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  #21  
Old 07-06-2014, 06:22 AM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Oh my goodness, brother Levi, I never meant to imply that I resented tithing! Oh Heavens, no! No, no, no! Please don't give this matter another thought, and please let's not have any talk of me going on food stamps! I've learned that by eating jars of store-brand peanut butter, I can easily get my recommended 2000 calories per day without having to spend very much money at all. Sometimes I even splurge on one store-brand bread and I have sandwiches!
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  #22  
Old 07-06-2014, 06:44 AM
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WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Pastor Zeke, with all due respect, how is the church going to pay for tripling your stipend? That money's got to come out of some other program or service, right?
I think Jesus had something to say about all this - He provides.

Quote:
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

- Matthew 6:31-34

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

- Philippians 4:19-20
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  #23  
Old 07-06-2014, 10:56 AM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

What an interesting thread!
Those who complain most about Pastor Zeke's package in the relative safety of the women's meetings are those who in this thread come out in favour of huge rewards for the said pastor. Presumably to cover up their duplicitous thoughts.
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  #24  
Old 07-06-2014, 01:17 PM
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Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I think people need to calm down somewhat here and think about what is important here.

That's right: getting the message of Jesus out to the world in it's literal form. To do this one as to have confidence in the speaker.

Who would any of us here feel more comfortable with: a well dressed, tanned young man, clean limbed, blue eyed with good teeth and a winning smile, muscular (but not too much so) stepping out of a well specified auto that boosts the US oil and parts industries of this great nation in America?

Or a stunted, gnarled, nancy boy speaking ebonics and driving a Prius, no doubt cluthing a pamplet on Marxism?

Confidence.

Confidence is the trick here. How can people feel confident in Jesus' temporary Sacrifice and subsequent ressurrection if the person "leadin' the readin'" smells of urine stale sweat?

When I take my youthful, eager young, clean limbed young Newphew to see one of the men I hold dearest in the world I need to know that the person he is staying over with is trustworthy: my Nephew is very precious and I need to know I have confidence in the person watching him as he sleeps.

Who would you trust a naive young adolescent, with barely the downiest wisps of fluff on his soft cheeks with?

A barely human, paedophilic, tramp, smelling of man seed and poor people?

Or a Godly man, blessed by Jesus to deliver His Word with the trappings of Holiness?

Darn right.

YIC
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1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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  #25  
Old 07-08-2014, 05:03 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

By the way, I'm putting a requisition for the new Mercedes Pullman. Saftey first, I always say.

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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #26  
Old 07-08-2014, 06:00 AM
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knob polisher knob polisher is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Who do I talk to to negotiate my compensation package since I'm on my way to becoming a deacon?
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  #27  
Old 07-08-2014, 07:08 AM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I don't think you're on your way to becoming a deacon, but I will pray for you.
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  #28  
Old 07-08-2014, 07:14 AM
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Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop polisher View Post
Who do I talk to to negotiate my compensation package since I'm on my way to becoming a deacon?
What about your 'Brother' Obama?

He looks after his own.

YIC
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1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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  #29  
Old 07-08-2014, 07:15 AM
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Attila's Wife Attila's Wife is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop polisher View Post
Who do I talk to to negotiate my compensation package since I'm on my way to becoming a deacon?
The way you're carrying on, you're on your way to an all-round hotter experience, sonny.

