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#31
10-18-2007, 11:37 PM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
Currently I'm investing in a giant crockpot. I always enjoy the taste of wiccans when SUV cooks them slower. Much more flavorful.
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#32
10-19-2007, 04:33 AM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
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The cross and the sword are symbols for important aspects of Christianity, fool. But only a cathylick would ask a dumb question like this, as whenever you see a cross - you cannot see it without imagining something attached to it. Usually Jesus Himself. But Jesus ain't on no cross no longer, He died for our sins ONCE, He doesn't keep on dying every day as you papists like to claim. Get that through your head. 
__________________
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it. A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing. Proverbs 9:12-13
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#33
10-19-2007, 10:11 AM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
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__________________
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen. God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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#34
10-20-2007, 01:44 AM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
At the risk of wasting good wiccan long-pig, when the hunt has been plentiful, I recommend just throwing most of the witch to the dogs and pigs, but save the fingers for this delightful recipe...
Deep-Fat-Fried Witches Fingers Italian salad dressing 3 tbsp. flour 2 tsp. salt 2 tbsp. butter, softened 3 c. salad oil 1 c. milk 1 1/2 c. pancake mix combined with 1 tsp. paprika, 1/2 tsp. sage, and 1/4 tsp. pepper Marinara sauce Wipe witch fingers dry (I like to paint the nails). Make paste of next 5 ingredients. Brush to coat fingers evenly. Heat 2 inches of oil in 9 inch pot to 425 degrees. Dip pieces in milk, then in pancake mix, coating well. Dust off excess. Lightly brown about 4 minutes each side. Serve with marinara sauce.
__________________
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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#35
10-20-2007, 07:14 PM
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Chef Lees 4 course Wiccan Dinner Planner
This delightful series of dishes was submitted by my Event Management Consultant and bicycle repair specialist, Manuel "lee" Esteban. Of course depending on whether your feeding 4 or 4 thousand, it still beats plain old loaves and fishes...
1st Course: Feed your live and unbutchered wiccan an infusion of parsley and thyme, and allow this to circulate for a while until slaughtering takes place. I suggest 5 days, but no less than 2 days, and plenty of water to flush out the digestive system. This is easy to accomplish with a bit of planning, and it helps to have a couple of Wiccans 'in lockdown' in case extra company turns up. The wiccans skull should be prepared around ½ an hour before the meal by sawing around the perimeter & tying the major blood vessels to avoid unsightly blood at the table, local anaesthetic can be applied to the smaller vessels for the same purpose. As the brain feels no pain it is preferable to allow the wiccan to live through this procedure so they can be served as fresh as possible at the table. BEGIN Brown some charante butter in a copper saucepan to make a beurre-noisette, once the butter and butter fat has reached a hazelnut colour set aside on your trivet. Next scoop out portions of the pre-frontal lobe for each of your guests and set in iced lemon water, the acidity and chilling helps to firm the portion. Caution is needed to prevent the portions turning to a lumpy gelatin type consistency (others prefer to press and chill brain overnight to prevent this, but I think it is much better served fresh). After chilling for 5-10 minutes dredge your wiccan brain in a light seasoned flour and some fresh brioche crumbs. Add some fresh black truffle, charlottes and a dash of lemon to the beurre-noisette, then over high heat sauté the brain till it browns on each side. Serve with the sauce from the pan, broad croutons & a garnish of parsley and whole caper berries (with stem) and perhaps a watercress or nasturtium blossom. 2nd Course: The wiccans Pancreas & Liver (the sweetbreads) can be prepared in a delicious Ragout, Just take a few glasses of a quality claret, add some sweet herbs & some savoury spices, then toss through your wiccan’s pancreas & liver with maybe some light vegetables & truffles over a low heat. Next add brown butter and allow to reduce for a while. This dish is best cooked at the table to allow your guests to savour the full aroma of the claret and spices as they cook, and be quite a nice point of conversation as you enjoy the company of True Christians over a glass of wine. 3rd Course: A delicious 3rd course can be made by ‘spit roasting’ the remaining parts of the wiccan, which can be quite fun if you get your guests involved. I recommend that you start the preparation immediately after the first course, to allow for cooktime, though some quick butchering is now required. 