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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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  #1  
Old 12-18-2013, 09:29 AM
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Default What is this AIDS thing?

I keep reading in here about the AIDS. What is it?
As I explained in my introduction, my dear husband who would never visit my bed died a short time back. You may remember that he spent all his time with his fellows from the Bendover Baptist Church. Now I was told he died of the AIDS, but no one ever explained to me what this AIDS is. And now I keep reading about it here. Can any of you good people help me out here?
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Old 12-18-2013, 10:04 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

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Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
I keep reading in here about the AIDS. What is it?
As I explained in my introduction, my dear husband who would never visit my bed died a short time back. You may remember that he spent all his time with his fellows from the Bendover Baptist Church. Now I was told he died of the AIDS, but no one ever explained to me what this AIDS is. And now I keep reading about it here. Can any of you good people help me out here?
It is a acronym for Arse Injected Death Sentences as it affects queers (who's main reason for being is the anal sex).

As Gay is an acronym for Got AIDS Yet?

It enhances the weakness of spirit that all the gaywise have (this is why they lisp and mince). They become such pansies that they don't have the manliness to fight off a cold; much less father a child or run a business.

God's wrath, right there, ma'am.

God bless.
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Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Old 12-18-2013, 10:23 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

It sounds Japanese.

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Old 12-18-2013, 10:27 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

My dear departed husband couldn't have been queer! He married me! Is this true? Anyone else? No, no, no
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Old 12-18-2013, 10:53 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
My dear departed husband couldn't have been queer! He married me! Is this true? Anyone else? No, no, no
I'm sorry to have to break this to you but he could well have been a stealth gaywise.

They look and act just like normal people but you can tell.

Did he ride a bicycle, drink bottled water or go to the gym?

But rejoice, if he was a homer he will be in the Lake of Fire, paying for his deception for all eternity!

Glory!
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Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:21 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
I'm sorry to have to break this to you but he could well have been a stealth gaywise.

They look and act just like normal people but you can tell.

Did he ride a bicycle, drink bottled water or go to the gym?
Yes, yes and yes! All of those!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
But rejoice, if he was a homer he will be in the Lake of Fire, paying for his deception for all eternity!

Glory!
How dare he! I hope Satan does dreadful things to his dangly bits. Razor blades, or piranhas sound fitting. Filthy, disgusting creature. An abomination to the Lord.
I may have to seek solace with my lady friends - they will comfort me. They always did when he refused to come to my bed.
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  #7  
Old 12-18-2013, 03:30 PM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
I may have to seek solace with my lady friends - they will comfort me. They always did when he refused to come to my bed.
Dear Irene, I am so sorry to hear of your faggoty late husband. But if he was indeed a gay (sure sounds like he was!), then rest easy as Dr. Niles is certainly right ... Satan is buggering that deceitful homer with a barbed pitchfork as we speak!

I suspect that my ex-husband might have been a homersexual too. He rode a bike, went to the gym, AND drank bottled water! There was that one time when I walked in on him fornicating with my Korean friend, So-Yun, right there in our marital bed, but that might have been a ruse to throw me off his gaywise scent. Unless So-Yun was one of those cross-dressing "He-She's" ... oh my!! Anyway, you can never trust those slanty Orientals.

I pray your lady friends are good, upstanding Christian women who will comfort you with Scripture and pie. Nothing beats the compassion of the Great Comforter Himself (Jesus!), but a slice of pie, still warm from the oven and presented with a Godly woman's kindly touch, definitely ranks up there.

Oh, I will also pray that God sends you a True Christian husband so that you can start bearing little Soldiers for Christ, post haste!
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:06 PM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

IreneS--One positive thing you can take from your husband's AIDS is to become active against it.

Landover Baptist Church is the gold standard in battling the sin of homerism. No other church in the U. S. or anywhere in the world fights to eliminate it like we do.

We call out homers among clergy, politicians, atheletes and entertainers. I'm especially proud of our work to name homers in professional football.

If we can keep this up, men like your former husband will be cured of homerism before they contract AIDS.

God bless you in your struggle with your past.
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Old 12-19-2013, 03:34 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. Means the body is much more susceptible to life-threatening infections, cancers and neurological disorders. Carried by gay men.
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Old 12-19-2013, 03:40 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oceans676 View Post
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.
Nah... that sounds so weird. Dr. Niles' version is correct. He is a True Christian Man™, after all.

Quote:
Means the body is much more susceptible to life-threatening infections, cancers and neurological disorders. Carried by gay men.
You mean, given by God to all gay men.

I don't get it, why men chose this lifestyle knowing that God will kill them and send them to Hell for it?
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Old 12-19-2013, 04:22 PM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

I know what AIDS is, what I don't understand is how gays are so turned on by it.
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Old 12-20-2013, 01:42 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

If these records were in the husband's collection, then the homosexuality had surely progressed to a point where it took hold, and there's no doubt about it.

I am sorry for your loss (of True Christianity™ )

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Old 12-20-2013, 05:35 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
If these records were in the husband's collection after 1985 then the homosexuality had surely progressed to a point where it took hold, and there's no doubt about it...
FTFY.

Back in the day, owning and pretending to like Culture Club, Bananarama and Wham! was necessary for getting with a lot of the ladies, you know? I'm not proud.

Linda Ronstadt, though, that would raise questions.
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Old 12-20-2013, 08:37 PM
Oceans676 Oceans676 is offline
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Nah... that sounds so weird. Dr. Niles' version is correct. He is a True Christian Man™, after all.

You mean, given by God to all gay men.

I don't get it, why men chose this lifestyle knowing that God will kill them and send them to Hell for it?
I absolutely agree he is correct! That's just the 'name' it was given by weird atheists who cannot accept the Truth. I also wonder that same thing. I guess they can't accept the True Words of our Lord.
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Old 12-20-2013, 10:37 PM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
I know what AIDS is, what I don't understand is how gays are so turned on by it.
You aren't a fully fledged member of the "gay community" if you don't have the aids. They throw "conversion parties" with the single purpose to spread the aids from "gift givers" to newcomers. It's like a initiation ceremony. They also hope a HIV-positive certificate will provide them easier access to state welfare.

HTH
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Old 12-20-2013, 11:20 PM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

The AIDS is a fag disease that was caused by peverts piffling monkeys.
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Old 12-25-2013, 10:46 AM
Chester Longshire (Quarantined) Chester Longshire is offline
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

AIDS is God's way to smite sodomites and drug users.

If every man and woman stays away from premarital drug use, anal sex and kissing there would be no AIDS.

Problem solved.
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Old 01-04-2014, 02:43 AM
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Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Wow! Any guy that thinks another guy is better than a woman is twisted indeed. Nasty! Not only defying God but defying the basics of nature. You salad shooters just creep everyone out. Promoted by the democrats to populate their army of misfits and sinners. Seriously, I hope you pickle puffers get your thoughts straight before your time runs out.
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Old 01-04-2014, 02:44 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 75,153
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What is this AIDS thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovethekingofkings View Post
Wow! Any guy that thinks another guy is better than a woman is twisted indeed. Nasty! Not only defying God but defying the basics of nature. You salad shooters just creep everyone out. Promoted by the democrats to populate their army of misfits and sinners. Seriously, I hope you pickle puffers get your thoughts straight before your time runs out.
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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