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Angry All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 09-09-2010, 12:37 PM



Approximately half of the children from the western world's (the so called Christian world) end up in hell because their parents seem to hate them.

Studies show that roughly 40 percent of all children in the U.S. are born out of wedlock, while the numbers in Europe and Australia are around 50 percent.
But what does God really thinks about all you whore babies (also known as bastards), walking around his kingdom?

Maybe your first thought is this: "it's not my fault that my parents sinned." Think again.
In God's eyes you are just as much a sinner as your disgusting god forsaken parents.

Deuteronomy 23:2 (King James Version) A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Zechariah 9:6 (King James Version) . . . a bastard shall dwell in Ashdod, and I will cut off the pride of the Philistines.

Hebrewes 12:8 (King James Version) But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Quote:
bas·tard[bas-terd]
–noun 1. a person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child.
"I will punish my parents for the wrong they have done to me" might be a logically thought now you know this. But you’re wrong once again.
God’s going to punish your parents when their time comes, until then you have to obey Gods wish, and honor them; unmoved by your knowledge that they wish to see you burn in hell.

Exodus 20:12 (King James Version)
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

If you still “feel” this is all wrong, just remember that I am only the humble messenger of God’s word and we are not to understand thought of the mighty LORD:

Isaiah 55:8-9 (King James Version)
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

PRAISE THE LORD




Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women

Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 09-09-2010, 03:47 PM

I sure am happy that my Caucasian parents were married before I was born.
(And what a super duper forum this is. I’m already making friends and learning a lot more than I ever did in my old public school)
God bless you, Salvation Believer!
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 09-09-2010, 05:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle1991 View Post
I sure am happy that my Caucasian parents were married before I was born.
(And what a super duper forum this is. I’m already making friends and learning a lot more than I ever did in my old public school)
God bless you, Salvation Believer!
Hmmm, why do you unsaved negroes use all these terrible drugs. Have you looked in a mirror lately. If your parrents are caucasian you will for sure end up in hell, but you already know that - don't you?




Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women

Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 09-09-2010, 05:31 PM

There is a reason Landover has a strict church policy that any potential new congregant MUST provide documentation back ten generations that their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on were legally and properly MARRIED. Yes, thats 1023 marriages that must be documented, but it's WORTH IT when it comes to your immortal soul, and if anyone whines about the work involved then obviously they just don't want salvation all that much.


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 09-09-2010, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
There is a reason Landover has a strict church policy that any potential new congregant MUST provide documentation back ten generations that their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on were legally and properly MARRIED. Yes, thats 1023 marriages that must be documented, but it's WORTH IT when it comes to your immortal soul, and if anyone whines about the work involved then obviously they just don't want salvation all that much.
Dear Sister Mary

As you know, I am a very sensitive man (in a very manly way) and it really makes me sad to see how many parents don't give a heck about their own children. We know for a fact that there's plenty of space in heaven and JESUS welcomes everyone who follows the scipture:

John 14:1-3 (King James Version)

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

Still we see this lack of faith in the LORD, and that's what bothers me. Why can't we make the Unsaved Trash give up the heathen thoughts and convince them that the blessings of True Christianity™ is the only way for them to find salvation? What are we doing wrong?




Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women

Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 09-09-2010, 11:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
There is a reason Landover has a strict church policy that any potential new congregant MUST provide documentation back ten generations that their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on were legally and properly MARRIED. Yes, thats 1023 marriages that must be documented, but it's WORTH IT when it comes to your immortal soul, and if anyone whines about the work involved then obviously they just don't want salvation all that much.
Yes, I must say that this was one benefit to having Mormons in the family. I just squeaked in with my 10th generation being a 1725 wedding. They may be catholics roasting in Hell, but at least they weren't bastards.

That being said, perhaps once the True Christian™ theocracy is in place should we neuter/spay bastards? It would be much kinder to future generations.


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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 09-10-2010, 05:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
That being said, perhaps once the True Christian™ theocracy is in place should we neuter/spay bastards? It would be much kinder to future generations.
I wouldn't worry about future generations. We're in End Times, so we'll be raptured any day now anyway!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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Devil Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 01:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Viggo B. Kristoffersen View Post


Approximately half of the children from the western world's (the so called Christian world) end up in hell because their parents seem to hate them.

Studies show that roughly 40 percent of all children in the U.S. are born out of wedlock, while the numbers in Europe and Australia are around 50 percent.
But what does God really thinks about all you whore babies (also known as bastards), walking around his kingdom?

Maybe your first thought is this: "it's not my fault that my parents sinned." Think again.
In God's eyes you are just as much a sinner as your disgusting god forsaken parents.

Deuteronomy 23:2 (King James Version) A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Zechariah 9:6 (King James Version) . . . a bastard shall dwell in Ashdod, and I will cut off the pride of the Philistines.

Hebrewes 12:8 (King James Version) But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.


"I will punish my parents for the wrong they have done to me" might be a logically thought now you know this. But you’re wrong once again.
God’s going to punish your parents when their time comes, until then you have to obey Gods wish, and honor them; unmoved by your knowledge that they wish to see you burn in hell.

Exodus 20:12 (King James Version)
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

If you still “feel” this is all wrong, just remember that I am only the humble messenger of God’s word and we are not to understand thought of the mighty LORD:

Isaiah 55:8-9 (King James Version)
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

PRAISE THE LORD
Actually my parents love me very much and I did believe in god, which I obviously don't, why would I still obey god if I am going to burn in hell. Cool picture at the start by the way😈
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 02:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The atheist bastard View Post
why would I still obey god if I am going to burn in hell
If your atheism drives you to jump out of a building, then the outcome would presumably (from the eyes of a True Christian) be disastrous. And yet, during every inch of your unidirectional travel toward your untimely demise, you have dutifully obeyed the laws of gravity and aerodynamics.

