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Default The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 01-20-2015, 12:10 AM

Even though I personally strangled Adolf Hitler to death with my bare hands and have been Ronald Reagan's right hand in defeating communism, I am not one to brag. Everyone knows me as a honest, humble and polite God fearing True Christian™. Unfortunately being humble seems to be a thing of the past.

Using their gayPhones people all over the world are making pictures of themselves (a.k.a. "selfies"). Instead of praising and worshipping Jesus, they are masturbating all over themselves while imagining that there are people in the world who are interested in them. The world couldn't care less. They are all sending each other pointless selfies no one is actually looking at. It's beyond pathetic. They also found a new use for the sticks they usually keep in their behinds. They glue their phones to the sticky smelly mess on the end of the sticks to increase the distance to their phones so multiple drooling idiots can be in the same pointless selfie.

All this is a total disaster. Instead of working hard to improve America, people are making selfies. Instead of winning wars for Jesus, people are making selfies. Instead of beating up gays for God, people are making selfies. I have no doubt that once these people get their well deserved death, Satan will shove those selfie sticks in their behinds with the phones still attached to them, so they can see their bodies burn in the fires of Hell from the inside. I will enjoy watching those selfies when I am at Jesus' side in Heaven. He and I will be laughing for all eternity.

Hitler would be proud:


Muslim terrorists using images of their vaginas to destroy America:


Fortunately this idiot will burn in Hell after a well deserved car crash:


Are these whores and sluts happily praising Jesus? No!


Obama, neglecting America while making selfies:


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 01-20-2015, 12:40 AM

After the next election, Brother Crank, we will have a man-of-God Republican President along with Republican majorities in the House and Senate. Finally, this country will have the moral backbone to stop masturbation selfies.

Another selfie I want banned is any taken with Obama. There must be thousands of selfies taken with him and every one makes me sick.

One thing for sure, the cell phone has increased sin in ways we never dreamed possible.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 01-20-2015, 01:48 AM

Disgusting. I saw this when I was looking for a new dash Jesus.
http://www.alibaba.com/product-detai...145224376.html
What is with these people?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 01-20-2015, 04:02 AM

That was absolutely DISGUSTING! I cannot believe anyone would defy the commands of the LORD in order to show off their hideous A-rab faces! The last picture of our Antichrist Catholic Muslim Atheist Negro Arab "President" Obummer, alongside his God-Hating Scientist friends shows the extent of the deception by the American Government to stray us away from the glorious path of GOD. I will be praying intensely on this, brothers, and I will surely support my White Christian Landowning Husband when he votes that big black bear out of office at once!
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 01-20-2015, 04:23 AM

Shesus, it would be swell if you'd hasten to the intro section and introduce yourself properly. Where do you reside? What is your congregation? What are your most exciting experiences with Jesus? Do tell.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 01-20-2015, 05:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Disgusting. I saw this when I was looking for a new dash Jesus.
http://www.alibaba.com/product-detai...145224376.html
What is with these people?
That would be a good tool for getting a look at a liberal's brain, though.


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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 02-22-2015, 03:25 AM

These selfie sticks make people so arrogant that they actually believe they can climb up to God!



Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 02-23-2015, 04:16 AM

those selfie sticks are so tacky
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 02-23-2015, 04:23 AM

why do people buy those
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 02-23-2015, 04:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheetos View Post
those selfie sticks are so tacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheetos View Post
why do people buy those
Hi, and welcome to Landover.

A few clues for you:

1) Nobody here cares what you think, if they don't know who you are.

2) Even if they know who you are, if you do not use punctuation (correctly), your posts can be easily misinterpreted. See the difference between these two sentences for an example:

- You know your shit.
- You know you're shit.

3) Lose the advertising in your sig or get banned, quickly.


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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 02-23-2015, 01:11 PM

Those selfie sticks are made in China, right? In other words, they're probably too flimsy to use for giving your child a good caning.

And I honestly can't think of any other propose they might serve.


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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 02-24-2015, 07:43 AM

What those perverts don't realize is that Jesus is watching them masturbate around the clock, 24/7/365. Jesus doesn't need an "iPhone" or an internet connection to view this filth. He is omnipresent... if there is a dong being flogged, Jesus is right there, johnny on the spot! They can't hide from Jesus...spanking it behind locked doors in the dark? Jesus'll be there with a skeleton key and night vision goggles. In the bathtub under the bubbles? Jesus'll be there in full scuba gear. On a park bench with selfie-stick in one hand and throbbing purple phallus in the other? Jesus'll be in the bushes leering with unmitigated loathing. His roving eye doesn't miss a beat, and shall leave no masturbatory act unexposed...
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 03:53 PM

You realize that the man on the car doesn't have a driving wheel and the car is on left side of the road so the driver is on the other seat. That means this was taken in a country where they drive on the other side, probably in the UK.
For what I have seen on this forum I want to congratulate you Cranky Old Man, you are one of the most dumb people on the planet,
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 04:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cristaosburros View Post
You realize that the man on the car doesn't have a driving wheel and the car is on left side of the road so the driver is on the other seat. That means this was taken in a country where they drive on the other side, probably in the UK.
For what I have seen on this forum I want to congratulate you Cranky Old Man, you are one of the most dumb people on the planet,
In your zeal to defend and advocate public masturbation, you miss the point. All this is a total disaster. Instead of working hard to improve America, people are making selfies. Instead of winning wars for Jesus, people are making selfies. Instead of beating up gays for God, people are making selfies. I share Cranky's hope that once these people get their well deserved death, Satan will shove those selfie sticks in their behinds with the phones still attached to them, so they can see their bodies burn in the fires of Hell from the inside. I hope to watch the show at Jesus' side in Heaven myself. Any self-respecting man or woman who loves freedom and loves God would.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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cristaosburros cristaosburros is offline
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 04:11 PM

You are right, America need a lot of improvement. The ban on guns is one example. Better education, so people like you don't exist is another. I don't give a piffle about Jesus. I don't know the guy, i don't own nothing to a dead man. Gay people are not the problem, people dumb like you are. Please don't have kids. Don't bring more people like you to the world.
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 04:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cristaosburros View Post
I don't know the guy, i don't own nothing to a dead man.
A.) He's not dead. He got better.

B.) He developed and executed a plan to save your sorry soul, and expects full payment for His troubles (fear and obedience, Ecclesiastes 12:13). If you refuse to comply, He has the right to torture you for all eternity.
So in fact, you owe Him your life.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Esther B. Esther B. is offline
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cristaosburros View Post
I don't give a piffle about Jesus. I don't know the guy, i don't own nothing to a dead man.
Then I hope you're looking forward to spending an eternity in Hell while Jesus and the True Christians™ laugh at you from Heaven.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 04:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cristaosburros View Post
You are right, America need a lot of improvement. The ban on guns is one example. [...]
Why dou you want a ban on guns? Do you enjoy seeing innocent people suffer from violence of (armed) attackers because they couldn´t defend themselves?

Criminals won´t be bothered by a ban. Not in the US and not in my country (where we actually have a ban to carry guns).


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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cristaosburros cristaosburros is offline
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 07:03 PM

All your arguments are strong there is no point for me to answer.
And for strong I mean bad and stupid.
You can all give me a call from heaven when you are there. I'll be in hell waiting.
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate... - 03-13-2015, 07:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cristaosburros View Post
Gay people are not the problem, people dumb like you are.
Number of gays molesting children = too numerous to count

Number of devout Christians molesting children = zero


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