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False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

View Poll Results: What's the WORST False Religion?
Mary worshipping Cathylics 1,641 6.47%
Penny Pinching Bagel Meisters (who killed Jesus) 2,533 9.99%
Babbling Boodists and Hindoos 867 3.42%
Non-Baptist Christians of liberal persuasion 1,564 6.17%
Wiccas, Goths, Vampires, and other Devil Worshippers 5,186 20.44%
Moon-worshipping terrorist Mooselimbs 2,845 11.22%
Kill 'em all. The Lord knows His own. 4,536 17.88%
Harekrishnas and/or Jehosafats 1,203 4.74%
Self Proclaimed Psychologists 260 1.02%
Peak Oil / Emo Economics 236 0.93%
Obamaism (He ain't my Messiah) 1,768 6.97%
Spaghetti-worshiping fools 1,905 7.51%
Xenu Freak, couch jumping, Scientologists. 823 3.24%
Voters: 25367. You may not vote on this poll

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  #41  
Old 12-04-2006, 03:35 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
And whoever said we don't hate taoists?
I never tried a Taoist, but if you rearrange the letters it spells "Toasti", so I guess they taste like Quiznos subs.



Edit: Er, not that I'd ever put one in my MOUTH . . . um . . . I was just, ah, speculating. Yes, speculating.
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  #42  
Old 12-04-2006, 07:19 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
I never tried a Taoist, but if you rearrange the letters it spells "Toasti", so I guess they taste like Quiznos subs.



Edit: Er, not that I'd ever put one in my MOUTH . . . um . . . I was just, ah, speculating. Yes, speculating.
Thank goodness bc Quiznos subs taste like crap. Don't you people eat any good around here? All this Denny's and Quizno's talk is worrying.
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- Ovid
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  #43  
Old 12-04-2006, 07:25 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Thank goodness bc Quiznos subs taste like crap. Don't you people eat any good around here? All this Denny's and Quizno's talk is worrying.
Well I don't like to brag, but Sister Thumper can whip up a fine rabbit casserole. And we Pastors get together once a week or so for a pig roast.

We know how to live right, Praise Jesus.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #44  
Old 12-04-2006, 07:30 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
It's a very tricky question. I am always cautious to avoid violating Matthew 23:9, for fear that I'd turn into a Catholic idolator and end up in the Lake of Fire. Generally speaking, since my father is a yid, I just avoid talking to him whenever possible.


Hmmm... this drink sounds like it may have some kind of soporific effects. On the other hand, the Bible is so chock-full of fascinating stuff that leafing through it'll wake you right up. And this political theory book is NOT an adequate substitute for God's word! I've had the misfortune to encounter political theory on occasion, and it's a bunch of tedious mumbo-jumbo. You won't find gripping stuff like this in The Origins of the Family, Private Property, and the State (or whatever secular rubbish is trendy this week):
Genesis 5:1 ...Japheth.

Where God took Enoch is another question altogether.
Why Brother Temperance, don't tell me you read those books too. Any on philosophy? I think your hiding that intellectual light under a bushel!

The Bible truly is a wondrous thing. By only skimming that edifying excerpt of verses you posted...I felt the urge to meditate on the Lord. My eyes closed instantly in reverence.
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Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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  #45  
Old 12-04-2006, 07:34 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well I don't like to brag, but Sister Thumper can whip up a fine rabbit casserole. And we Pastors get together once a week or so for a pig roast.

We know how to live right, Praise Jesus.
Ooh. The sisters have me beat. I've roasted duck, but never a whole pig in such an...outdoorsy fashion and have no skill for rabbit casserole. I bow to their superior talent.
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Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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  #46  
Old 12-04-2006, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

The best religion God has given to this world is...Catholicism

Isn't it?
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  #47  
Old 12-04-2006, 12:37 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
The best religion God has given to this world is...Catholicism

Isn't it?
According to the poll above, many hold the opposite view. In fact, mary-worshipers are not even Christians. You can read all about papist ring kissers HERE.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #48  
Old 12-04-2006, 12:45 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
According to the poll above, many hold the opposite view. In fact, mary-worshipers are not even Christians. You can read all about papist ring kissers HERE.
Don't worry, I know. They're pagans who worship Mary, the saints, the holy rat and in some distant amazonian churches they even worship...Jesus.
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  #49  
Old 12-04-2006, 06:15 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Thank goodness bc Quiznos subs taste like crap. Don't you people eat any good around here? All this Denny's and Quizno's talk is worrying.
I have a balanced diet. Some nights I have Pot Noodles; some nights I have rice and ketchup; on yet another night, I may have partially-denatured chicken placenta. A word of advice: NEVER get a Slav housekeeper. There may be some things Polacks are good for (although I'm still not entirely sure what), but cooking is not one of them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa
Why Brother Temperance, don't tell me you read those books too. Any on philosophy? I think your hiding that intellectual light under a bushel!
As a good Christian, it is my duty to stay informed on all the Devil's machinations. I am currently forcing myself to wade through the unbelievably blasphemous rantings of the hellbound LESBIAN Sheila Jeffreys. Her work should be read by everyone, as a prime example of what happens when women try to think: their brains melt down.
__________________
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #50  
Old 12-04-2006, 10:55 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
I'm so sorry you had to experience those thoughts, Cat Lady. And I couldn't help but wonder about a picture I saw lately . . . doesn't that priest look a little too happy? And that poor kitty . . . she has terror in her eyes. Sort of a "you're going to do what to me with that" look. We must pray for the Lord to protect our children and pets from those bad Catlickers. CONCERNED MOTHER GLENDORA
Thankyou for being so thoughtful, Mrs Glendora.
You're very right, that priest looks too happy and that poor kitty does NOT! The kitty looks terrified!
Oh, how I wish I could save that poor kitty. Can anything be done about these horrible people? The children and kitties have to be saved from the clutches of these horrible people!
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  #51  
Old 12-05-2006, 12:02 AM
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Arethusa Arethusa is offline
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I have a balanced diet. Some nights I have Pot Noodles; some nights I have rice and ketchup; on yet another night, I may have partially-denatured chicken placenta. A word of advice: NEVER get a Slav housekeeper. There may be some things Polacks are good for (although I'm still not entirely sure what), but cooking is not one of them.
Rice & ketchup? Is there some corned beef chopped up with some yummy onions, garlic and pimento in the mix somewhere at least?

