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Reload this Page I need a prayer bath
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Default I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 05:50 AM

Ooh, spending all day in the kitchen, I get awfully stinky. One of these days, I just want to sink deep and soothe in a deep spiritual bath.

Isaiah 5:10 Yea, ten acres of vineyard shall yield one bath, and the seed of an homer shall yield an ephah.


Yes, a wine-soaked bath of prayer for me any day. I'm not sure anyone knows what an ephah is, but I'm guessing it's a harem for homers to spill their corrupted seed, no thank you.



I just want the bubbles, candles and Jesus, with the lights dimmed half-way. You feeling me, ladies?



THE MOANS CHILDREN Adelaide Eunice Rush Crusher(FISHING ACCIDENT) Truth Lloyd Mildrew Angina (DIED IN A FIRE) Scooter Bud Carson Bobby (DIED IN A FIRE) Modesty(SLAIN BY A BULLET) Boomhauer Donald Grenadine Lysol(SUCKED BY A TORNADO)
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Jesus Re: I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 03:40 PM

Sister,


I am praying that you will be bathed in the Holy Spirit, and that the Lord's Honey will cover you in His Love and Comfort.


Glory!


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 06:23 PM

My sins are being covered by the crimson flow, Brother.


THE MOANS CHILDREN Adelaide Eunice Rush Crusher(FISHING ACCIDENT) Truth Lloyd Mildrew Angina (DIED IN A FIRE) Scooter Bud Carson Bobby (DIED IN A FIRE) Modesty(SLAIN BY A BULLET) Boomhauer Donald Grenadine Lysol(SUCKED BY A TORNADO)
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Default Re: I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 07:24 PM

Hi Miss Moans! Am I old enough to take one of theee baths? If it would be cleansing to do so for Jesus, I would love to join you in one of these bathing sessions.
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Default Re: I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 10:10 PM

My dear, you are much too young to be contemplating such things. (Does this site have a kids only section? Why must precocious brats come intruding on my bathing routine?) The warmth of the water combined with bubbles will stimulate your supple girly bits, and fry your ovaries. I'll spare you further details. You don't need to think of these things.



I think you should have a nice cold shower, and get ready for your home school classes, Maxime.


THE MOANS CHILDREN Adelaide Eunice Rush Crusher(FISHING ACCIDENT) Truth Lloyd Mildrew Angina (DIED IN A FIRE) Scooter Bud Carson Bobby (DIED IN A FIRE) Modesty(SLAIN BY A BULLET) Boomhauer Donald Grenadine Lysol(SUCKED BY A TORNADO)
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Default Re: I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 10:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Hi Miss Moans! Am I old enough to take one of theee baths? If it would be cleansing to do so for Jesus, I would love to join you in one of these bathing sessions.
How does that work, in your opinion dear? How does travelling to take a bath with a middle aged housewife you've never met be "for Jesus"?



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 10:23 PM

Why on earth would anyone want to take a bath in what is obviously a kitchen sink?


Ecclesiastes 12:13

Let vs heare the conclusion of the whole matter: Feare God, and keepe his commandements, for this is the whole duetie of man.
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Default Re: I need a prayer bath - 08-11-2018, 11:31 PM

I enjoy my bath time! My husband and sons know not to disturb me as I spend time in the bubbles, contemplating the love of Jesus, and washing my body of its filth. As I wash, I imagine Jesus Himself coming down and washing my body in His blood, washing away all the dirt and filth that has accumulated in not only my body but in my life.


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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