We have previously established with meticulous Creation Science methods that
i)
Adolf Hitler is
alive and well and
ii) he was the
first man on the Moon and apparently resides there. In addition, we have presented a
strong hypothesis that in addition to being an abhorrent non-Biblical genocide promoter,
iii) Mr. Hitler could also have been a
Nazi. Now it is time to continue our investigation and follow his footsteps to the actual den of the
Deutsches Reich -
India.
Mr. Hitler has established a
successful franchise of sportswear and footwear in India called "
Hitler Sports". Did he finally
Repent® and become a decent entrepreneur? Less words, less
Mein Kampf but more decent
U.
S. of
A. -type clean, honest
business?
It is written, as follows:
Ecclesiastes 5:3
For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words.
Verily, it is
possible that Hitler has finally settled down from the Moon. The franchise has
multiple outlets in some parts of India, spreading the relatively good news of
American football to the country infested with hockey, cricket, vegetarianism, and polytheism.
Looks good, clean, suitable for aspiring
True Christian™ boys and young youth. Ye Olde Shoppe is
located in Nainital Road, Haldwani - 263139, Near
Vishal Mega Mart.
Haldwani is a v
ery nice town not unlike Hitler's beloved
Alpine resorts.
It is exactly like in the Book of Jonah. A
corrupted man comes to a nice town at the foothills of
mountains and accepts the healing, soothing touch of
Jesus! Is it True™. Is Mr. Hitler overcoming the unnatural but
brilliant longevity treatments of the Nazis and the Chilling exile in Chile and on the
Moon?
Jonah 2:6
I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption, O LORD my God.
Let us examine his case.
The Nazis - and, remember, Hitler
could have been one of them -
invented the Puma and Adidas running shoes. Does Hitler sell them? Yes he does. No problem there, they are decent shoes. This is
an actual inside view of his store discovered by our Creation Science team after some careful
image searches on the Interwebs.
What
other brands of running shoes are thee? You guessed it.
Nike.
Nike is the company that most strongly opposes our beloved president
the Donald. Nike is
His principal enemy. It is time we looked at the image above in detail. Be ready to observe how
Creation Science works: We do not take things for granted but examine everything
unbiased and with
skepticism.
Look at the logos.
Hitler sells Nike shoes. He opposes
America. He is
still fighting his cause of trying to
murder hundreds of millions of God-Fearing Americans.
Quote:
US President Donald Trump has criticised sportswear company Nike following its decision to use Colin Kaepernick as the face of a new campaign.
Kaepernick was the first NFL player to kneel during the national anthem to highlight racial injustice.
"Nike is getting absolutely killed with anger and boycotts," Trump said.
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We have already provided
President Trump with a memo containing the results of our investigation. We're expecting to see
nukes illuminate the skies of India (and the
Moon) any moment now.
Glory to God. A promising businessman, Mr. Hitler will probably
flee as his intelligence is everywhere but at least the world will be a safer place.
I would also recommend that
any of our Brethren on missions in India avoid the Vishal Mega Nart as it could soon be taken down by an Act of
God.
Isaiah 34:2
For the indignation of the LORD is upon all nations, and his fury upon all their armies: he hath utterly destroyed them, he hath delivered them to the slaughter.
Nice verse.
Not Nike.
More beautiful words than Isaiah 34:2 have probably never been uttered.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer