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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-14-2008, 12:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
Mr. Don Bozo el Guapo, I'm afraid this isn't the welfare desk where you can finance your drug smuggling operations underneath the US-Mexico border.
Does this mean that you want to apply for the position boy? We can give you a trial run if you like.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-14-2008, 12:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Does this mean that you want to apply for the position boy? We can give you a trial run if you like.
It would be a an honor, Mr. Pastor Ezekiel, however, nigras have clumsy hands and doing something that requires intelligence makes me hungry and confused. One more reason why I need to be White in the inside like Condi.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-14-2008, 12:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
It would be a an honor, Mr. Pastor Ezekiel, however, nigras have clumsy hands and doing something that requires intelligence makes me hungry and confused. One more reason why I need to be White in the inside like Condi.
I understand how you coons want to be house nigras. You want to improve yourself the best you can, some of you. We'll post a letter asking for help in this thread soon, and let you give it a whirl. Backing up your advice with scripture is a plus.

Of course the pay would be substantially lower for you. You coloreds don't need much money to get by on, not like a White man.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-14-2008, 12:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I understand how you coons want to be house nigras. You want to improve yourself the best you can, some of you. We'll post a letter asking for help in this thread soon, and let you give it a whirl. Backing up your advice with scripture is a plus.

Of course the pay would be substantially lower for you. You coloreds don't need much money to get by on, not like a White man.
Thank you so much, sir! Coons do not need pay. Serving you and the Almighty is grand enough!! Wait until I tell that to mah 'brothas' in the hood.
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Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-14-2008, 07:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
Mr. Don Bozo el Guapo, I'm afraid this isn't the welfare desk where you can finance your drug smuggling operations underneath the US-Mexico border.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Does this mean that you want to apply for the position boy? We can give you a trial run if you like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
It would be a an honor, Mr. Pastor Ezekiel, however, nigras have clumsy hands and doing something that requires intelligence makes me hungry and confused. One more reason why I need to be White in the inside like Condi.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I understand how you coons want to be house nigras. You want to improve yourself the best you can, some of you. We'll post a letter asking for help in this thread soon, and let you give it a whirl. Backing up your advice with scripture is a plus.

Of course the pay would be substantially lower for you. You coloreds don't need much money to get by on, not like a White man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
Thank you so much, sir! Coons do not need pay. Serving you and the Almighty is grand enough!! Wait until I tell that to mah 'brothas' in the hood.
Attn: Passtor Ezikial. Your not really thinking of giveing this scientificly proven undersized pea brained monkey spunk this job are you? He dosent even know that drug profits come from the welfare office.


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Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-14-2008, 07:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo View Post
When can I expect the 1st check?
When you do the first thing that remotely resembles your job, JESUS will return and you will get everything you deserve.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-14-2008, 10:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
When you do the first thing that remotely resembles your job, JESUS will return and you will get everything you deserve.
If the raptures waitin on me to do the first thing resembleing a job it aint gonna happen this lifetime.


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Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-15-2008, 12:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo View Post
If the raptures waitin on me to do the first thing resembleing a job it aint gonna happen this lifetime.
I suspected as much from a parrothead. So now you know when your first check will arrive.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-15-2008, 06:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I suspected as much from a parrothead. So now you know when your first check will arrive.
Are you refering to that James Buffette,Hootie Blows kinda stuff? If you know of a way to get a buzz off a parrot maybe you should send me a personal message.


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Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-17-2008, 11:38 PM

Perhaps Don Bozo and Osambo could have a competition of sorts?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-19-2008, 04:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Perhaps Don Bozo and Osambo could have a competition of sorts?
I remember once when I was deployed to Lebanon in the 80s, we captured a group of three Joo spies, and we made one of the Joos fight an Arab to the death while the other two watched. The Arab won, but only after losing an eye and a couple of teeth. I guess the dead Joo took the Old Testament pretty seriously. Good times.
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Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-23-2008, 05:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tantheus Robinson View Post
I remember once when I was deployed to Lebanon in the 80s, we captured a group of three Joo spies, and we made one of the Joos fight an Arab to the death while the other two watched. The Arab won, but only after losing an eye and a couple of teeth. I guess the dead Joo took the Old Testament pretty seriously. Good times.
Sounds like you got some serious issuses Bubba. What happend to the other 2 Judios. Try uppin your meds,in fact take the whole bottle.


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Default Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist - 12-23-2008, 05:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo View Post
Sounds like you got some serious issuses Bubba. What happend to the other 2 Judios. Try uppin your meds,in fact take the whole bottle.
Hey, it's just what they do anyway. We ransomed the other two back for some stock from Bernie Madoff.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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