General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 05:24 PM
Greetings Unsaved Trash.
I have noticed a great deal of Unsaved Trash lurking on GOD'S Favorite Forum™ lately. I believe that JESUS has sent you here for a reason. To be SAVED®!!!
This Month Only when you register and Tithe (minimum $2,500) you will receive one free kitty.
HURRY! Supplies are limited. Colors may vary from kitty to kitty.
Enthusiastic, Sister Thumper
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 05:26 PM
Awww Shucks BTB.
Makes you almost want to become a new member of God's™ favourite Forum again!!
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 08:29 PM
I WANT ONE! I WANT ONE!
I already have 13, but what's one more. Could I renew my membership Thumper??
Moon
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Youthful soldier of Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 86
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Land of Chavs, England
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 09:21 PM
Oooh, I want one too!! Not fair, my last kitty was a demon possessed old thing...
If I tithe extra hard in the Good Lord's name, can I possibly adopt a kitty too??
~Rain
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 09:22 PM
"you must spreads some reputations around before givin it to Miss.BTB agains"
that there a annointed kitty, Miss.BTB. she sweet an demure, she gots them true christain lady tempermints™ an maybee she be a good influince on Miss.Tyson an Miss.Holyfields
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 10:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Greetings Unsaved Trash.
I have noticed a great deal of Unsaved Trash lurking on GOD'S Favorite Forum™ lately. I believe that JESUS has sent you here for a reason. To be SAVED®!!!
This Month Only when you register and Tithe (minimum $2,500) you will receive one free kitty.
HURRY! Supplies are limited. Colors may vary from kitty to kitty.
Enthusiastic, Sister Thumper
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That's all nice and good, but just make sure no gooks try and get their hands on any of those kittens. I bet Hitoshi was licking his lips and carving himself some new chop sticks when he read about this opportunity
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 11:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
That's all nice and good, but just make sure no gooks try and get their hands on any of those kittens. I bet Hitoshi was licking his lips and carving himself some new chop sticks when he read about this opportunity
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How can we be certain that no one that will do these kittens harm gets them??
Moon
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 11:22 PM
What are you talking about? Kittens are food items just like chickens.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
What are you talking about? Kittens are food items just like chickens.
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I was thinking the same thing, cat, served as a dish, deserves more respect.
It's actually quite delicous, somewhat similar in taste to rabbit.
Now... May I have one of those cute little kittens to.. cuddle?
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 11:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Pastor Al E Gristle
What are you talking about? Kittens are food items just like chickens.
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Mr.Pastor Pistle, i be prayin lord God releese you from that liddle yellow demon of exotick foods!
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 11:51 PM
Ooohhh a free kitty!!
I want one!!
Shame that I'm a dedicated heathen
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-25-2006, 11:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.SalivationSeeker
Now... May I have one of those cute little kittens to.. cuddle?
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you can cuddles this here innernet kitty, Mr.Seeker
<--- she be safes from you!
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True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
you can cuddles this here innernet kitty, Mr.Seeker
<--- she be safes from you!
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Bah..
That's no good, I want a pet which I can eat after I've cuddled it.
My pa' used to have all these cute rabbits when I was a kid, and when I got hungry and fancied some rabbit meat;
I simply went out, grabbed one and cuddled it for a while, then broke it's neck and gave it to the servants so they could cock me a delicious dinner.
Why can't one do the same with cats, because as Pastor Pistle pointed out, they are food items..
Yet many people use them as pets..
So why couldn't one combine the two?
A pet which you eat once hungry or fed up with it?
Now please hand me a kitty.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:13 AM
The Holy Bible is clear on this point. Jesus ate meat, but we don't know from which animal. It could have been catmeat for all we know.
I too enjoyed cuddling, then eating soft fluffy bunnies as a child. I have always felt that cuteness has no bearing on edibility. There's nothing cuter than a baby piglet, but who would turn down a succulent slab of bacon?
I'll take a few of those cats too.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.SalivatinSeeker
Now please hand me a kitty.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiller of kittys
I'll take a few of those cats too.
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nows, i not want to cause no offenses, but you menfolk got eyes bigger than your stomack , it true. i not no for shore, but i thinks kitty meat be kinda tuff an gamey , it taste real bad cuz kittys be carnivores, so when you eats a kitty you be eatin all the mouses they eated but maybee that not so bad cuz mouses eat cheese so maybee kittys taste like cheddar or bloo vein
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True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
How can we be certain that no one that will do these kittens harm gets them??
Moon
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Moon if you become a TC I promise not to hurt your kitty
Got Jesus?
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True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
nows, i not want to cause no offenses, but you menfolk got eyes bigger than your stomack , it true. i not no for shore, but i thinks kitty meat be kinda tuff an gamey , it taste real bad cuz kittys be carnivores, so when you eats a kitty you be eatin all the mouses they eated but maybee that not so bad cuz mouses eat cheese so maybee kittys taste like cheddar or bloo vein
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As I said earlier, cat taste somewhat similar to rabbit.
They don't taste bad at all.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Ooohhh a free kitty!!
I want one!!
Shame that I'm a dedicated heathen
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Convert and we'll give you a kitten!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Mike
Moon if you become a TC I promise not to hurt your kitty
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But I'd be such a bad TC Mike, just ask everyone here what a horrible TC I was before. Would you have patience with me??
Moon
PS - Any man that promises to be nice to my kitty deserves anything he wants.
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
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Re: SPECIAL! for Unsaved Trash - This Month Only! -
09-26-2006, 12:48 AM
If Rachel and Moon convert, I'll give them each a box of deer slugs for free!
Got Jesus?
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