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  #41  
Old 09-22-2011, 11:18 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Shout GLORY!! Thank you, Jesus, for sparing Brother Temperance's poop chute!

I've been preaching for years that the KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible is the ONLY TRUE Word of God.
Aint the original bible without translations more accurate then KJV? Just wondering as you take the words very litteraly.
To what exact "original Bible" do you refer? Can you point to it?
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  #42  
Old 09-24-2011, 05:03 AM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by Bible Student View Post
To what exact "original Bible" do you refer? Can you point to it?
The one God wrote? that KJV is translated from? :O
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  #43  
Old 09-24-2011, 05:15 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
The one God wrote? that KJV is translated from? :O
Here's my sermon on how to tell which bible version is the one true version.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #44  
Old 09-24-2011, 05:21 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
The one God wrote? that KJV is translated from? :O
The KJV 1611 is not only as good as the original manuscripts, it is better!

There are three "translations" spoken of in the Bible. In all three cases, the translation referred to is better than the original. Since we accept the Bible as our final authority in all matters of faith and practice, the Bible's "practice" will have more authority than any "mere human" opinion.

The first "translation" found in Scripture is found in II Samuel 3:7-10:

And Saul had a concubine, whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah: and Ishbosheth said to Abner, Wherefore hast thou gone in unto my father's concubine?
Then was Abner very wroth for the words of Ishbosheth, and said, Am I a dog's head, which against Judah do shew kindness this day unto the house of Saul thy father, to his brethren, and to his friends, and have not delivered thee into the hand of David, that thou chargest me to day with a fault concerning this woman?
So do God to Abner, and more also, except, as the LORD hath sworn to David, even so I do to him;
To translate the kingdom from the house of Saul, and to set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beersheba.

After the death of King Saul in I Samuel 31, Abner, who had been the captain of Saul's army installed Ishbosheth as King instead of David (II Samuel 12:8,9). Later Ishbosheth and Abner had a falling out. Abner, in anger, announces to Ishbosheth that he is going to "translate" the Kingdom of Israel from Ishbosheth to David.

It is obvious by Abner's statement of II Samuel 3:9 that the LORD wanted David to be king over all twelve tribes of Israel. Therefore, the "translation" of the kingdom of Israel to David was BETTER than the "original" state which has a split kingdom with David rightly ruling over one portion and Ishbosheth wrongly ruling over the other section.

The second "translation" found in Scripture is found in Colossians 1:13:

Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:

Here the "translation" spoken of is the conversion of a lost sinner to a new life in Jesus Christ. No one in their right mind could even pretend that this translation is not a massive improvement over the "original" condition.

The third "translation" found in Scripture is found in Hebrews 11:5:

By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.

The word "translate" only appears five times in scripture. Once in II Samuel, once in Colossians and the remaining three times here in Hebrews 11:5.

A Christian with even a shallow knowledge of the Bible is familiar with the story of Enoch from Genesis 5. Enoch walked with God and is known to have pleased God. He was a prophet (Judges 14) and a man of faith. God saw fit to physically take Enoch to Heaven so that he would not have to experience death. This individual action is a miniature version of what Christians call "The Rapture," mentioned in I Corinthians 15, I Thessalonians 4, Titus 2 and various other places in the Bible. Since the word "Rapture" appears nowhere in Scripture, a more proper name for this future occurrence might be "The Blessed Hope" (Titus) or "The Catching Up" (I Thessalonians) of "Our Translation" (Hebrews).

It is obvious that Enoch's translation was an improvement over his original condition.

Thus we see that every "translation" in our final authority on all matters is an improvement over the original.

If you are a simple Bible believer you will have no trouble accepting this. If you worship education or just hate to be wrong, you will reject this Bible Fact as easily as you have rejected every Bible Fact that you couldn't agree with.

