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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

View Poll Results: What can a woman do besides you know what?
She can check the oil in her car? 3 1.11%
She can balance the checkbook? 1 0.37%
She can be rational during an emergency? 12 4.43%
She can find her #@$&! car keys. 2 0.74%
All she's good for is you know what! 197 72.69%
She knows how to follow rules! 16 5.90%
She stays out of Promise Enforcers, where she isn't allowed to post!!! 9 3.32%
She can pee sitting down and scarcely ever misses the bowl. 14 5.17%
Spend three-quarters of her waking life in the bathroom doing her hair. 17 6.27%
Voters: 271. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10-05-2006, 01:19 AM
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Default Women's Brains? - POLL

I still can't understand what's wrong with a woman's brain. But I thought we men might be able to compare notes and figure out if women are good for anything besides you know what.
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:29 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

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Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
I still can't understand what's wrong with a woman's brain. But I thought we men might be able to compare notes and figure out if women are good for anything besides you know what.
You mean cooking?
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:41 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You mean cooking?
OK, so I left that off, but you don't want to give them too much ammo. So be careful about moaning and groaning over her pot roast.
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  #4  
Old 10-05-2006, 02:20 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

I chose the emergency one because it seems to be the only nice one there.
Horrid men.
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:11 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I chose the emergency one because it seems to be the only nice one there.
Horrid men.
I'd like to know how many times a day your husband gives you a beating, because you certainly deserve them.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #6  
Old 10-05-2006, 04:27 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You mean cooking?
Oh, is that what the "good for you know what" option means? I'll vote for that then.

I thought it might be code for gardening, but I didn't think the young lady Elmer posted looked much like a gardener, what with those lovely nails.
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  #7  
Old 10-05-2006, 04:42 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'd like to know how many times a day your husband gives you a beating, because you certainly deserve them.
Well, if you're talking about a certain type of beating
Men who beat their wives are barbaric is what I mean!

Quote:
Oh, is that what the "good for you know what" option means? I'll vote for that then.

I thought it might be code for gardening, but I didn't think the young lady Elmer posted looked much like a gardener, what with those lovely nails.
Umm..they mean the act that leads to baby making Mrs Rogers.
Which might explain Pastor Al's answer.
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:02 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Umm..they mean the act that leads to baby making Mrs Rogers.
Do you mean getting married in church to the man your father sold selected for you and then PRAYING for GOD to send you children?
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Old 10-05-2006, 06:57 AM
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Do you mean getting married in church to the man your father sold selected for you and then PRAYING for GOD to send you children?
No, I'm talking about what the previous Mrs Pistle would have been trying to avoid every time she told you she had a headache.
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:18 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

I thought it meant cleaning.
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5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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  #11  
Old 10-05-2006, 07:25 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
No, I'm talking about what the previous Mrs Pistle would have been trying to avoid every time she told you she had a headache.
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!
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  #12  
Old 10-05-2006, 01:30 PM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Women are equally intelligent but the society sometimes suppresses them. Many famous scientists and inventors were women.

But, of course, my favourite women's quality is the one Elmer meant.
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:30 PM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

... And it's not cooking...
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  #14  
Old 10-05-2006, 01:46 PM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by robert12345 View Post
Women are equally intelligent but the society sometimes suppresses them. Many famous scientists and inventors were women.

But, of course, my favourite women's quality is the one Elmer meant.
Are you a fag or something? You couldn't be more wrong. There is not one important invention or accomplishment that women can claim in the entire history of mankind. The Holy Bible is quite clear on the status of females and what they are good for.

Quote:
Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
The only major event they can lay claim to is ruining it for all mankind by doing the one thing that God told them NOT to do. Typical female.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #15  
Old 10-05-2006, 02:59 PM
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!
I always thought you were something of a godly stud on the side Pastor.

My own (Now dear departed) Husband certainly had nowhere near the stamina that God has given you. In fact, it would take practically all night to get even a few seconds of performance.
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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Old 10-05-2006, 10:13 PM
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SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

So women actually have brains..?

I guess you learn something new everyday.
I've always thought a womans head was mostly ornamental.
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  #17  
Old 10-05-2006, 10:42 PM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!
Hadn't she been given a healthy dose of valium at the time?
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Old 10-05-2006, 11:44 PM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!
3 whole minutes?

What a man!
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  #19  
Old 10-06-2006, 03:40 AM
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Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Rachael Van Gossips View Post
Hadn't she been given a healthy dose of valium at the time?
Mrs.Hellsinger, that were nothin but a viscous rumor, it not true that Mrs.Pistle tooked that vali-yum an dieds an Mr.Pistle not able to tell the differince between live Mrs.Pistle an dead Mrs.Pistle for 2 whole weeks even when he dids the lurvin nasty wiv her

so now you no the truths
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Last edited by Petal; 10-06-2006 at 03:41 AM. Reason: liddle tiny typo
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  #20  
Old 10-06-2006, 04:25 AM
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL

Actually, I just heard he gave her enough to keep her still and co-operative.

Didn't the good Pastor say that the unfortunate Mrs Pistle met her end in an unfortunately (and oddly) placed woodchipper?
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