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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 01-16-2013, 09:55 PM

I understand that self-abuse is very wrong in the eyes of Jesus so I will quit right as of todaymorrow

Quote:
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1 Corinthians 6:18


Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51
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Red face Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-10-2013, 05:10 PM

I have been fighting Satan for many years to avoid the lust to masturbate, so I was lucky and my Wife guided me to use a chastity device where She holds the key and only lets me out when She can make use of me. I feel I am so luck to have my wife and She will never let me sin again.
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-10-2013, 05:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by chasteboy View Post
I have been fighting Satan for many years to avoid the lust to masturbate, so I was lucky and my Wife guided me to use a chastity device where She holds the key and only lets me out when She can make use of me. I feel I am so luck to have my wife and She will never let me sin again.
Well Praise Jesus! I LOVE to hear a happy story like that!

Welcome to our friendly forums.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-10-2013, 10:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Well Praise Jesus! I LOVE to hear a happy story like that!

Welcome to our friendly forums.

I was a little concerned by the tone of that post from Mr Chasteboy, wondering whether he was perhaps from Swaziland, so quickly checked and found:



I am praying about this now, Mrs Etheldreda.
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 01:34 AM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Well Praise Jesus! I LOVE to hear a happy story like that!

Welcome to our friendly forums.

Thank you for that friendly reply, is there a thread to introduce oneself here at the forum?
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 01:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
I was a little concerned by the tone of that post from Mr Chasteboy, wondering whether he was perhaps from Swaziland, so quickly checked and found:



I am praying about this now, Mrs Etheldreda.
- i did not say She did it with electricty - it was my swedish brother, praise be to him, who used that kind of device, and i must say it made me rather curious. Today there is election in the swedish church and i do look forward to it. Praise Lord Jesus for the day I found this forum and for the well being of all its members of the true faith.
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 01:45 AM

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Originally Posted by chasteboy View Post
Thank you for that friendly reply, is there a thread to introduce oneself here at the forum?
Start a thread of your own in the Introduction Forum.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 02:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
I was a little concerned by the tone of that post from Mr Chasteboy, wondering whether he was perhaps from Swaziland, so quickly checked and found:



I am praying about this now, Mrs Etheldreda.
Dear Sister of true faith in the LordJesus, Swaziland? I have never been to Africa at all. I was in Israel once and walked in the footsteps
Of the Lord. I wll pray for you sister, follow in his steps and do not throw the stones and make judgement of people you have no knowledge of.
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 02:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by chasteboy View Post
Of the Lord. I wll pray for you sister
Why, bless your heart.

Good luck with that.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 02:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by chasteboy View Post
Thank you for that friendly reply, is there a thread to introduce oneself here at the forum?
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 03:31 AM

I would love it more than anything to join. Masturbating reminds me of the scary, Christ-less life that I once lived. I want to become a member to prove to myself that I am above sin in every way possible, and to share with the world how filthy masturbation is.

Pleasure does not need to come from oneself if you receive all of the pleasure that you need by praising Him and knowing that by not doing this disgusting act, you are one step closer to Heaven.
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-16-2013, 04:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Well Praise Jesus! I LOVE to hear a happy story like that!

Welcome to our friendly forums.

Well friendly forums ? I have never experienced hostility like this - ever ! It explains quite a lot - I mean to expressing so little acceptance for all other than so called Americans ? I am glad I was skeptic to US before and now it is confirmed!!! Praise the Lord I have found truth !
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-17-2013, 02:05 AM

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Originally Posted by chasteboy View Post
Well friendly forums ? I have never experienced hostility like this - ever ! It explains quite a lot - I mean to expressing so little acceptance for all other than so called Americans ? I am glad I was skeptic to US before and now it is confirmed!!! Praise the Lord I have found truth !
No, hostility would be if we let you go right along to hell without first warning you of your sins and trying to get you to man up and repent of them (see Ezekiel 3:18). We have tried to teach you the unadulterated, no-nonsense truth on the sin of fapping, and yet after a nice admission of your problem, you turn your sticky-fingered hands right around and bite us for reaching out to you.

Typical unchurched sinner, ungrateful and too much of a sissy to fess up to the need for making REAL changes for a better life.