Now which will you follow son, the Bible or men?
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And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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  #45  
Old 09-24-2011, 05:37 AM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Well as you keep saying, its a translation, so either its a translation, and then it should be as similar to the original as possible, or its a new scripture. and if its a translation then the original bible that it got translated from obviously it cant be better.. Also, if God popped up to help the translators King James ordered to translate the bible then they should be heathens? cause some people here on the forums have told me that God doesn't change his mind(even though he do in the bible) so the original bible that God wrote FIRST must be the best one.. From what you people have told me at least

And I will follow facts and truth, if you can show me real proof(not only scriptures from a book) then we can talk about bible facts ¨_^
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  #46  
Old 09-24-2011, 08:19 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Well as you keep saying, its a translation, so either its a translation, and then it should be as similar to the original as possible, or its a new scripture. and if its a translation then the original bible that it got translated from obviously it cant be better.. Also, if God popped up to help the translators King James ordered to translate the bible then they should be heathens? cause some people here on the forums have told me that God doesn't change his mind(even though he do in the bible) so the original bible that God wrote FIRST must be the best one.. From what you people have told me at least

And I will follow facts and truth, if you can show me real proof(not only scriptures from a book) then we can talk about bible facts ¨_^
What all this boils down to is that the word of God displeases you and makes you feel uneasy (the thought of going to Hell is for precisely that purpose) so you reject it(or at least the bits that tell you you're going to burn forever). You're looking for excuses so you can follow your life of sin and debauchery with a clear conscience.

But you haven't got a clear conscience. Jesus has drawn you here for a reason, sinner. Is it not so you can see the true nature of God's message and make a clear decision as to whether you really ought to spit in His face as much as you are doing?

turn away from this fate, there's no need for you to burn.
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Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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  #47  
Old 09-24-2011, 11:25 AM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

If I met him IRL I'd prolly call him a dumbass to be quite honest.. He made 4 of the 10 commandments that he gave us that we should worship him because he's all that but he can't even give us the slightest sign that he is real(except the bible that anyone could have written to make heaps of money and justify killings..)
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  #48  
Old 09-24-2011, 11:36 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
And I will follow facts and truth, if you can show me real proof(not only scriptures from a book) then we can talk about bible facts ¨_^
FACT: In Genesis, it says God created the Earth and everything in it.
FACT: The Earth and everything in it exists, exactly as Genesis predicts it does.
CONCLUSION: The Bible must be true, because if it wasn't true, the world wouldn't exist.
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God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #49  
Old 09-24-2011, 02:29 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
If I met him IRL I'd prolly call him a dumbass to be quite honest.. He made 4 of the 10 commandments that he gave us that we should worship him because he's all that but he can't even give us the slightest sign that he is real(except the bible that anyone could have written to make heaps of money and justify killings..)
Yet again you reject the very God who made you! How much more of a miracle do you need than every breath you take?

God gives us signs all the time. He doesn't muck around with giving you a wave - He properly smites sinners to warn you. And you let them all die in vain, let alone ignoring Jesus who temporarily died to get your attention and prove God is real and taking an active interest in whether or not you choose to be burned forever or not.
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Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
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  #50  
Old 09-24-2011, 04:09 PM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
If I met him IRL I'd prolly call him a dumbass to be quite honest.. He made 4 of the 10 commandments that he gave us that we should worship him because he's all that but he can't even give us the slightest sign that he is real(except the bible that anyone could have written to make heaps of money and justify killings..)
You'd call Jesus a name like that?

Can you give me one reason why I shouldn't ban you here and now for blasphemy?
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #51  
Old 09-25-2011, 07:13 AM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
FACT: In Genesis, it says God created the Earth and everything in it.
FACT: The Earth and everything in it exists, exactly as Genesis predicts it does.
CONCLUSION: The Bible must be true, because if it wasn't true, the world wouldn't exist.
Well this is a problem, those arent facts, facts can be proven in real life by tests and so on.. It's your belief that its that way, its not undisputed facts..

Quote:
Yet again you reject the very God who made you! How much more of a miracle do you need than every breath you take?
I don't find the very reason that I can breath a miracle, kind of demeans the essence of the word as breathing is something natural that is explained by science It's nothing that God must have created..

