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  #21  
Old 01-30-2011, 11:41 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Thank you for your support, Mr. Student. I am sure that the majority would not know whether they had been molested or not. There were about 20,000 there with one of the 5 dance areas attracting the majority of (virtually nude) sex perverts gyrating in such close proximity to one another that you couldn't tell they wouldn't know what it was..

This is outdoors, and there are "fire-sprinklers" sprinkling overhead most of the time to prevent heat exhaustion. The weather was quite pleasant though - it only got up to about 42°C - and these wretches didn't seem to sleep for days on end. But I was able to chase them with my offers of modest clothing, accompanied by my friends who were all clad in ankle-length white debutante gowns. Much more appropriate, we thought. But rather conspicuous as it turned out under ultraviolet lights and laser beams, of which there were many.

Brother Temperance is an inspiration to us all. No wonder Satan mocks. We take that as a compliment.

EXODUS 32
6
And they rose vp early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings: and the people sate downe to eate and to drinke, and rose vp to play.
7 And the Lord said vnto Moses, Goe, get thee downe: for thy people which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, haue corrupted themselues.




This is just the sort of environment
where Mattel could get rid of some
of their less savoury products..
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  #22  
Old 04-14-2011, 06:23 PM
Jasco69 Jasco69 is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Nice work, Nice work. Is Anal Sex ok with a women?
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  #23  
Old 04-14-2011, 11:36 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasco69 View Post
Nice work, Nice work. Is Anal Sex ok with a women?
As for me, no sex is ok because I am single, and in fact - as seems necessary to be mentioned frequently, the debauched nature of heathen libertines being what it is - the activity is not one that ever occurs to me at all.

If you have any wives or other species whom you were planning to sodomise Mr. 69, then I really think you should discuss the matter somewhere else or preferably contact the Pastoral Team.

If you are trying to revolt me, be funny or attract the attention of some lamé clad nancy boy you are
  1. unsuccessful
  2. not
  3. in the wrong place

If you are female I would refer you to Colossians 3:5 and suggest you contact one of the deaconesses





n o t h i n g
is worse than a

lamé Elvis .
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  #24  
Old 04-15-2011, 12:27 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasco69 View Post
Nice work, Nice work. Is Anal Sex ok with a women?
Fortunately for you, circumstances have led me to notice your post. My name is Billy Bob, and I can tell you everything you need to know about anal sex.

First of all, having anal sex makes you gay, whether you do it with a man or a woman. Only homers want to ejaculate inside of someone's anus.

Second of all, having anal sex causes AIDS and anal warts, in both parties. You don't want to have your rectum removed with an ice cream scooper by some gay friendly surgeon, do you?

Third, anal sex damages the ozone layer. Burning feces caused by friction releases methane into the atmosphere and causes global warming. Ironically, hippies and environmentalists have more anal sex than any other demographic, except for queers of course.

Fourth, God forbids sodomy, and will send you to Hell for having anal sex.

Deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.

2 Kings 23:7 And he[Josiah] brake down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the LORD, where the women wove hangings for the grove.

Isaiah 3:9 The shew of their countenance doth witness against them; and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves.


Jude 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

If you have any further questions about the evils of anal sex and other quasi-gay behavior, feel free to ask.
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  #25  
Old 04-15-2011, 08:30 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Ironically, hippies and environmentalists……
……also consume vast quantities of nitrous oxide




about 310 times
more powerful than
carbon dioxide on a
per molecule basis
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  #26  
Old 04-15-2011, 09:13 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Second of all, having anal sex causes AIDS and anal warts, in both parties. You don't want to have your rectum removed with an ice cream scooper by some gay friendly surgeon, do you?

Third, anal sex damages the ozone layer. Burning feces caused by friction releases methane into the atmosphere and causes global warming. Ironically, hippies and environmentalists have more anal sex than any other demographic, except for queers of course.
im sorry billy but i have to disagree. there is no proof that AIDS is caused by anal sex. in fact, there is more "proof" that anal sex is a conspiracy by the CIA to take out the blacks and gays. Which I guess for your beliefs is an amen to your church, considering blacks and gays are evil right?

and burning feces does damage the ozone. But if you care so much about the enviroment, then why are you anti-bicycle?

but i will agree, hippys are gay.
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  #27  
Old 04-15-2011, 09:55 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by photoquig View Post
there is no proof that AIDS is caused by anal sex..
source please
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  #28  
Old 04-15-2011, 11:04 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by photoquig View Post
im sorry billy but i have to disagree.
That's "Billy Bob".

Quote:
there is no proof that AIDS is caused by anal sex.
Then how do queers acquire it? From listening to Lady Gaga?

Quote:
in fact, there is more "proof" that anal sex is a conspiracy by the CIA to take out the blacks and gays. Which I guess for your beliefs is an amen to your church, considering blacks and gays are evil right?
I have no patience for racism, boy. Take that back and apologize to the whole forum, now.

