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  #21  
Old 09-22-2006, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by lilith View Post
So...Mrs R? Is it true that's because TC men believe that proximity to cleaning products will cause...um..vital..bits of their anatomy to drop off?
No, it is because God so ordered it.

Leviticus 15:19 And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. 15:20 And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.
15:21 And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:22 And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:23 And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.
15:24 And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean. Sex with menstruating women
A man who has sex with a menstruating woman "shall be unclean seven days." But in Lev.20:18 God says that such a man and his menstruating partner "shall be cut off from among their people." Which is the correct punishment?
15:25 And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean.
15:26 Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.
15:27 And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:28 But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean.
15:29 And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
15:30 And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness.
15:31 Thus shall ye separate the children of Israel from their uncleanness; that they die not in their uncleanness, when they defile my tabernacle that is among them.
15:32 This is the law of him that hath an issue, and of him whose seed goeth from him, and is defiled therewith;
15:33 And of her that is sick of her flowers, and of him that hath an issue, of the man, and of the woman, and of him that lieth with her that is unclean.


I assume every True Christian female has this section of the Holy Bible committed to memory.
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  #22  
Old 09-22-2006, 03:25 PM
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So...Mrs R? Is it true that's because TC men believe that proximity to cleaning products will cause...um..vital..bits of their anatomy to drop off?
Why would any real man go near anything so effeminate as household cleaning products? Assuredly you must notice the sorry house keeping the all male crews of those Ukrainian ships you “visit”.
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  #23  
Old 09-22-2006, 04:29 PM
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Why would any real man go near anything so effeminate as household cleaning products? Assuredly you must notice the sorry house keeping the all male crews of those Ukrainian ships you “visit”.
So true, Brother. Cleaning, doing dishes, etc. is women's work. God created women to be submissive and to serve men and cleaning and all that is part of being submissive.

Colossians 3:18: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
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  #24  
Old 09-22-2006, 06:21 PM
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I've already tithed the chaperone fee ($200) via paypal, when Pastor Pistle gets here we'll organize something.
Are we going on a date?! Oh my God I haven't been on a date since....wow....since MK! I have to see if Thumper will go shopping with me for a proper dress to wear. I could also bring you some cherry pie if you'd like.

Moon
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Old 09-23-2006, 11:44 PM
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Are we going on a date?! Oh my God I haven't been on a date since....wow....since MK! I have to see if Thumper will go shopping with me for a proper dress to wear. I could also bring you some cherry pie if you'd like.

Moon
I took the liberty of sewing you this lovely little number.



The purple will compliment your dark hair. I'm going to have to give you a good shampooing and of course give you a hair style to flatter the dress before you go out.

How did the pies turn out?

With love, Sister Thumper
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  #26  
Old 09-25-2006, 08:20 PM
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I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!!!!

*hugs Thumper*

Oh sister thumper thank you so much! You know how much I LOOOOVE flower designs! Did you make the cute little bonnet too??


Now to find shoes for that adorable little dress...

Moon

PS - The pies are in the fridge. Mikey hasn't responded yet...I'm sure SS scared him away.
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:09 AM
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PS - The pies are in the fridge. Mikey hasn't responded yet...I'm sure SS scared him away.
I like pies
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:18 AM
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Well, what kind do you like, love? I made Key Lime, Cherry, Apple, Peach Cobbler, and a yummy Chocolate Fudge Pie. If you'd like I could just bring a sampler??

So...when should we get together?? *blushes* Sister Thumper was kind enough to make me a beautiful dress to wear. *blushes even more*

Ok, I gtg, my tummy hurts....

*runs away*
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:28 AM
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Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
Well, what kind do you like, love? I made Key Lime, Cherry, Apple, Peach Cobbler, and a yummy Chocolate Fudge Pie. If you'd like I could just bring a sampler??

So...when should we get together?? *blushes* Sister Thumper was kind enough to make me a beautiful dress to wear. *blushes even more*

Ok, I gtg, my tummy hurts....