But let's not go off-topic here. Nice car, Pastor!
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  #30  
Old 07-08-2014, 07:25 AM
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Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop polisher View Post
Who do I talk to to negotiate my compensation package since I'm on my way to becoming a deacon?
After seeing the Pastors request for next years car, you might want to rethink your options and apply for a job as chauffeur (that means driver). That is if you have a clean drivers license.
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1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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  #31  
Old 07-08-2014, 10:55 PM
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knob polisher knob polisher is offline
Unsaved trash, uppity coon
 

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knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.knob polisher is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Your so right Faith Machune. I'm on my way to being Pastor of LBC!!! I'll be Pastor Deacon Fred's successor.
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  #32  
Old 07-08-2014, 11:59 PM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

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Originally Posted by bishop polisher View Post
Your so right Faith Machune. I'm on my way to being Pastor of LBC!!! I'll be Pastor Deacon Fred's successor.
You appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur, friend. Have you considered making an appointment with a good Christian psychiatrist?
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  #33  
Old 07-09-2014, 12:08 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
Who would any of us here feel more comfortable with: a well dressed, tanned young man, clean limbed, blue eyed with good teeth and a winning smile, muscular (but not too much so) stepping out of a well specified auto that boosts the US oil and parts industries of this great nation in America?
I have no problems with our Godly Pastor having some decent transportation, but I fail to see why it has to be replaced each and every year.

At least part of the money we give to the Church should go to the actual Church building. We already had 3 deaths this year because parts of the roof fell on people's heads. Not to mention several elders breaking bones on the completely worn stairs. Getting wet when it's raining is starting to get slightly annoying as well. Somehow only the part of the Church where Pastor Ezekiel is preaching stays dry.
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  #34  
Old 07-09-2014, 01:37 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I lie awake nights worrying about the Church's budget. It is easy to see Pastor Zeke's package is a big part of it.

Then I see that Satan pays Obama plenty. And those people carrying around rainbow flags, Satan is paying them, too.

I don't know how we're going to do it, but Pastor Zeke has to be functioning at 110% every minute to keep ahead of Satan.
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  #35  
Old 07-09-2014, 04:55 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I'll be happy to be deacon for the low price of $250,000/ year.
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  #36  
Old 07-09-2014, 05:01 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop polisher View Post
I'll be happy to be deacon for the low price of $250,000/ year.
Deacons don't normally get paid. It's usually a voluntary position.
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  #37  
Old 07-09-2014, 05:09 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

I don't know where this came from but I think I may have a solution to our financial problems at Landover Baptist. I do not believe taking much needed stripends away from our most hard-working, *cough* handsome *cough* Pastor Zeke is the answer. True Christians™ and Pastors especially, sacrifice much of their time which could be spent praying on responding to sinners on this forum in hopes of getting them to accept Jesus into their hearts.
Well what if we make that time more worthwile by charging every nigra, etc that posts here until they are upgraded to Forum Member. I believe it would solve most of our problems and Pastor Zeke wouldn't have to drive a h...hyb- I can't even say that cheap car's name.
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  #38  
Old 07-09-2014, 06:41 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Thompson View Post
I don't know where this came from but I think I may have a solution to our financial problems at Landover Baptist. I do not believe taking much needed stripends away from our most hard-working, *cough* handsome *cough* Pastor Zeke is the answer. True Christians™ and Pastors especially, sacrifice much of their time which could be spent praying on responding to sinners on this forum in hopes of getting them to accept Jesus into their hearts.
Well what if we make that time more worthwile by charging every nigra, etc that posts here until they are upgraded to Forum Member. I believe it would solve most of our problems and Pastor Zeke wouldn't have to drive a h...hyb- I can't even say that cheap car's name.
It's worth remembering too, how much his talents would command in the corporate sector. A pharmaceuticals CEO, say, or something big in oil. They have a similar responsibility for our health and wellbeing in this life as he has for the next.
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  #39  
Old 07-09-2014, 06:42 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pim Pendergast View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop polisher
I'll be happy to be deacon for the low price of $250,000/ year.
Deacons don't normally get paid. It's usually a voluntary position.



Isn't he offering to pay us? He seems to think he can bribe his way into a deaconship.
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  #40  
Old 07-09-2014, 08:24 AM
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Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife View Post
[/I]
Isn't he offering to pay us? He seems to think he can bribe his way into a deaconship.
I think that is quite normal in catlick churches.
How many old ladies purses you have to steal to get that much money?
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