Quote:
and burning feces does damage the ozone. But if you care so much about the enviroment, then why are you anti-bicycle?
Having anal sex with a bicycle causes just as much damage to the ozone layer.

Here is a thread that my wife prepared under my instruction, if you have need of any further information.

(BTW, thanks to sister Believer in God for the Bible Verses in that thread.)
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  #29  
Old 04-18-2011, 11:54 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
If you have any wives or other species whom you were planning to sodomise Mr. 69, then I really think you should discuss the matter somewhere else or preferably contact the Pastoral Team.


If you are trying to revolt me, be funny or attract the attention of some lamé clad nancy boy you are
  1. unsuccessful
  2. not
  3. in the wrong place
If you are female I would refer you to Colossians 3:5 and suggest you contact one of the deaconesses





n o t h i n g
is worse than a

lamé Elvis .

Nope, purely an honest question, wondered what folks opinions on the subject was.
Re; Anal sex causing AIDS, well first there's an important distinction to be made. HIV (a virus) causes AIDS (a condition).
HIV is a sexually transmitted virus, this means that BOTH Anal and vaginal intercourse can spread the virus. People practicing Anal sex are at more risk as, regardless of the rights or wrongs of it, The anus isn't designed for sex, meaning damage is more likely to occur. This allows, one way or another for the infected partner to pass it to the uninfected one.
hope none of that is offensive, again not my intention
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  #30  
Old 04-19-2011, 12:24 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Dear Friend,

As a fellow AIDS educator, you may find useful a short instructional ditty I wrote on the topic.

Yours in Him,
BAB
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  #31  
Old 04-19-2011, 08:29 PM
Jasco69 Jasco69 is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Thanks for that born again bob, thought provoking
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  #32  
Old 09-21-2011, 11:23 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Shout GLORY!! Thank you, Jesus, for sparing Brother Temperance's poop chute!

I've been preaching for years that the KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible is the ONLY TRUE Word of God.
Aint the original bible without translations more accurate then KJV? Just wondering as you take the words very litteraly.
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  #33  
Old 09-21-2011, 11:26 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Aint the original bible without translations more accurate then KJV? Just wondering as you take the words very litteraly.
Friend,

God is all powerful and all knowing. God wouldn't allow the translation of The Bible to be messed up.
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  #34  
Old 09-21-2011, 11:29 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

They're both equally accurate, since God Himself supervised the translation. Satan tried to sabotage the King James Bible, but God was too smart for him.


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  #35  
Old 09-21-2011, 11:39 PM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Friend,

God is all powerful and all knowing. God wouldn't allow the translation of The Bible to be messed up.
WHAT! Are you saying that God spoke to King James scholars that translated the Bible so they could translate it properly, but not to the others that have translated the bible? Now why would he do that if he doesn't allow the translation to be messed up? Would have been so much easier if he just helped out on all the translations Or just made sure it was in a language that wouldn't die out shortly after..

But I guess Satan did that. *sob*
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  #36  
Old 09-21-2011, 11:42 PM
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Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is online now
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Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
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Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
WHAT! Are you saying that God spoke to King James scholars that translated the Bible so they could translate it properly, but not to the others that have translated the bible? Now why would he do that if he doesn't allow the translation to be messed up? Would have been so much easier if he just helped out on all the translations Or just made sure it was in a language that wouldn't die out shortly after..

But I guess Satan did that. *sob*
Instead of being a sarcastic ass, you should try reading the links that Brother Temperance provided. It's all explained in the Chick Tract.

YiC,

Z. Smyth
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  #37  
Old 09-21-2011, 11:47 PM
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
WHAT! Are you saying that God spoke to King James scholars that translated the Bible so they could translate it properly, but not to the others that have translated the bible? Now why would he do that if he doesn't allow the translation to be messed up? Would have been so much easier if he just helped out on all the translations Or just made sure it was in a language that wouldn't die out shortly after..

But I guess Satan did that. *sob*
If He'd guided them the second time round, they'd just have produced two identical versions, which would just have been a waste of everyone's time. Do you think it's a good idea to make God waste His precious infinite time?
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #38  
Old 09-21-2011, 11:59 PM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
It's all explained

YiC,

Z. Smyth
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Yes it is in science classes at school that you seem to have missed out on.
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  #39  
Old 09-22-2011, 04:08 AM
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Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is online now
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
 

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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
Posts: 13,048
Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
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Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Yes it is in science classes at school that you seem to have missed out on.
They are teaching about the shenanigans the catlick church pulls in SCIENCE CLASS these days?????

Glory, glory, GLORY!!!



Friend, you just made my day! Looks like we are finally starting to make some progress in this country.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
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  #40  
Old 09-22-2011, 03:38 PM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.andreas.karlssson is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Naah, they are teaching the real truth, not this stuff
I know it might be hard for you to realize that always done everything you can to ignore all the evidences but sorry..
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