They say that jumpers always regret their decision halfway down. That is when they realize that all the problems in their life can actually be solved. Except for having just jumped.

You have come to our True Christian forum for help so that you do not have to jump. We are here for you so that you can join us in the lap of Jesus


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 06:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GOD=life View Post
If your atheism drives you to jump out of a building, then the outcome would presumably (from the eyes of a True Christian) be disastrous. And yet, during every inch of your unidirectional travel toward your untimely demise, you have dutifully obeyed the laws of gravity and aerodynamics.

They say that jumpers always regret their decision halfway down. That is when they realize that all the problems in their life can actually be solved. Except for having just jumped.

You have come to our True Christian forum for help so that you do not have to jump. We are here for you so that you can join us in the lap of Jesus
Actually I joined this forum to laugh at some christians, who have obviously gone off the deep end. I have no problem with christians but the people on THIS site are clearly mental
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 06:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The atheist bastard View Post
Actually I joined this forum to laugh at some christians, who have obviously gone off the deep end. I have no problem with christians but the people on THIS site are clearly mental
The same way reading and following a recipe makes a cook "mental"? The same way reading and following the instruction manual to install an oven is "mental"? The same way reading and following a medical book about teeth makes a dentist "mental"? How do you think religion works if reading and following the Holy Bible makes a Christian "mental"?



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 06:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
The same way reading and following a recipe makes a cook "mental"? The same way reading and following the instruction manual to install an oven is "mental"? The same way reading and following a medical book about teeth makes a dentist "mental"? How do you think religion works if reading and following the Holy Bible makes a Christian "mental"?

I am NOT saying christians are mental just the ones on THIS particular site. You know the ones who claim that left-handed people worship satan and claim that Obama is the anti-Christ. At first I honestly couldn't tell whether this topic was meant to be satire but after seeing a few more topics I realised that you people are serious (Seriously messed up that is). Anyway like I said only the people on this site are mental and a few others I am sure but most christians are.
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 06:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The atheist bastard View Post
Actually I joined this forum to laugh at some christians, who have obviously gone off the deep end. I have no problem with christians but the people on THIS site are clearly mental
Oh I forgot to say your scenario made me laugh because I was just imagining a guy jumping off of a building changing his mind and then going 'SPLAT' on the concrete and I just HAVE TO say when I think about that image. THAT! IS! HILARIOUS!
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Default Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 06:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The atheist bastard View Post
Actually I joined this forum to laugh at some christians
And yet, simply lurking is not enough. You felt a need to interact. Why? If it is to show off superior knowledge of the (KJV 1611) Bible, it would help to actually use quotes to support your position.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The atheist bastard View Post
I have no problem with christians
That is a logical but inherently self-centered statement. You are saying that you - as an atheist - gets to decide who is and who isn't a Christian. So, unsurprisingly, you will say that the Christians with the most watered-down views are the "real" Christians and the people whose views you don't like... well, they're wackos.

It also does not surprise me that as a member of the Atheist religion, you would try to use psychology. It is not a new invention, in the Soviet Union -- based on Atheism -- they did that all the time:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politic...e_Soviet_Union

So we are on to your Atheist tricks, sorry

But.............. if you are still not scared off after this healthy those of logic, here's some more logic. It is a reasonable and honest question to ask: OK dear Christian, how do I know if you're REALLY a Christian or just pretending to be? We respect that question.

The answer is: as it so happens, God has an entire BOOK about it. That book is the KJV 1611 Bible. As True Christians, we follow that Bible. If people do not follow the Bible, they are --- by definition --- not Christians. We cannot make it more simple or logical than that.

True Christianity is perfectly in tune with the (KJV 1611) Bible. You might not like it, but eh, then that means you don't like the Bible. If the Bible says 1 + 1 = 2, and someone comes along saying "it's more convenient if 1 + 1 = 3", then who is right? Simple: CHECK THE BIBLE.

Prayin' this helps


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Cool Re: All you bastards will burn in HELL!! - 03-27-2015, 06:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GOD=life View Post
And yet, simply lurking is not enough. You felt a need to interact. Why? If it is to show off superior knowledge of the (KJV 1611) Bible, it would help to actually use quotes to support your position.


That is a logical but inherently self-centered statement. You are saying that you - as an atheist - gets to decide who is and who isn't a Christian. So, unsurprisingly, you will say that the Christians with the most watered-down views are the "real" Christians and the people whose views you don't like... well, they're wackos.

It also does not surprise me that as a member of the Atheist religion, you would try to use psychology. It is not a new invention, in the Soviet Union -- based on Atheism -- they did that all the time:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politi...e_Soviet_Union

So we are on to your Atheist tricks, sorry
Firstly I created an account in order to both see people's reactions to my username (hope you like it it is actually a true description of me) and also to see how long I would be before I was banned.

Secondly I never said I was judging who was a true christian or not I know literally f*ck all about the bible so I would never do that but at the same time I am friends with many christians who would agree that anyone who says left handed people worship Satan and think Obama is the anti-Christ clearly has issues and should seek help immediately and that is why I thought the topic about left handedness and Obama may have been satire.

Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 03-27-2015 at 06:34 PM. Reason: cleaned up sloppy quoting by inept poster
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