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  #41  
Old 01-12-2007, 05:09 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
how can u say it is Gods favourite forum??? Where does it say that He loves the Landover Baptists more than anyone else? If im not correct i seem to recall that God loves EVERYBODY equally? And how about not just saying i am condemed to hell and actually explaining to me how i am wrong?
When you presume to tell us whom God does or does not love, please quote chapter and verse, as we trust God's statement of His views over your statement of His views. Also, please note the following:

Psalm 5:5: The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.

In other words, God does not love workers of iniquity equally with True Christians™. Now, who are the workers of iniquity?

Matthew 7:21-23: Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

That's right: Those who do not do the will of the Father in Heaven are the workers of iniquity, whom God hates. Now, at Landover Baptist Church, we follow the entire King James Bible, not just the feel-good parts, and thus do the will of the Father in Heaven. That, dear friend, is what makes this God's favorite forum.
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  #42  
Old 01-12-2007, 05:12 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
One way is definately not saying they will burn in Hell straight away. This will just detir them even more.(this i found on ur site)
Galatians 4:16: Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
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  #43  
Old 01-12-2007, 05:13 PM
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Default Re: False Religions Register

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post

Do u by any chance have anything other than a forum to communicate over?

NO

I would like to call myself Christian that is why i am trying to correct your way to the best of my abilities.

If you would like to call yourself a Christian, why not go all the way and be a True Christian™ as we are? Our Pastors are always on hand to give a Ministering to young people like yourself.


Although i may be quite young, i know that there are correct and incorrect ways to inform people of God and Salvation. One way is definately not saying they will burn in Hell straight away. This will just detir them even more.(this i found on ur site).

Our ways have been right with God since 1612. You cannot better perfection.
Why are you so brash with us?
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"Jesus Loves the little children, all the children of the world"
IS NOT BASED ON SCRIPTURE

HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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  #44  
Old 01-12-2007, 05:19 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

I don't know if you already got it but Trekkie is a false religion based on Star Trek.
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  #45  
Old 01-12-2007, 05:24 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

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Originally Posted by Silent Shadow View Post
I don't know if you already got it but Trekkie is a false religion based on Star Trek.
Well, friend, as long as they believe in the Love of Jesus Christ™ Our Saviour then that's ok.
However, I fear they do not, so their followers will also spend an eternity in Hell. Especially the one with the pointy ears and the Pie stealing Negra woman.

.....Oh and that scottish twit that keeps saying "we cannae make it Jim".
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Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.

"Jesus Loves the little children, all the children of the world"
IS NOT BASED ON SCRIPTURE

HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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  #46  
Old 01-12-2007, 05:30 PM
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Ok first of all, if there is no other means then give me some time to build up a case. Its not like i can pull it up out of thin air as i only recently stumbled on your site. I will have to ask my seniors for help on all u say. But also, there are many different ways of interpreting the Bible. And did u actually translate the NKJV Bible??? Do u know that the the first recorded Bibles where in Hebrew. If u havent studied the Bible in depth and only take it face value, many things can be taken wrongly

Also i found this http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=1482 second post, is that not using the Lords name in vein?
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  #47  
Old 01-12-2007, 06:00 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
Ok first of all, if there is no other means then give me some time to build up a case. Its not like i can pull it up out of thin air as i only recently stumbled on your site. I will have to ask my seniors for help on all u say. But also, there are many different ways of interpreting the Bible. And did u actually translate the NKJV Bible??? Do u know that the the first recorded Bibles where in Hebrew. If u havent studied the Bible in depth and only take it face value, many things can be taken wrongly

Also i found this http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=1482 second post, is that not using the Lords name in vein?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Oh sweet JESUS! That made me lose my supper!
Brother Eliot, let us ensure that no weak-minded or female members of the congregation ever see this unspeakable filth.
I need to go take a bath now.
I hope you realise I had to ask permission to get that!!
How is that taking The Lord's name in vain?
The link on the Post above that was to an Islamofacist website talking about shaving.....well....erm.....Tallywhackers (and cooters). The Pastor was merely stating his disgust.
I shall now have to go back to that site and find out .... erm ...a bit more as to why he was so disgusted.
__________________

Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.

