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Default Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-20-2007, 12:35 PM

Well, the secular world may be shocked at THIS news, but we True Christians™ sure aren't. Pastor Deacon Fred, Pastor Pistle, and all of us pastors at Landover have been warning you all from the pulpit about the horrors and perversions of Harry Potter. Now, at last, the feminazi God mocker who forced this hellish vision upon the world has admitted publicly that Dumbledore is a sodomite, and therefore Harry Potter was his personal bitch.

Quote:
J.K. Rowling outs Hogwarts character

NEW YORK - Harry Potter fans, the rumors are true: Albus Dumbeldore, master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts, is queer. J.K. Rowling, author of the mega-selling fantasy series that ended last summer, outed the beloved character Friday night while appearing before a full house at Carnegie Hall.

After reading briefly from the final book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," she took questions from audience members.

She was asked by one young fan whether Dumbeldore finds "true love."

"Dumbeldore is gay," the author responded to gasps and applause.

She then explained that Dumbeldore was smitten with rival Gellert Grindelwald, whom he defeated long ago in a battle between good and bad wizards. "Falling in love can blind us to an extent," Rowling said of Dumbledore's feelings, adding that Dumbeldore was "horribly, terribly let down."

Dumbledore's love, she observed, was his "great tragedy."

"Oh, my god," Rowling concluded with a laugh, "the fan fiction."

Potter readers on fan sites and elsewhere on the Internet have speculated on the sexuality of Dumbeldore, noting that he has no close relationship with women and a mysterious, troubled past. And explicit scenes with Dumbeldore already have appeared in fan fiction.

Rowling told the audience that while working on the planned sixth Potter film, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," she spotted a reference in the script to a girl who once was of interest to Dumbeldore. A note was duly passed to director David Yates, revealing the truth about her character.

Rowling, finishing a brief "Open Book Tour" of the United States, her first tour here since 2000, also said that she regarded her Potter books as a "prolonged argument for tolerance" and urged her fans to "question authority."

Not everyone likes her work, Rowling said, likely referring to Christian groups that have alleged the books promote witchcraft. Her news about Dumbeldore, she said, will give them one more reason.
We don't need any extra reasons, you unGodly Whore of Babylon! There is a special place in hell for the likes of you!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-20-2007, 04:03 PM

While it is obvious that the authentic "Hogwarts" collage is nothing more than the nest of sodomites (the name give it away). The fact that a major character is a homer is no surprise. I suppose popular slang will soon make "Dumbeldore" a description of some disgusting act.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-20-2007, 05:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well, the secular world may be shocked at THIS news, but we True Christians™ sure aren't. Pastor Deacon Fred, Pastor Pistle, and all of us pastors at Landover have been warning you all from the pulpit about the horrors and perversions of Harry Potter. Now, at last, the feminazi God mocker who forced this hellish vision upon the world has admitted publicly that Dumbledore is a sodomite, and therefore Harry Potter was his personal bitch.



We don't need any extra reasons, you unGodly Whore of Babylon! There is a special place in hell for the likes of you!
I have always said Dumbledore was a fag, and was grooming Harry Potter throughout these sick books for homosexual rape. Now we have proof of it! We all know ALL homosexuals abuse children, and know that in the books this sicko showed an unhealthy interest in Harry, enouraging him to perform oral sex on a dog in the book 'Goblet of Fire' (though this part was cencored by the author before publication)

And now the witch Rowling ADMITS that Dumbledore was a screaming queer, finally the truth of that the Headmaster of a Satanic school in charge of children was a fag and a pedophile! This shows just how sick this Rowling really is!

We were quite pleased when we learned Dumbledore died in the second last book, before the anal child rape of the Potter boy continued. Halleluja!
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-20-2007, 05:51 PM

So now witch covens will finally have the excuse they've long been waiting for to sink to the level of the depravities of the catlick "church". Eating Christian babies wasn't enough for them, huh? Now they get to sodomize them first.
When will America open its eyes and see what's happening? We need to recriminalize witchcraft and sodomy and make them both capital crimes as God commands!


