Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
...Most Baptists absolutely don't believe this crap they're peddling on this board...
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That's just proof that most Baptists either haven't read the Bible, or ignore the majority of it if they have.
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Unsaved trash, blind, deaf and dumb
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 76
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: spreading my legs for a horse
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:06 PM
Actually they've read it cover to cover many times. It's called rightly dividing the word of truth. They actually study to find out what a verse means rather than searching for the most wacko thing they can make it say.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
Please show where any True Christian™ has mis quoted the Bible(KJV1611).
Oh wait, you can't.
YIC
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The Ad Hominem attacks by non-believers shows their true colors, don't you think? This turdbear person is clearly embarrassed about her own church and its failure to accurately share the Gospel Message, so she projects a false accusation onto a real Baptist Church. I think it's sad, really, and deserving of pity and prayers.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
Actually they've read it cover to cover many times. It's called rightly dividing the word of truth. They actually study to find out what a verse means rather than searching for the most wacko thing they can make it say.
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So you think that God wants us to guess what a verse says rather than, you know, read the words?
When Lev 20:13 says that the gaywise should be put to death what does that really mean?
As opposed to that God wants queers killed
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
Actually they've read it cover to cover many times. It's called rightly dividing the word of truth.
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No dear, it's called Cognitive Dissonance. These people you talk about simply don't allow those parts of the Holy Scripture that interfere with their personal moral code to compute into their minds. They gloss over or interpret otherwise uncomfortable sections against some modern 21st century ethical consideration. It's so common that people think that's the way it should be. Some 40,000 protestant denominations have been created because of this. On the contrary, we are 100% faithful to the actual Word of God, not some modern interpretation of what the Word of God must really mean taken into account with what we know about the natural world today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
They actually study to find out what a verse means rather than searching for the most wacko thing they can make it say.
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False study tools will help no one discern the Truth.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, blind, deaf and dumb
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 76
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: spreading my legs for a horse
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:16 PM
I'd love to see you guys try to tell my pastor he's not preaching the Bible accurately to his face. I would give you the web site, but I don't want you people to get on there and troll. Actually we don't like debating the Bible with people like you who will believe what you're going to believe no matter what anybody else says. Oh and by the way, I don't know who it was that had the bright idea to change my username to turdbear, but brilliantly hilarious. Lol, I'm cracking up over here.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
The Ad Hominem attacks by non-believers shows their true colors, don't you think? This turdbear person is clearly embarrassed about her own church and its failure to accurately share the Gospel Message, so she projects a false accusation onto a real Baptist Church. I think it's sad, really, and deserving of pity and prayers.
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As ever Mary, your gentle, compassionate words are like balm unto mine soul.
Even though this 'turdbear' character is obviously some atheistical troll I shall pray for him.
God bless you, Mary.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
I'd love to see you guys try to tell my pastor he's not preaching the Bible accurately to his face. I would give you the web site, but I don't want you people to get on there and troll. Actually we don't like debating the Bible with people like you who will believe what you're going to believe no matter what anybody else says. Oh and by the way, I don't know who it was that had the bright idea to change my username to turdbear, but brilliantly hilarious. Lol, I'm cracking up over here.
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Well then give me your pastor's name, address, and phone number. I'm not afraid to meet with him in person and hash things out.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
I'd love to see you guys try to tell my pastor he's not preaching the Bible accurately to his face. I would give you the web site, but I don't want you people to get on there and troll. Actually we don't like debating the Bible with people like you who will believe what you're going to believe no matter what anybody else says. Oh and by the way, I don't know who it was that had the bright idea to change my username to turdbear, but brilliantly hilarious. Lol, I'm cracking up over here.
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Still waiting for you to show where a True Christian™ has mis quoted the Bible(KJV1611).
As you have read it cover to cover it should not be too hard should it? And if your Pastor is so great, have him sign up to prove he's not just a light weight Christian who loves the gays and thinks lesbians are people too.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Unsaved trash, blind, deaf and dumb
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 76
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: spreading my legs for a horse
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:24 PM
I'm not giving you my pastor's info, are you crazy?!!! I'm not sicking a pack of trolls on my pastor. He's got enough to worry about without you guys causing trouble. He'd probably have more patience to deal with you guys than I do, but also he wouldn't have this weird fascination with this board as I have. He would just try to give you the Gospel, and might answer some questions, but he's not going to debate a troll.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
...Actually we don't like debating the Bible with people like you who will believe what you're going to believe no matter what anybody else says...
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Your presence here exposes that as blatantly hypocritical, on at least two levels.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
I'm not giving you my pastor's info, are you crazy?!!! I'm not sicking a pack of trolls on my pastor. He's got enough to worry about without you guys causing trouble. He'd probably have more patience to deal with you guys than I do, but also he wouldn't have this weird fascination with this board as I have. He would just try to give you the Gospel, and might answer some questions, but he's not going to debate a troll.
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We already have the Gospel. This whole site is dedicated to Jesus.
I don't get what point you are trying to make.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
...He would just try to give you the Gospel, and might answer some questions...
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Read: try to convince them of what it really means.
Why do you tolerate him insulting your intelligence, by discounting your ability to read and understand the words as written in plain English?
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Unsaved trash, blind, deaf and dumb
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 76
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: spreading my legs for a horse
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 06:30 PM
@Didymus, I'm not here because I like debating the Bible, I'm here because most of this board is hilarious. Some of the wild and crazy stuff you guys come up with cracks me up.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 07:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
I'm not giving you my pastor's info, are you crazy?!!! I'm not sicking a pack of trolls on my pastor. He's got enough to worry about without you guys causing trouble. He'd probably have more patience to deal with you guys than I do, but also he wouldn't have this weird fascination with this board as I have. He would just try to give you the Gospel, and might answer some questions, but he's not going to debate a troll.
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Your paster is free to join us in worship and praise here! If he truly has some insight that is inspired by the Holy Spirit, as revealed through the Holy Bible, he will be well received indeed! Perhaps he will see, we are not "trolls" as you call us. We are simply True Christians™ who believe the LORD is trustworthy as He says He is.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
...I like debating the Bible...
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Where in the Bible does God say He wants His Word debated?
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 08:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
...I like debating the Bible...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Where in the Bible does God say He wants His Word debated?
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If you're having trouble coming up with something, I can suggest:
2 Peter 1:20 "Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation."
Oh, wait...
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
@Didymus, I'm not here because I like debating the Bible, I'm here because most of this board is hilarious. Some of the wild and crazy stuff you guys come up with cracks me up.
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What is so funny about the sacrifice that Jesus made for to save us from His righteous justice?
You sir, are one very strange bunny.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 08:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by turdbear
@Didymus, I'm not here because I like debating the Bible, I'm here because most of this board is hilarious. Some of the wild and crazy stuff you guys come up with cracks me up.
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Are you implying that READING AND FOLLOWING THE BIBLE is "wild and crazy?" Because the Landover Church is not proposing anything that is not based on the Bible.
And following the entire Bible is the Christian thing to do:
James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Unsaved trash, confirmed retard
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Posts: 67
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: window licking
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Re: Hiding Bruises -
03-29-2013, 09:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Yet another retard who doesn't understand the difference between a correction and abuse.
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BILLIEJAN is not a retarded becasue we AHVE MORE SEnse than that
For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. (1 Corinthians 11:6)
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