"Jesus Loves the little children, all the children of the world"
IS NOT BASED ON SCRIPTURE

HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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  #48  
Old 01-12-2007, 06:10 PM
Deceit Deceit is offline
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Quoting the Pastor

'oh sweet Jesus. That made me lose my supper.'

and now the meaning of vain

6.in vain, a.without effect or avail; to no purpose: to apologize in vain. b.in an improper or irreverent manner: to take God's name in vain.
(from dictionary.com)
That is not improper use of the word Jesus? Why would u have to use that in a sentence? You could say something else or not include that part in it at all. Now if u say that is not using the Lords name in vain how would u clasify 'Oh my God' ? I see no respect towards Jesus in anyway by saying that.


Something puzzling about u guys, wats with the True Christians™ thingy? Are Christians trademarked or osmething?


Also, why isnt one of ur Pastors getting to this? I saw 1 online a while ago. Or must I pay for an appearance?

May not reply again, 4am over here (oh no, staying up late means im a goth :O, that dont sound a bit stereotypicial?)
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  #49  
Old 01-12-2007, 06:43 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
I would like to call myself Christian that is why i am trying to correct your way to the best of my abilities. Although i may be quite young, i know that there are correct and incorrect ways to inform people of God and Salvation. One way is definately not saying they will burn in Hell straight away. This will just detir them even more.(this i found on ur site)
Interesting choice of name. It must indicate how you'd like us to address sinners, by lying to them like your Pastor Feelgood does at church. Tell them everything's OK, and that God loves everybody . . . then when they get hit by a bus, and end up in Hell because they thought God loved everybody, it's our fault for deceiving them!

No, thank you!

We at LBC are about presenting the complete and unvarnished truth about the Bible, what it says, and who it says God and Jesus are. We are not about to play little mind games with people like the Mormon Cult, "Oh, we're your friends and family now, come, join us and everything will be groovy." No. We tell it like it is.

Tell me, "Deceit", do you have difficulty with people who tell the truth?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
how can u say it is Gods favourite forum??? Where does it say that He loves the Landover Baptists more than anyone else? If im not correct i seem to recall that God loves EVERYBODY equally? And how about not just saying i am condemed to hell and actually explaining to me how i am wrong?
It is very simple.

God wrote the Bible for humans to read and follow. It existed in many (per)versions, mostly in Greek and Latin and under the control of the idolatrous, Mary-worshipping Catholic church, until God called upon King James in 1611 to put it all in English. God supervised King James' scribes, ensuring that they provided a complete and accurate writing of His Word.

We at Landover Baptist Church read and follow ALL parts of God's Word, not just the parts we like. If you look at the roster, you'll see no "Pastor Feelgood" here.

However, most churches have Pastors Feelgood. They pick out parts of the Bible where God and Jesus are all about love and happiness and joy, and make everybody in the congregation feel good. Oooh, John 3:16! GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD! God so loves the world that He states elsewhere that the vast majority of His creation will be tortured by Him for eternity. When's the last time you saw THAT on some guy's chest at a ball game?

They leave out the fact that God created Hell. He did so for a reason: A place to torture sinners for all eternity. Why create Hell if He didn't intend to torture sinners? Do you think God loves those He calls abominations? Those He chooses to torture for eternity for their finite sins? If God loved everyone equally, why would He say otherwise in His Word? (Are you calling God a liar?)

So, we at LBC follow the ENTIRE King James Bible. Not the NEW King James, a counterfeit mutilated and rewritten by modern men to suit their depraved goals. Not the New Infidel Version, either, which is nearly identical in all its changes (including scores of omitted verses) to the abomination used by Jehovah Witnesses to deny Jesus' Divinity!

Since we, and very few others, follow the ENTIRE KJV1611, we are God's Favorite Church. We are likely God's ONLY True Church, because we've not yet found another church which follows the ENTIRE KJV1611. If you find one, let us know!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
Ok first of all, if there is no other means then give me some time to build up a case. Its not like i can pull it up out of thin air as i only recently stumbled on your site. I will have to ask my seniors for help on all u say. But also, there are many different ways of interpreting the Bible. And did u actually translate the NKJV Bible???
So . . . you "just stumbled upon our site" yet you know enough to tell us where we are right or wrong? Goodness, you're quite adept at jumping to rash conclusions, aren't you?

We do not interpret the Bible at all. The Bible is God's Complete and Perfect, Infallible Word. There is no INTERPRETING, only reading and following.