Pastor Ed



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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-17-2013, 09:00 AM

Hello Friends, It's been over 30 years since I've beaten my sin meat and within those years I've planted my seed into my wife and she has spewed forth 7 sons and 1 daughter. I am truly blessed although if truth be told I would be a lot happier if my wife had just given me 8 boys instead of birthing that walking sin meat

God Bless
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-18-2013, 07:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Cole View Post
Hello Friends, It's been over 30 years since I've beaten my sin meat and within those years I've planted my seed into my wife and she has spewed forth 7 sons and 1 daughter. I am truly blessed although if truth be told I would be a lot happier if my wife had just given me 8 boys instead of birthing that walking sin meat

God Bless
Amen, friend. I just give all my daughters up for adoption and keep the sons. If I had kept them, I would be swimming in menstrual blood by now. My home is a farm and I don't need it filled with livestock.

Once one of the little whores called me up after hiring a private detective to find out who her real parents were. I agreed to meet her at a park. Instead of walking up to her, my sons and I hid in the bushes and videotaped her crying as it slowly dawned on her that I wasn't going to show. I posted it on youtube until she began making death threats and I had to get a restraining order against her. I believe she killed herself last spring. One less whore of Satan to corrupt God's children.


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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-18-2013, 07:39 AM

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Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Amen, friend. I just give all my daughters up for adoption and keep the sons. If I had kept them, I would be swimming in menstrual blood by now. My home is a farm and I don't need it filled with livestock.

Once one of the little whores called me up after hiring a private detective to find out who her real parents were. I agreed to meet her at a park. Instead of walking up to her, my sons and I hid in the bushes and videotaped her crying as it slowly dawned on her that I wasn't going to show. I posted it on youtube until she began making death threats and I had to get a restraining order against her. I believe she killed herself last spring. One less whore of Satan to corrupt God's children.

A truly inspirational story Brother Billy, When my daughter was 7 I 'accidentally' left her behind at a walmart, It took her three days to make it back home as the shop I left her in was in another town. She hasn't been the same since, All i could get out of her was something about a bathroom stall at a truck stop

God Bless
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-18-2013, 07:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Cole View Post
A truly inspirational story Brother Billy, When my daughter was 7 I 'accidentally' left her behind at a walmart, It took her three days to make it back home as the shop I left her in was in another town. She hasn't been the same since, All i could get out of her was something about a bathroom stall at a truck stop

God Bless
Let us pray that she was raped, in order that a man may be compelled by God's law to marry her. I hate for any woman to wander aimlessly without the guidance of a man and the salvation of childbirth.
Quote:
Deuteronomy 22:28-29
King James Version (KJV)
28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;

29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
Quote:
1 Timothy 2:15
King James Version (KJV)
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.


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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-18-2013, 08:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Let us pray that she was raped, in order that a man may be compelled by God's law to marry her. I hate for any woman to wander aimlessly without the guidance of a man and the salvation of childbirth.
She is now 13 and still bears no child, I'am currently looking for a suitor. My eldest Son has purposed we send her out alone into the streets in high hopes she is raped, therefore forcing her into marriage and out of my house hold
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 10-21-2015, 06:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
I have been very concerned about the amount of masturbation "M" threads here and the amount of "M" talk that goes around in this Satan filled World.

All True Christians know you will go to HELL for it and unsaved trash thinks it is "cool".

I wanted to do something to make a stand against "M'ing" and wanted to make a subtle statement that says it isn't cool and yet doesn't mention the "M" word.

So, folks I came up with this T-shirt. Hands off! This shirt will quietly and confidently set you apart from HELLBOUND "M'ers". When you see another True Christian with this T-shirt on in a crowded mall or even in another State while on vacation you will instantly know that he or she is part of the Anti-M club AND a True Christian (you can also give them a knowing wink because you will know you are part of thisv ery special HEAVENBOUND elite club ).

I have a feeling this T-shirt will really take off among the young adults.

Place your orders today.

SIZE:
__ XL (Qnty___) ____ L (Qnty___) M____(Qnty___) S___(Qnty___)

(Please keep in mind that these will be made in Brother Worthington's Malasian factory and may run small or contain lead.)


Please PM me with your Credit Card information and any special shipping instructions.
's Birthday is right around the corner. Be sure and order yours today for that special someone.

BLESSINGS!
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 10-21-2015, 08:07 PM

I'm extra large


Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
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