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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-29-2010, 09:06 PM
Due to the unusually long, hot and dry summer local poultry farmers are in for a terrible winter. During these hot days chickens loose their feathers in an attempt to cool off but will not have rejuvenated their plumage by the beginning of winter so farmers have to either protect their animals with knitted cock socks or risk losing their birds.
Future Farmers of America are asking civic minded ladies to donate their time and spare wool to make as many cock socks as possible as the birds continue to molt even this late into the year. Anyone can contact their local FFA group at the high school for patterns and drop off sites for your gifts of poultry apparel.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-29-2010, 10:32 PM
Brother,
What a grand idea! I would be more than happy to donate time to knitting, or sewing as many cocksocks as I possibly can.
As James and I don't have any chickens, I may need to get hold of a cock to work out measurements for a secure and snug fit. Could you or someone you know perhaps assist?
YIC
Sister Phebe
There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-29-2010, 10:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Phebe Dewitt
Brother,
What a grand idea! I would be more than happy to donate time to knitting, or sewing as many cocksocks as I possibly can.
As James and I don't have any chickens, I may need to get hold of a cock to work out measurements for a secure and snug fit. Could you or someone you know perhaps assist?
YIC
Sister Phebe
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Sister, as a farm girl I can tell you that cocks come in many shapes and sizes. From the small but feisty Bantams that are less than 8" to the Jersey Giant that weighs in at 13 pounds but is much more docile, in fact some would say down right lazy. You would pretty much have to contact individual farmers and ask them if you can come out and measure all of the cocks that they have on their farm.
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GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-29-2010, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Sister, as a farm girl I can tell you that cocks come in many shapes and sizes. From the small but feisty Bantams that are less than 8" to the Jersey Giant that weighs in at 13 pounds but is much more docile, in fact some would say down right lazy. You would pretty much have to contact individual farmers and ask them if you can come out and measure all of the cocks that they have on their farm.
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Well this is quite a lot of information to take in. Thank you Sister. I am wondering though if these farmers I do not know, would be willing to just pull their cocks out for me to measure. As a farm girl yourself, do you think they would be happy to do so? I mean all considered it would be for their own benefit in the long run.
YIC
Sister Phebe.
There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-29-2010, 11:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Phebe Dewitt
Well this is quite a lot of information to take in. Thank you Sister. I am wondering though if these farmers I do not know, would be willing to just pull their cocks out for me to measure. As a farm girl yourself, do you think they would be happy to do so? I mean all considered it would be for their own benefit in the long run.
YIC
Sister Phebe.
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I can't see why a farmer wouldn't pull his cock out for you to measure, although the hens can get quite upset and clucky about him do so. They're rather temperamental creatures(the hens) and don't like anyone fooling around with what they consider their property. So don't reach in and grab it yourself! You will find though that most farmers only have one cock on the premises. Cocks can be very possessive.
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-29-2010, 11:33 PM
Not knowing much more than a need for civic duty I am not sure about how close to a ''snug fit'' these things need to be. Is there some sort of stretchy yarn that could be used to make one size fits all? If you wish to submit any questions to the FAA group I will be glad to present them to the club so they might answer but please remember that the normal age in the FAA is 14-15 years old.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 12:56 AM
Oh my, the thought of those poor cocks shriveling in the cold just gives me the willies! I wasn't sure what I could do to help keep these poor cocks nice and warm when my landlord Mr. Dick Johnson came up with an excellent idea
He asked me to stop by his apartment unit tomorrow for a lunch of weiners, noodles and sausages, and he would show me this great tool he has for keeping cocks warm and happy! I don't quite know what it is yet, but he says its made of wood.
I can't wait to do what I can for these little cocks with their cute little peckers, I've loved them since I was a little girl!
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Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 01:07 AM
I would like to give a hand to keep those cocks warm. Are American cocks any different to Aussie cocks. I did get to see different cocks when I went on missions with my father and noticed some countries have smaller cocks, especially in Asia.
Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 01:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H
I would like to give a hand to keep those cocks warm. Are American cocks any different to Aussie cocks. I did get to see different cocks when I went on missions with my father and noticed some countries have smaller cocks, especially in Asia.
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I think American cocks are about the same size as Austrailian cocks considering they both basically have British roots.
I found a pattern online from England. It says it will fit a standard layer, so I'm hoping they will fit.
Materials
Double knitting yarn (100g makes approximately 3 jumpers)
2 buttons or 10cm Velcro
1 pair of number 8 (4mm) knitting needles
4mm crochet hook
Knitted in stocking stitch with garter stitch borders
Cast on 41 sts,
Work 4 rows K
Increase for tabs;
Cast on 10 sts at beginning of next row, k14, p to last 4 sts, k4.
Cast on 10 sts at beginning of next row, k14, p to last 14sts, k14.
Work buttonholes; (work these 2 rows straight if using Velcro).
(K2, yf k2tog) 3 times, work to end keeping edges in garter st.