*runs away*
Moon I have organized a chaperone from the Church, we can meet at the Church Cafeteria, I have a temporary pass for you. This Saturday sound good? (Any pie you like will be fine I like them all)
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:41 AM
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Moon I have organized a chaperone from the Church, we can meet at the Church Cafeteria, I have a temporary pass for you. This Saturday sound good? (Any pie you like will be fine I like them all)
Awww man...I gotta wait till Saturday? We could always go to Bible Study together, I don't break out in cold sweats or vomit anymore at the sight of a Bible, so I think that would be perfect!

With all her love,
Moon

PS - you only bought one pass for me??
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:46 AM
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Awww man...I gotta wait till Saturday? We could always go to Bible Study together, I don't break out in cold sweats or vomit anymore at the sight of a Bible, so I think that would be perfect!

With all her love,
Moon

PS - you only bought one pass for me??
Well I'm at Bible Study when I'm not out hunting vermin or ministering to homers you know where to find me

I'll see if any of the homers I minister to have any cash on them, I might be able to buy you another pass to come to Church. Unless you have an extra $400 on you.
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:47 AM
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Brother Mike, forewarned is forearmed. When Moon was my daughter we did some DNA testing and (makes sure no one is listening)

she is part Venezuelan.
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:50 AM
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Brother Mike, forewarned is forearmed. When Moon was my daughter we did some DNA testing and (makes sure no one is listening)

she is part Venezuelan.
I though I was..... Cuban
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:52 AM
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Brother Mike, forewarned is forearmed. When Moon was my daughter we did some DNA testing and (makes sure no one is listening)

she is part Venezuelan.
Ewwwwww...

She will have to tithe extra for that.
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Old 09-26-2006, 01:01 AM
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MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Mike View Post
Well I'm at Bible Study when I'm not out hunting vermin or ministering to homers you know where to find me

I'll see if any of the homers I minister to have any cash on them, I might be able to buy you another pass to come to Church. Unless you have an extra $400 on you.
Hunting?.... As long as I don't see them dead, it's ok. I'll pass by the church. I'd hate for you to have to borrow money from the homers...or ME. Don't you worry your cute little TC head...I'll show up and bring food so we could have a little picnic.

With all her love,
Moon

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Originally Posted by Brother_Mike View Post
Ewwwwww...

She will have to tithe extra for that.
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Last edited by MoonFlower; 09-26-2006 at 01:05 AM.
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  #36  
Old 09-26-2006, 01:15 AM
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Brother_Mike Brother_Mike is offline
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Brother_Mike is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

See you there
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  #37  
Old 08-31-2007, 08:24 PM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

I just thought I would bump this thread. I've seen a lot of unsaved whores on the board lately and I'm sure they could use this information.

Lve, Sister Thumper
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  #38  
Old 09-01-2007, 01:06 AM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

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Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
Like I've said a million and one times before...I SHAVE ALL MY BODY HAIR (except for my head) TO PREVENT FLEAS. And, just in case you haven'ty heard...I TITHE TO LANDOVER EVERY SUNDAY (if not Pa'daddy will come to my Sycamore and beat me silly).

So, now that I tithe AND shave, what's my next move Mikey? I'm already going to start my Bible Studies® and Healings® with Lar baby.

Moon
Ewww you get fleas in your body hair? EW.

Anyways, any woman who thinks like this is degrading herself.
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  #39  
Old 09-01-2007, 01:14 AM
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SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

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Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
Ewww you get fleas in your body hair? EW.

Anyways, any woman who thinks like this is degrading herself.
Yeah.. I suppose you want women to be masculine looking, buff, and hairy all over:
So you cannot notice that it's actually a woman and not a man unless she takes off her clothes.
Jesus pukes at your depravity!

Gender confusion is straight from satan!
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A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
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Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 09-01-2007 at 01:14 AM.
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  #40  
Old 09-01-2007, 08:56 AM
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Poison__x Poison__x is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

I didn't say there was something wrong with shaving, in fact, I prefer it. I simply was commenting that you have low personal hygiene if you get fleas in your body hair.
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