If you wish to interpret the Bible, tell me, how do you know what parts to follow and what to ignore? Your imagination? Pastor Feelgood, maybe?
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  #50  
Old 01-12-2007, 07:23 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
Ok first of all, if there is no other means then give me some time to build up a case. Its not like i can pull it up out of thin air as i only recently stumbled on your site. I will have to ask my seniors for help on all u say. But also, there are many different ways of interpreting the Bible. And did u actually translate the NKJV Bible??? Do u know that the the first recorded Bibles where in Hebrew. If u havent studied the Bible in depth and only take it face value, many things can be taken wrongly
Too bad for you then that we HAVE (and still do!) studied it in depth, while you cannot even argue a point without consulting "pastor" feelgood.

As for your theories on how we are "supposed" to tell the truth.
We will tell the Word of God like it is, as commanded.
And if people doesn't like God, that's their problem, He is going to destroy them for it.
God hates all workers of iniquity, and it is time this sinful world starts to realise!
Otherwise, they will not repent and doom themselfs to eternal hellfire!

It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7:5

The foolish shall not stand in thy sight:
Thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
Psalm 5:5




And well said, brother OYK.
That'd give the homer something to think about, no doubt.
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A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
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  #51  
Old 01-12-2007, 07:26 PM
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: False Religions Register

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
But also, there are many different ways of interpreting the Bible.
All of them are wrong. To learn about the error of presuming to interpret the Bible, please see our teachings here and here.
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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  #52  
Old 01-12-2007, 09:22 PM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

what about shadomancy (i think it is supposed to be like necromancy)
has any body else heard of it?
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  #53  
Old 01-12-2007, 09:54 PM
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Originally Posted by juggalo View Post
what about shadomancy (i think it is supposed to be like necromancy) has any body else heard of it?
SHADOWMANCY: The Satanic Art of Psychological manipulation. Witchcraft. We burn people at the stake for that sort of thing.
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Old 01-13-2007, 12:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
SHADOWMANCY: The Satanic Art of Psychological manipulation. Witchcraft. We burn people at the stake for that sort of thing.
If we haven't managed to get then at the annual Wiccan Hunt.
The 2007 event is being organised as we speak.
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Old 01-13-2007, 05:01 AM
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Default Re: False Religions Register

If u choose to take the Bible completely literally, there are many contradictions in it. And u also call everybody other than urselves sinners. Are u saying that u are not sinners urself? That u are perfect in every right? About the King James Version. None of u were alive to see him write the Bible out. There would only be recordings and such about it. I also didnt say i would lie to someone. Where did i say that? I just said it wasnt a very good way to start a conversation by saying ' You are going to Hell'.


Translation is also interpretation. There is very few times where 1 word will translate to another word exactly. Maybe u should read the Hebrew original version of the Bible and maybe u'll find that 1 Hebrew word could be translated as 3 different words and meanings in english.

Also, Why must u all stereotype people as Homers or wateva when they dont believe in what u believe? Even if they are not ur 'True Christian' or wateva they dont have to be homosexual. And they dont have to be paedophiles if they are Catholic Priests. How about some proof that all non-christians are homos?
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Old 01-13-2007, 05:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
If u choose to take the Bible completely literally, there are many contradictions in it. And u also call everybody other than urselves sinners. Are u saying that u are not sinners urself? That u are perfect in every right?
The BIBLE tells us in 1st John 3:6-9, 1st John 5:18, and a few other places that we are incapable of sinning.

Quote:
About the King James Version. None of u were alive to see him write the Bible out. There would only be recordings and such about it. I also didnt say i would lie to someone. Where did i say that? I just said it wasnt a very good way to start a conversation by saying ' You are going to Hell'.

Translation is also interpretation. There is very few times where 1 word will translate to another word exactly. Maybe u should read the Hebrew original version of the Bible and maybe u'll find that 1 Hebrew word could be translated as 3 different words and meanings in english.
GOD HIMSELF directed King James and his scribes in 1611 when the KJV was written. The KJV 1611 BIBLE is HIS perfect word.

Quote:
Also, Why must u all stereotype people as Homers or wateva when they dont believe in what u believe? Even if they are not ur 'True Christian' or wateva they dont have to be homosexual. And they dont have to be paedophiles if they are Catholic Priests. How about some proof that all non-christians are homos?
It is a known fact that those who are not Christian have no morals as all morals come from GOD. It is also a known fact all cat-o-lick preists love boy buggering.
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Old 01-13-2007, 05:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
If u choose to take the Bible completely literally, there are many contradictions in it. And u also call everybody other than urselves sinners. Are u saying that u are not sinners urself? That u are perfect in every right? About the King James Version. None of u were alive to see him write the Bible out. There would only be recordings and such about it. I also didnt say i would lie to someone. Where did i say that? I just said it wasnt a very good way to start a conversation by saying ' You are going to Hell'.
To the best of my knowledge, tape recorders and video recorders weren't available in 1611.