Repeat this row for buttonholes on the other tab.
Cast off 10 sts at beginning of next row.
Next row – cast off 10 sts, k4, p2 tog, p to last 6 sts, p2tog, k4.
Dec 1 st at each end on every fol 6th row until 25 sts remain.
Divide for neck;
Work 11 sts, cast off 3, work to end – complete this half first.
1) k4, p to end
2) cast off 2, k to end
3) k4, p to end
4) k2tog, k to end
5) k4, p2tog, p to end
Work 4 rows straight
10) K to last 5 sts, inc in next st, k4.
11) K4, p to last st, inc in next st.
12) Cast on 2 sts, k to end, (11sts)
13) K4, p to end
14) K
Break yarn and rejoin to the other side of neck.
Work to match, reversing shaping’s and ending at winghole edge.
Next row – k, cast on 3, k across sts from other side of neck.
Next row , k4 inc in next st, p to last 5 sts, inc in next st, k4.
Inc 1 st at each end of every fol 6th row until there are 41 sts on the needle.
Work 6 rows straight.
Change to gst and knit 4 rows.
Cast off.
Sew on buttons or Velcro as desired.
Work double crochet around neck.
Another one for those better at sewing than knitting
I use a long sleeved sweater made of stretchy acrylic fabric and cut off part of a sleeve. Measure the length of the cock’s body from the bottom of the neck to the tail and add a few extra inches to see how much of the sleeve to cut. You can always cut more off if it is too much.
Then hold the sleeve up to the chicken to see approximately where the wings sit, and cut two small holes about the size of a quarter or half dollar on each side for the wings to come out. You can then slide the sleeve over the chicken’s head, pull the wings through the holes and there’s your sweater! I usually roll the top part down like a turtle neck, and roll the back part down and sew it so that it doesn’t hang down at all and get caught in her feet. The important thing is to have really stretchy material to work with so you can pull the wings through without hurting him – you can probably find good sweaters for this at a thrift shop or something.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 01:29 AM
Those hairless cocks would be nice though. They are pre-plucked. All you would have to do is chop it's head off.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 01:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Those hairless cocks would be nice though. They are pre-plucked. All you would have to do is chop it's head off.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 02:33 AM
Let me see if I get this, you ladies are going to make coats and sweaters for cocks. If I where the farmer I would keep my cock in the hen house, where its warm and moist. You can not leave your cock out side in the winter even with a coat. The cold dry air can be quite harmful.
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 05:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Let me see if I get this, you ladies are going to make coats and sweaters for cocks. If I where the farmer I would keep my cock in the hen house, where its warm and moist. You can not leave your cock out side in the winter even with a coat. The cold dry air can be quite harmful.
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Yes the cock spends the majority of it's time in the hen house, but it can't stay in there all the time. The gasses that get trapped in there can be deadly and the cock needs some time to dry out or its skin will start to rot.
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 05:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Yes the cock spends the majority of it's time in the hen house, but it can't stay in there all the time. The gasses that get trapped in there can be deadly and the cock needs some time to dry out or its skin will start to rot.
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That's an excellent point.
I remember running across more than one pruny, peeling cock that hadn't been adequately aired out. Not only did they look appalling, but the smell was disgusting!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 06:13 AM
them cocks look so cute in thier socks! but i be thinkin that maybee they needs some pants to? cuz we not wants the cocks to look like donald ducks, he be a perverts wiv no pants on
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 07:10 AM
HERE's a nice big red one.
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 08:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Let me see if I get this, you ladies are going to make coats and sweaters for cocks. If I where the farmer I would keep my cock in the hen house, where its warm and moist. You can not leave your cock out side in the winter even with a coat. The cold dry air can be quite harmful.
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It seems feathers are also a protection against illness. Not only are they susceptible to Avian flu but also skin infections including one that can be passed onto humans and is considered one of the sexually transmitted diseases, scabies. That said, ladies if you are out and measuring up a few strange cocks for protection, please remember to wash your hands between handling these sickly pluckers, to protect yourself.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 12:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Those hairless cocks would be nice though. They are pre-plucked. All you would have to do is chop it's head off.
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I think there may be a market for hairless cocks.
Sure saves you from getting fluff and stuff caught in your teeth.
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 02:36 PM
Dear Christians,
Since I’m quite good at this kind of house work I would be more than happy to help them poor cocks
However, every time I try to search the Internet for information about this important subject the computer just displays this rather strange error message from something called “Family Filter 1,3”
Where did you Christian ladies find the knitting patterns for those fine cock socks?
Proverbs 10:8 (King James Version):
"The wise in heart will receive commandments: but a prating fool shall fall."
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Re: Donate a cock sock, help save local farmers -
09-30-2010, 07:42 PM
I came up with some weird results as well. Some long tubular things that didn't look like they'd fit any cock I've ever seen. So I did an image search and then went to the sites from there.
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