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  #41  
Old 09-01-2007, 09:44 AM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post


I didn't say there was something wrong with shaving, in fact, I prefer it. I simply was commenting that you have low personal hygiene if you get fleas in your body hair.
Notice that Mr Salvation wrote ...

Quote:
Jesus pukes at your depravity!
Jesus pukes first ... we puke later ... that's because we try to do everything Jesus wants, just as He wrote it in the Bible ...

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1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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  #42  
Old 09-02-2007, 04:16 AM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

A good Wife KNOWS her place!

And remember, a good spanking or slap upside of the head maybe required to keep her in line.



Ladies, please post your ideas and comments on what makes YOU a good True Christian™ Wife.

Helpful, Sister Thumper
This is great! I know God has almost perfected me in this area. I do most of these things and a little extra. I pretty much starve myself to make sure the kids and darling husband are fed before me. I even put his dinner on his plate and serve it to him and open his pop. I insist that he never learns how to use a microwave. After all, his day was way harder than mine. I make sure he has all 50 remotes close by his hands with his dinner. After that I clean up the kitchen while I throw a scrap of food in my mouth, I rub his feet and make sure his clothes are layed out for the next day.

I know not to talk first because no matter the good or the bad that happened in my day - his day was way more important and can always top my stories off! After he is done punching the clock it is his right to kick back and do what he wants. My job is only 24 hours a day with no break. It is even okay if he goes out with the guys a couple times a week. I just need to make sure I have dinner ready and warmed up at midnight when he comes home. I always need to be ready whenever he is in the mood. That would be 24/7 and that is scriptual because one of those books in the bible said that the women's body is not her own.

It is pretty simple really. It is just learning how to communicate and listen to the needs of your husband. Who cares about me. I am Proverbs 31 woman and damn proud. Any questions?
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  #43  
Old 09-02-2007, 11:04 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

I'm proud to say that I've never even sliced an apple. Never made a pot of coffee. Never even picked up a broom, except to confiscate them during our annual witch hunt.

Which proves conclusively that I am NOT gay.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #44  
Old 09-02-2007, 05:58 PM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
I didn't say there was something wrong with shaving, in fact, I prefer it. I simply was commenting that you have low personal hygiene if you get fleas in your body hair.
She is a wiccan and part-Venezuelan to boot. Those people don't know what hygiene is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'm proud to say that I've never even sliced an apple. Never made a pot of coffee. Never even picked up a broom, except to confiscate them during our annual witch hunt.

Which proves conclusively that I am NOT gay.
Praise! It is a fact that in Iran and North Korea, all the men are forced to do the washing-up all day long. Men who voluntarily do housework are traitors to America and Freedom.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #45  
Old 09-02-2007, 11:19 PM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

I'm proud to say that I've never even sliced an apple. Never made a pot of coffee. Never even picked up a broom, except to confiscate them during our annual witch hunt.
Good for you, Pastor Zeke! After all, you have so many important and Godly activities planned for your day, you would hardly have time for the lowly tasks of everyday life.

Quote:
Which proves conclusively that I am NOT gay.
Of course you're not, Pastor, who in their right minds would even think such a thing!
__________________
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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  #46  
Old 09-03-2007, 02:34 AM
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Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Ever heard of spitting the work? I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past year, and we simply spit the work. If he's over my house, I cook and clean for him. If I'm over his, he cooks and cleans for me. Simple as that. A man needs to know how to do for his girlfriend/wife, if she does for him. *nod nod*
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  #47  
Old 09-03-2007, 03:11 AM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Ever heard of spitting the work?
No I have not. Can you please explain what spitting the work means, clean and sober. Thanks.
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  #48  
Old 09-03-2007, 03:55 AM
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Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

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Originally Posted by Seeker View Post
No I have not. Can you please explain what spitting the work means, clean and sober. Thanks.
I meant splitting. My keyboard's all messed up cause of my little cousin... She spilled juice on it.
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  #49  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:23 AM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

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Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
I meant splitting. My keyboard's all messed up cause of my little cousin... She spilled juice on it.
Are you sure it was not Vodka...... Still waiting for you to explain. I am not a feminist because that would go against the word of God.
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  #50  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:29 AM
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Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

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Originally Posted by Seeker View Post
Are you sure it was not Vodka...... Still waiting for you to explain. I am not a feminist because that would go against the word of God.
I'm sure it's juice, I was there.
What I mean is that, in the relationship I'm in with my boyfriend right now, we split the work. He does some, I do some. And he's never "put me in my place" or anything like that. He knows that if he ever tries to lay a finger on me in a malevolent way, he's going home severely injured. Our relationship is 50/50, like any normal relationship should be.
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  #51  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:34 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Our relationship is 50/50, like any normal relationship should be.
There is nothing normal about a Man doing women's work, unless you are referring to the cultural standards of hell.

