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  #1  
Old 07-15-2014, 03:49 AM
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Default HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO GOD'S VERY FAVORITE
PASTOR!











I have something very special planned for you.


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  #2  
Old 07-15-2014, 04:52 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

A blessed Birthday!

The birthday tithe of my family is on its way with a courier service.

This day of celebration will be superseded only by the day when You enter Heaven! Such a sight! The day our LORD ascended to Heaven cannot compare with that, as Jesus Himself will be welcoming you! May You bless us with Your presence for many years to come until that glorious day!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer
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Old 07-15-2014, 06:52 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Happy birthday! God has richly blessed you, given you another year, American citizenship, and eternal life in Jesus. Shout Glory!
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Old 07-15-2014, 07:35 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Happy Birthday!!!

Isaiah 52:7
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Old 07-15-2014, 08:02 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Pastor Zeke, I do hope that on your birthday you will take my advice and stop working for a few hours. I know that's an alien concept for you, but I really sincerely feel a little rest and relaxation will do you good.


Oh, and before I forget, please don't worry if you notice your houseboy is missing. It's OK, he's with me right now. I decided it would be a nice surprise if I got him groomed for you. I figure he should look presentable when you have company over.
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  #6  
Old 07-15-2014, 08:55 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

What can I say, Pastor Zeke?

Another year where Jesus has held off His desire to bring you to His side in the form or a falling safe or inapproriately positioned steamrollar.

It must be a validation of all of your hard work when Jesus feels you are of more use to Him in this fallen world, administering to unSaved scum and worthless trash who do not exhibit on tenth on the Godliness you possess in your smallest of members.

But take heart. Jesus' love is bountiful and I would keep and eye out for unwieldy power tools, inattentive tank drivers or Itallian streets in Pamplona.

One day Jesus will call you into His powerful muscular embrace, to be held in His firm thews; but until then keep striding manfully forwards, doing the work of The Lord with fear of reprise, thwartation or investigation.

YIC
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Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Old 07-15-2014, 09:52 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Happy Birthday!
What a glorious day!
Your birthday should be declared a public holiday nationwide. But that is not going to happen as long as the homer loving nigro occupies the WhiteBlack House.
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  #8  
Old 07-15-2014, 03:51 PM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Happy Birthday, dear Pastor Zeke. We thank our Beloved Lord for your continued presence among us.

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Old 07-15-2014, 04:37 PM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Congratulations to the miracle that is Pastor Ezekiel Flint. Every day I look in the mirror and see an old old man waiting for Jesus to kill him. Somehow you never seem to age a day. Actually you seem to get younger and younger. Jesus clearly want's you to stay around forever to fix the world and prepare it for the arrival of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We are truly blessed to be allowed to exist in your presence.

Also I want my axe back.
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Old 07-15-2014, 04:44 PM
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is online now
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

A most blessed birthday to you, dear Pastor and Brother in Christ!
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:58 PM
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Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is online now
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Happy Birthday Mein Shepard!

I've started that Rosetta Stone German course you gave me for my Birthday last month. I have to say I was a bit confused when I 1st saw the nametag and you had inadvertently signed the tag To Pastor Zeke but I know little mistakes happen occasionally.
I hope your present from Omaha Steaks Prime Reserve arrived today, they promised me it would. They also told me I was the 1st to order a half of beef so they have to find one of their fancy boxes to ship it in.

I would have posted earlier but Miss Daisy's e card caused several epileptic attacks!
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Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Old 07-15-2014, 06:47 PM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Although you have not been able to fufill my requests for some counseling due to other commitments, time and time again, I would like to wish you a happy birthday.

I really have a lot of problems and would very much need to talk to you abou them. You're my only hope, but i understand if you can't make it. I'll just sit overhere by the balcony .

"Maybe a week from Tuesday", as you have offered before?

If not, can you point me to another conselor. SOmeone who isn't too busy?

I'd rather not talk to a woman counseler (as if!) because it's a

sexural thing.

Your Brother
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Old 07-15-2014, 07:02 PM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Blessed Birthday Pastor Ezekiel.

By the way, has anyone seen Pastor Ezekiel today?


.......or my wife?
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  #14  
Old 07-15-2014, 09:32 PM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post

I have something very special planned for you.


Does this have anything to do with cows and free milk?

If you haven't been to the Altar by now he is never going to put a ring on it!




Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo




.
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  #15  
Old 07-15-2014, 09:50 PM
Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.'s Avatar
Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D. Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D. is offline
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Dear JustGotSaved,

Today I was with Pastor Ezekiel on the Freehold golf course to celebrate another year of his eternal devotion to God. His tales of how he single handedly won the world soccer championship were inspiring. The Freehold golf course is blessed. I especially like the 15th hole, a par three that plays slightly downhill to a green surrounded by statues of Pastor Ezekiel. It is a true links hole in that if you hit a shot of indifference you will get punished but you can also make birdie. I was doing quite well until near the end of the game it was as if God took over for Pastor Ezekiel and guided him towards a hole in one three times in a row. It was a truly magnificent and utterly humbling event which reminded me of Luke 18:27 (The things which are impossible with men are possible with God).

But that is not what I wanted to talk to you about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustGotSaved View Post
If not, can you point me to another conselor. SOmeone who isn't too busy?
I am almost certain I will be able to use one of my many God given skills to help you. I would need some information in advance though. Minor formalities like your annual income and the size of your stock portfolio.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.
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THE BIBLE SAYS THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE YOU!

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,
and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him
from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9


1. Admit you are a worthless sinner. Romans 3:10
2. Be willing to turn from sin (repent). Acts 17:30
3. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you, was buried and
rose from the dead. Romans 10:9-10
4. Through prayer, invite Jesus into your life to become
your personal Savior, Boss, King and Lord. Romans 10:13
What to Pray:

Lord Jesus, I know that I have sinned against you.
I know that I am not perfect and that I can never
please you through my own efforts. I know that I
deserve to be judged according to my sins. And, I
know that I have absolutely nothing to offer you.

Lord Jesus, I ask you to forgive me. I do not rely
on myself but only on you and I receive you as
Lord of my life and as savior of my soul.
Lord Jesus, please save me!

Accepted Jesus as your Savior?
Now you need to:


1. Study your KJV Bible every day
to get to know Christ better.
2. Talk to God in prayer every day.
3. Be baptized, worship, fellowship,
and serve with other Christians
in a church where Christ is preached,
and the Bible is the final authority.
4. Tell others about Jesus Christ
until the day Jesus finally kills you.
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  #16  
Old 07-15-2014, 11:07 PM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
Does this have anything to do with cows and free milk?

If you haven't been to the Altar by now he is never going to put a ring on it!




Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo




.

I am going to kick your ass. It's that simple.

I am going to

KICK.

YOUR.

ASS.



Wait for it.
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  #17  
Old 07-15-2014, 11:50 PM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Thank you, Brother Machine. You would think on this ONE DAY, our beloved Pastor and his loved ones would be free of disgusting CatLick persecution!

As for me, I am sending flowers born by that Freehold paperboy Zeke once admired from my porch. Will someone please give him a ride home if he has to stay late?

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  #18  
Old 07-16-2014, 12:15 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

You would not believe what just happened to me, Cookie. I took Zeke's houseboy on a road trip to Des Moines because I though it would be nice to get him a manicure and pedicure so he'd look presentable for Zeke's house guests.

Anyway, the lady at the mani-pedi place said she'd give us a good deal if we both got mani-pedis, so I said what the heck. Anyway, our fingernails and toenails are looking really nice now, but when we left the shop, some ruffians who saw us leaving together obviously got the wrong idea and started hurling epithets at us.

I just thank the good Lord I had my Ruger LCR-22 on me. And no, my conceal-and-carry permit is not current, so please instruct gate security not to let any state law enforcement or Des Moines cops into the city until I confirm that this is all straightened out.

I've obviously gone through a heck of a lot to give Zeke a splendid birthday week, but I don't mind. He's worth it.
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  #19  
Old 07-16-2014, 12:39 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Personally, I can't think of a person who I respect on these forums currently, more than pastor Zeke!

Even though we've had some differences in the past, Jesus forgives, and so do we.

Now is not the time to bring up past discrepancies, Now is the time for us all to get together and celebrate this man.

I know you all will join me in offering up a toast and a prayer and singing a song for this man.

So, lets all sing together "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dearest zeee-eeekkkeee; happy birthday to you"!

YIC
V
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Old 07-16-2014, 01:33 AM
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Default Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I took Zeke's houseboy on a road trip to Des Moines...when we left the shop, some ruffians who saw us leaving together obviously got the wrong idea and started hurling epithets at us....please instruct gate security not to let any state law enforcement or Des Moines cops into the city until I confirm that this is all straightened out.
We got a few calls...those weren't "ruffians"....they were undercover cops doing a stakeout.

Was this salon by any chance at a place called "The Midnight Sun Motel" ? ?
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