I'm a poor student, can't afford a housekeeper. I hope the Lord doesn't mind.

Quote:
As a good Christian, it is my duty to stay informed on all the Devil's machinations. I am currently forcing myself to wade through the unbelievably blasphemous rantings of the hellbound LESBIAN Sheila Jeffreys. Her work should be read by everyone, as a prime example of what happens when women try to think: their brains melt down.
Ok, you just stole the top spot in my LBC heart from Pastor Pistle.
__________________
Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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  #52  
Old 12-05-2006, 12:11 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post

Ok, you just stole the top spot in my LBC heart from Pastor Pistle.
Stifle yourself, foul temptress! Neither Brother Temperance nor Pastor Pistle are not interested in treading the path to hell with you. They are Men of God, not studmuffin street hustlers available for hire.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #53  
Old 12-05-2006, 01:07 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

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Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Rice & ketchup? Is there some corned beef chopped up with some yummy onions, garlic and pimento in the mix somewhere at least?

I'm a poor student, can't afford a housekeeper. I hope the Lord doesn't mind.
I couldn't afford a housekeeper either. I found the Slav in a skip (dumpster to you North American types.) The Lord doesn't care a bit how poor you are, as long as you are willing to tithe everything you own:
Luke 21:2 And he saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites.
3 And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all:
4 For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury hath cast in all the living that she had.
__________________
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #54  
Old 12-05-2006, 04:58 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Stifle yourself, foul temptress! Neither Brother Temperance nor Pastor Pistle are not interested in treading the path to hell with you. They are Men of God, not studmuffin street hustlers available for hire.
Take your mind out of the gutter, Pastor, you should be ashamed of yourself. I look at Pastor Pistle and Brother Temperance as my role models and spiritual guides.

You've been hanging out with the unsaved too long.
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Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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  #55  
Old 12-05-2006, 05:08 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I couldn't afford a housekeeper either. I found the Slav in a skip (dumpster to you North American types.) The Lord doesn't care a bit how poor you are, as long as you are willing to tithe everything you own:
Luke 21:2 And he saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites.
3 And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all:
4 For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury hath cast in all the living that she had.
Everything, eh? Well I'm a True Christian now. God and I have an understanding.
__________________
Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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  #56  
Old 12-05-2006, 05:10 AM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

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You've been hanging out with the unsaved too long.
It's true. He ministers to the heathen hordes 24/7. No one understands how he copes.
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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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  #57  
Old 12-05-2006, 04:09 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
It's true. He ministers to the heathen hordes 24/7. No one understands how he copes.
Poor Pastor Ezekiel. I'll light a candle for him.
__________________
Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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  #58  
Old 12-05-2006, 06:56 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

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Poor Pastor Ezekiel. I'll light a candle for him.
Light a candle, indeed!

Are you sure you're not a Cat-Lick?

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  #59  
Old 12-13-2006, 04:39 AM
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see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.see_the_light is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

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Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
I know our Lord Jesus Christ loves HIS favorite church (LBC of course). And I think HE'd want to know which false religion is the worst, especially in time for HIS birthday. I'll bet HE'd like to do some birthday smiting! Anyway, plese vote in our poll and if I missed one, you can add it (if you're one of HIS chosen few) or post it in a message for those of you who are less fortunate. ENTHUSIASTIC MOTHER GLYNNDIE

Amos 5:6 Seek the LORD, and ye shall live; lest he break out like fire in the house of Joseph, and devour it, and there be none to quench it
We all agree that they have ALL sinned against THE LORD, so KILL THEM ALL!

And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book
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  #60  
Old 12-13-2006, 09:12 PM
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Default Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

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Originally Posted by see_the_light View Post
We all agree that they have ALL sinned against THE LORD, so KILL THEM ALL!

And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book
What's the reference for that, friend? I seem to have misplaced that tag in my Bible. There are so many that Rosa confused my Bible with a feather duster!

(UNSaved folks who might read this would also be aided in their quest for Knowledge of God if you add the full book name, chapter, and verse at the beginning of each quote.)
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