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-20-2007, 06:32 PM

The Name is self-explanatory; how could anything named "Dumbledore" ever possibly be Straight?!
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-21-2007, 12:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
The Name is self-explanatory; how could anything named "Dumbledore" ever possibly be Straight?!
After rearranging 'dumbledore' the magickal incantation 'lubed rod em' appears.
An obvious reference to his intentions towards the children.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-21-2007, 12:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Guy View Post

After rearranging 'dumbledore' the magickal incantation 'lubed rod em' appears.
An obvious reference to his intentions towards the children.
Let's hope there is finally an end to these sinful Harry Potter stories! We can't have homers like Dumblestumble rubbing off on innocent children anymore!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-21-2007, 12:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Noddy View Post
Let's hope there is finally an end to these sinful Harry Potter stories! We can't have homers like Dumblestumble rubbing off on innocent children anymore!
Exactly Sister. I wouldnt want to find any of my children emulating old 'backdoor dumbledoor's homo erotic fantasies. It would break my heart to have to kill them, but rules is rules...


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-21-2007, 02:51 AM

Those book always mentioned that Dum Dum and Potter were unusually close. And so much of the story happening in bath rooms. I guess that large tub in the prefects bath, large enough for several boys, was really used.
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Default Re: Not News: Dumbeldore Was A Queer! - 10-22-2007, 02:57 AM

It seems like Rowling isn't satisfied with just making God angry with her witchcraft and now she has to add gay characters. Next thing you know she will go back and edit her first book so that there is a transexual character and beastiality.
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Angry JoKer Rowling reveals: - 10-22-2007, 04:13 AM

News flash!!!


Just heard over the TV.
Guess what JKR has sprung?
Look it up yourselves. Am disgusted.




They'll all worship her now for sure.









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Default Re: JoKer Rowling reveals: - 10-22-2007, 04:37 AM

Here. Real easy to find. Gah.
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Default Re: JoKer Rowling reveals: - 10-22-2007, 04:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
News flash!!!


Just heard over the TV.
Guess what JKR has sprung?
Look it up yourselves. Am disgusted.




They'll all worship her now for sure.









We were the first to know. We have reporters who follow her around waiting for the chance to start a bonfire.

Do try to keep up.


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: JoKer Rowling reveals: - 10-22-2007, 05:02 AM

All I know is that I don't keep news like this to myself; I tell the world the very minute ! that I hear something.

Deflated

PP


---

edit:

Just now, a bump and banging atop the roof. So I am reporting that too. Expect it's a coon. Maybe a couple.
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Default Re: JoKer Rowling reveals: - 10-22-2007, 03:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post

edit:

Just now, a bump and banging atop the roof. So I am reporting that too. Expect it's a coon. Maybe a couple.
Get out of there at once brother!!!

If you have Negros on your roof you'd better call the police!

*Praying for your safety*

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please protect Poetic Peter from the Ebony Menace™ that is currently trying to work it's way into his household.

I pray that you send a minimal version of Sodom and Gomorrah's fire and brimstone, on his roof that only kills that adumbral annoyance.

Thanking you in advance. Your ever so humble servant
V


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Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: JoKer Rowling reveals: - 10-22-2007, 07:56 PM

Thank you Pastor Pistle Ezekiel for merging my former stand-alone thread with Pastor Zeke's scoop of the year.
I really was a day late. I did search for the terms of course:

rowling professor homer ; found nothing.


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Thank you Brother V, you're a pious man among us.

Animals. Report in verse, Southern die-elect:


Dey wuz two little coons scamperin' da roofs.
Bang an' da fall an busted golden toofs.

Gonna have two
fuzzy night
caps now.

Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 10-22-2007 at 11:47 PM. Reason: name misspelled
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