Yes, you did say you would lie to someone. A lie of omission is the same as a lie of commission. Failing to tell the whole truth is lying.

And we only tell people they are going to Hell when it is crystal clear that's what they're doing. Such as, "Hi, my name is ClownBoy, and I like to sodomize other boys and eat babies." ClownBoy is going to Hell.

"Hi, my name is Goomba, and I worship Isis. I just came here to tell you that." Yep, Goomba is going to Hell.

Know what else? Neither Goomba nor ClownBoy is here to do anything other than disrupt God's Favorite Forum and attempt to prevent our success in our mission to share the unvarnished Truth about what the Bible says, and who the Bible tells us God and Jesus are.
Quote:
Translation is also interpretation. There is very few times where 1 word will translate to another word exactly. Maybe u should read the Hebrew original version of the Bible and maybe u'll find that 1 Hebrew word could be translated as 3 different words and meanings in english.
I'm sure it could. But had you looked at any of the links we gave you, you'd see that King James was called upon and his scribes supervised by God to ensure that the correct words were put down in God's Perfect Bible. There is no need for interpretation when God tells you what to write.
Quote:
wateva . . . wateva . . . Catholic priests/pedophiles
The actions of the hierarchy in the Catholic Church -- decades of shuffling priests from parish to parish while they seduce and/or rape altar boys -- indicates that the Catholic Church considers pedophilia acceptable.

If they didn't consider it acceptable, would they not excommunicate those priests? Look up how many have been shuffled about. Use Google, since then you will know we haven't "contaminated" the data with our Christian ways.
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Old 01-13-2007, 10:19 AM
Deceit Deceit is offline
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Where exactly does it say that God was watching over King James as he was translating the Bible into english? It doesnt say anything about that in the 2 links u gave me. Why must u also only use this version of the Bible? If u were True Christians, u would look back at the very original Bible. The very first Bible, with no translations watsoever.

Romans 3 9-12
No one is Righteous


If u want to pull 1 liners from the Bible we will be here forever. How about doing a little research about King James?

'At least 80% of the King James New Testament is unaltered from Tyndale's translation.' From Wikipedia.org

Nothing about ur pastor using the Lords name in vain either?
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  #59  
Old 01-13-2007, 10:32 AM
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
Where exactly does it say that God was watching over King James as he was translating the Bible into english?

All real Biblical scholars agree that was the case. And JESUS has told me, personally.

It doesnt say anything about that in the 2 links u gave me. Why must u also only use this version of the Bible? If u were True Christians, u would look back at the very original Bible. The very first Bible, with no translations watsoever.

Not at all. The first Bible was buggered up by the Demon scum catlickers and their AntiChrist Pope who worships SATAN!

Romans 3 9-12
No one is Righteous

TRUE CHRISTIANS™ are.

If u want to pull 1 liners from the Bible we will be here forever. How about doing a little research about King James?

What do you want to know about him?

'At least 80% of the King James New Testament is unaltered from Tyndale's translation.' From Wikipedia.org

What's your point? The fact that 20% is different merely proves the catlicks changed it and GOD had to came back and correct it. Which He did in ENGLISH, by the way.


Nothing about ur pastor using the Lords name in vain either?
Don't be silly.
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Old 01-13-2007, 10:41 AM
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SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
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Originally Posted by Deceit View Post
Romans 3 9-12
No one is Righteous
You obviously doesn't understand what that means.
YES, nobody is righteous WITHOUT Jesus.
But if nobody was righteous, not even with Jesus, nobody would go to Heaven.

Read Romans 3 a bit more and you might understand:
Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:
For all have sinned (HAVE sinned, as in past sense), and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 3:22-23

We are made righteous by faith in Jesus, without Jesus we are lost. (John 14:6)
Yet if we truly accept Jesus, we will be righteous.
Because one who accepts Jesus cannot sin! (1 John 2:3)

Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood,
to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, (once again, sins that are PAST) through the forbearance of God;
Romans 3:24-25
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