The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship

General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-20-2015, 12:10 AM
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Posts: 18,160
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate...

Even though I personally strangled Adolf Hitler to death with my bare hands and have been Ronald Reagan's right hand in defeating communism, I am not one to brag. Everyone knows me as a honest, humble and polite God fearing True Christian™. Unfortunately being humble seems to be a thing of the past.

Using their gayPhones people all over the world are making pictures of themselves (a.k.a. "selfies"). Instead of praising and worshipping Jesus, they are masturbating all over themselves while imagining that there are people in the world who are interested in them. The world couldn't care less. They are all sending each other pointless selfies no one is actually looking at. It's beyond pathetic. They also found a new use for the sticks they usually keep in their behinds. They glue their phones to the sticky smelly mess on the end of the sticks to increase the distance to their phones so multiple drooling idiots can be in the same pointless selfie.

All this is a total disaster. Instead of working hard to improve America, people are making selfies. Instead of winning wars for Jesus, people are making selfies. Instead of beating up gays for God, people are making selfies. I have no doubt that once these people get their well deserved death, Satan will shove those selfie sticks in their behinds with the phones still attached to them, so they can see their bodies burn in the fires of Hell from the inside. I will enjoy watching those selfies when I am at Jesus' side in Heaven. He and I will be laughing for all eternity.

Muslim terrorists using images of their vaginas to destroy America:


Fortunately this idiot will burn in Hell after a well deserved car crash:


Are these whores and sluts happily praising Jesus? No!


Obama, neglecting America while making selfies:
__________________
The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate...
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-20-2015, 12:40 AM
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is online now
Mayor of Freehold
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 4,124
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate...

After the next election, Brother Crank, we will have a man-of-God Republican President along with Republican majorities in the House and Senate. Finally, this country will have the moral backbone to stop masturbation selfies.

Another selfie I want banned is any taken with Obama. There must be thousands of selfies taken with him and every one makes me sick.

One thing for sure, the cell phone has increased sin in ways we never dreamed possible.
__________________
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-20-2015, 01:48 AM
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is online now
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
Posts: 25,113
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate...

Disgusting. I saw this when I was looking for a new dash Jesus.
http://www.alibaba.com/product-detai...145224376.html
What is with these people?
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-20-2015, 04:02 AM
Shesus Christie Shesus Christie is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: The Heart of Dixie
Posts: 1
Shesus Christie is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate...

That was absolutely DISGUSTING! I cannot believe anyone would defy the commands of the LORD in order to show off their hideous A-rab faces! The last picture of our Antichrist Catholic Muslim Atheist Negro Arab "President" Obummer, alongside his God-Hating Scientist friends shows the extent of the deception by the American Government to stray us away from the glorious path of GOD. I will be praying intensely on this, brothers, and I will surely support my White Christian Landowning Husband when he votes that big black bear out of office at once!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-20-2015, 04:23 AM
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 1,537
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate...

Shesus, it would be swell if you'd hasten to the intro section and introduce yourself properly. Where do you reside? What is your congregation? What are your most exciting experiences with Jesus? Do tell.
__________________
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-20-2015, 05:12 AM
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pacifica, California
Posts: 7,777
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The "selfie stick" so EVERYONE can see you masturbate...

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Disgusting. I saw this when I was looking for a new dash Jesus.
http://www.alibaba.com/product-detai...145224376.html
What is with these people?
That would be a good tool for getting a look at a liberal's brain, though.
__________________
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:26 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2015 all rights reserved