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#21
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The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
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#22
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Pies deserve to be stolen because they're on windowsills. Next he'll be saying that white women deserve to be raped for the crime of being white and women. |
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#23
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LOL @ this thread.
Forgive me, believers--perhaps it is the Devil who speaks: But, why can't you let your pies cool on the kitchen table? I don't understand. You lock your doors to keep unwanted visitors out at night, don't you? It's the same with pies. Cool your pies indoors. Putting your pies on the 'sil...leaves great potential for 'pie-stealing'! Anyone who bakes pies should be so cautious... Plus, think about it: Letting pies cool in the window...? I mean---there's no telling how many flies or bees will get on it! ...and anyway my daddy never stole pies... Where'd this whole black people steal pies thing come from? |
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#24
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No-one knows where the black tradition of pie-thievery came from. It definitely experienced an upsurge in the 1960s, as the rise of first the Civil Rights movement, and then the more radical Black Nationalist groups like the Nation of Islam encouraged ever more shameless acts of piethievery, but it'd certainly been around for a long time before that. I've heard stories of an "underground railroad" existing in the 19th Century, that provided ex-slaves up in Canada with the white folks' pies to which they had grown accustomed, but I think that's just a myth.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen. God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity. |
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#25
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Who Will Jesus Damn? Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses: Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8) Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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#26
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In the good old days if we could catch 'em stealing we could String-em up from the old Oak Tree. Nowadays It's a bit different.
The Bible tells us in Exodus: Exodus 22 If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him. If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be blood shed for him; for he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft. Now, this looks to me like if you catch the Pie Stealer and he can't replace that one Pie with 5 (or 4 if It's a Lamb casserole) then you can whip him (shed blood). Then if you still get no joy you can sell him into Slavery. AND GOD SAYS IT'S OK! Praise HIM©
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Sister Talitha Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither. The Landover Baptist Woman's Association (Landover Ladies) Campaign Against Women's Suffrage HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41 |
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#27
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Still LOL @ this thread.
Brother Temperance if there was a surge in pie-thievin' in the 60's how can we be so certain that black folks were behind it? It was strange and turbulent times. If anything these pies could have been easily planted among random black people by the CIA... ![]() Likewise wild tales of pie-thievery could have easily been concocted by the govt. ...it has long been talked about within the black community--this Pie-Thievin' Conspiracy... ![]() Pastor Ezekial, yes I am some parts black. My father is black and hispanic. Yes I am lighter-skinned...around the singer Beyonce's shade. ...and no--I've never smoked crack or drank beer a day in my life. I've never worshipped Allah either. My family are all devout Baptists. |
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#28
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Quote:
Tie a yellow pie thief up the old oak tree its been three long years with no parole If I don't see a pie thief in that old oak tree I'll stay on the bus forget about us then blame hillary If I don't see a pie thief in that oooooollld ooooaaak treeeeeeeee. (mom and dad listened to Jim Nabors, too. Shoot me) vw
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Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. |
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#29
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I would think a maple, or a sycamore, or a poplar would be better...Oaks don't have nice thick horizontal-growing branches.
vw
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Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. |
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#30
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I love this picture because it shows that, above all else, racism and its practitioners are just STUPID. Take that, racists!
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Sick of the Obullsh!t
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