Try reading the Holy Bible to find out what Jesus wants you to do, Hop-Sing.

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

1 Timothy 2:11-15
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #52  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:44 AM
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Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
There is nothing normal about a Man doing women's work, unless you are referring to the cultural standards of hell.

Try reading the Holy Bible to find out what Jesus wants you to do, Hop-Sing.

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

1 Timothy 2:11-15
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.
How about......... No. He doesn't mind doing housework or cooking or gardening, and I don't mind doing more traditionally masculine things. It's a trade off. We wouldn't have it any other way. It's perfect. If we had our way, I'd carry the kid 4 and 1/2 months and he'd carry it 4 and 1/2 months.
I love my relationship with him. Can't say the same for most of the Landover ladies...
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  #53  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:46 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
How about......... No. He doesn't mind doing housework or cooking or gardening, and I don't mind doing more traditionally masculine things. It's a trade off. We wouldn't have it any other way. It's perfect. If we had our way, I'd carry the kid 4 and 1/2 months and he'd carry it 4 and 1/2 months.
I love my relationship with him. Can't say the same for most of the Landover ladies...
So your boyfriend is a fag in other words. Disgusting.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #54  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:51 AM
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
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Location: Rolling up a Katamari
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
So your boyfriend is a fag in other words. Disgusting.
*buzzer sound*
Wrong again!
Riddle me this, Zeke. If he is male, and I am female, and we are in a consensual relationship... How does that make him gay?
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  #55  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:54 AM
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
*buzzer sound*
Wrong again!
Riddle me this, Zeke. If he is male, and I am female, and we are in a consensual relationship... How does that make him gay?
If he does housework and wants to carry a baby in his gut, how does that make him a normal man? I mean come on.

Your guy is a sissy, and you turned him into one. I bet he likes to wear your frilly underthings too.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #56  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:54 AM
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Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
*buzzer sound*
Wrong again!
Riddle me this, Zeke. If he is male, and I am female, and we are in a consensual relationship... How does that make him gay?
As a feminazi bull-dyke, you barely qualify as female. I bet you even wear trousers!
__________________
Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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  #57  
Old 09-03-2007, 04:56 AM
Seeker Seeker is offline
Thank you Pastor Pistle!
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
I'm sure it's juice, I was there.
What I mean is that, in the relationship I'm in with my boyfriend right now, we split the work. He does some, I do some. And he's never "put me in my place" or anything like that. He knows that if he ever tries to lay a finger on me in a malevolent way, he's going home severely injured. Our relationship is 50/50, like any normal relationship should be.
Tell that to the judge. A little vodka mixed with juice never did anybody no harm..

I am still confused... You say he has never "put you in your place" and also..then you make it sound like he could be abusive or something. (if you stood up to him)

I sure hope for that wonderful 50/50 thing. You did explain it so well and thank you!
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  #58  
Old 09-03-2007, 05:00 AM
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Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
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BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Posts: 376
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
If he does housework and wants to carry a baby in his gut, how does that make him a normal man? I mean come on.

Your guy is a sissy, and you turned him into one. I bet he likes to wear your frilly underthings too.
Nah. He just likes giving me time to relax.
He's no sissy, either. He's on the baseball team of our school, so I'm pretty sure you have to have strength and agility to do that...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
As a feminazi bull-dyke, you barely qualify as female. I bet you even wear trousers!
I do wear pants, but only because it can get really cold here. I'd rather not have wind and rain going up my skirt. I do own some though.
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  #59  
Old 09-03-2007, 05:02 AM
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Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
I do wear pants
Case closed!
__________________
Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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  #60  
Old 09-03-2007, 05:14 AM
Seeker Seeker is offline
Thank you Pastor Pistle!
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Default Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife

I must have pissed someone off because of the color change.

Thanks..
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