1st remove the sweetbreads so your 2nd course can be cooked, then remove the arms so they don’t flop about your spit bbq and cause distraction, the arms are usually a bit tough from all that mystical gesturing, mistletoe cutting and wand waving anyway (please note your wiccan will probably expire whilst these steps are made, so be sure to mark the occasion - I prefer a crisp Coopers pale ale, although pilsener is equally acceptable). Next bind the open skull & arm sockets with fresh banana leaves and bush lemons and tying off with rosemary and lemongrass, this is to allow the blood to boil within its wicken vessel to better cleanse before consumption. Now comes the fun part; you and your guests can take turns hammering a stake through the wiccans remaining cranium, so the stake ends up between it’s feet. Bind the feet to the stake using rosemary and lemongrass, then place on the spit over medium heat coals. Try to keep the heat lower around the head area to avoid burning the cheeks. For a decorative touch chop through the short ribs & pull the lungs out through the back then flatten them out like wings, this is great mark of showing the removal of evil wicken and the birth of an angel, a sign of your commitment to god. A roast vegetable dish of your choice should also be served with this main course. Allow your wiccan to roast whilst you and your guests enjoy the 2nd course. It will take a little over an hour on good coals so be sure to keep your guests entertained in the meantime… a slideshow of your latest trip to the holy land is ideal, (or perhaps a Wiccan Pinata can be created for the children, if any, make sure that candy is well wrapped though!) When the wiccan is ready for carving, some of the best parts are the tongue and cheeks so, in true Christian etiquette, save these for the ranking church official, head guest or man of the house, if you haven’t overcooked them that is! The thighs and fertility organs also make good eating, though care should be taken not contaminate with body parts designed for excretions. Basically any meat off the bone is great, though some muscles can be a little tough. The heart will be quite rare, though it is quite a delicacy, so I normally like to finely slice it and toss it through a crisp salad with lettuce, rocket, beetroot leaves, red onion, capsicum & croutons to allow everyone to enjoy it. Add fresh finely chopped chilli to taste and a dash of good virgin olive oil. 4th Course / Dessert: I recommend a hazelnut chocolate fondue, using fruit and some of the leftover sweet meats from the wiccan. Alternatively you can dip small portions of the spit roasted wiccan meat in lemon and sugar, before serving them with the fondue to add a desert flavour. Place the fondue pot in a steamer, then add hazelnut chocolate, so it can melt over a slow, very slow heat. Serve at table over a low burner or a few candles with the cold meats & fruit.
__________________
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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#36
10-20-2007, 07:17 PM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
Hazelnut chocolate fondue?!?!?!? Are you trying to make me gag?
__________________
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University. "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him". Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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#37
10-20-2007, 08:18 PM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
Quote:
__________________
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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#38
10-20-2007, 08:36 PM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
Wiccan breast-milk Blue Cheese steak sauce
1/4 lb. butter 1/4 lb. witchs breast milk blue cheese 2 tbsp. chives or chopped shallots Blend all ingredients together over low heat; do not boil. Cover the steak with a lot of freshly ground pepper and spoon lots of the hot sauce over the steak
__________________
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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#39
10-20-2007, 09:13 PM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
You know...remind me to never, ever, eat anything that was cooked by a TC™
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#40
10-20-2007, 09:14 PM
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Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here
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If you plan on serving witch steak ( Yum yum - I'm a sucker for a tender breast cut) with witch cheese sauce, be very careful..... Exodus 23:19; 34:26;and Deuteronomy 14:21 prohibit the boiling of young in their mothers milk. (At no time can a kid be boiled in its mother's milk however one is able to 'side-step' this by keeping seperate milking and eating wiccans, or encourage neighbours to cooperate). Bon Apetite!
__________________
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.
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