't even be able to call him 'bigfoot', anymore. It's racist.


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Default Re: Bigfoot: Descendant of Ishmael or Esau? - 09-03-2014, 05:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I'm sure you won't even be able to call him 'bigfoot', anymore. It's racist.
You are most likely correct, Brother. The lieberals will have us calling him follically gifted hygenically challenged hyperfoot-abled man.


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