Quote:
Can you give me one reason why I shouldn't ban you here and now for blasphemy?
Sinse you give me infractions without reason just because I made a compelling argument or because I wrote something you didn't like I'm sure it doesn't matter if I give you a reason or not. You will just do what you want, cause thats what freedom is(something not respected by everyone, your egocentric God for one )
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  #52  
Old 09-25-2011, 07:49 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
If I met him IRL I'd prolly call him a dumbass to be quite honest.. He made 4 of the 10 commandments that he gave us that we should worship him because he's all that but he can't even give us the slightest sign that he is real(except the bible that anyone could have written to make heaps of money and justify killings..)
Of course there are signs that He is real! Do you personally know anyone who has lived for hundreds? Of course not! People die. Death is the penalty for sin. (Romans 6:23) If there was no God, there would be no sin. If there were no sin, people would not die!
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  #53  
Old 09-25-2011, 08:02 AM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

No, death is the natural order of life.. No matter how good you are and how little you sin you will die! Also its a stupid argument that death is the reason of sin then why would he kill infants that done nothing bad..

And don't blame it God know they will sin, if so he would have killed Hitler before he grew up etc etc...
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  #54  
Old 09-25-2011, 08:16 AM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
No, death is the natural order of life.. No matter how good you are and how little you sin you will die! Also its a stupid argument that death is the reason of sin then why would he kill infants that done nothing bad..

And don't blame it God know they will sin, if so he would have killed Hitler before he grew up etc etc...
Hitler was wrongfully accused of imprisoning dozens of Joos, which indirectly brought about the establishment of the modern day Joo settlement (Israel, AKA Kikestan).

YiC,

Z. Smyth
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  #55  
Old 09-25-2011, 07:18 PM
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
No, death is the natural order of life.. No matter how good you are and how little you sin you will die! Also its a stupid argument that death is the reason of sin then why would he kill infants that done nothing bad..

And don't blame it God know they will sin, if so he would have killed Hitler before he grew up etc etc...
Speak for yourself, bucko. Jesus has entered me with His love and filled me with the Holy Spirit. I am not so vain as to reject His kind offer of Redemption.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.


So when you die, you will be in unfathomable torments while you await Judgment Day, at which point you will be cast into the lake of fire for your wilfulness, your perversions, and your unbelief. Meanwhile, I will be rejoicing in Heaven with my True Christian™ brethren and sistren, singing praise songs, and pressed snugly against the bosom of Jesus... very much alive. Eternally alive.
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In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



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  #56  
Old 09-25-2011, 09:51 PM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

yy. a God that plagues you with diseases and death and sorrow for many an entire lifetime is really awesome and something everyone should embrace!
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Old 09-25-2011, 10:13 PM
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
No, death is the natural order of life..
It is now, but only because of the sin of Adam. (1 Corinthians 15:21)

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
No matter how good you are and how little you sin you will die!
Yes. We True Christians refer to this as a "fallen world." It is this way because sin entered the world and through sin death. But praise God! Jesus offered Himself as the payment so we could live! (John 3:16)

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Also its a stupid argument that death is the reason of sin then why would he kill infants that done nothing bad..
Hello? Fallen world.

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
And don't blame it God know they will sin, if so he would have killed Hitler before he grew up etc etc...
But He didn't kill Hitler before he grew up so clearly He has a plan even if you cannot understand it. (Isaiah 55:8)
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  #58  
Old 09-26-2011, 06:19 AM
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
But He didn't kill Hitler before he grew up so clearly He has a plan even if you cannot understand it. (Isaiah 55:8)
Nice excuse LOL!

and referring to your "if evolution was true moms would have three arms". #1, why would they? they only need two arms.. #2 maybe learn about evolution before looking even more stupid? x) just had to reply to it cause it was so dumb!
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Old 09-26-2011, 11:32 AM
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Redeemed Papist Redeemed Papist is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

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Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
yy. a God that plagues you with diseases and death and sorrow for many an entire lifetime is really awesome and something everyone should embrace!
Luke 12:5 But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

This is why you should read the Bible and not listen to wishy washy "God is love" merchants bent on keeping people sodomising each other rather than seeking Salvation.
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Old 09-26-2011, 03:48 PM
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Nice excuse LOL!

and referring to your "if evolution was true moms would have three arms". #1, why would they? they only need two arms.. #2 maybe learn about evolution before looking even more stupid? x) just had to reply to it cause it was so dumb!
Why so angry friend? We're here to glorify LORD Jesus, not rip each other apart. God created us to glorify Him! (Isaiah 43:7)

1 Chronicles 16:28 - Give unto the LORD, ye kindreds of the people, give unto the LORD glory and strength.

Psalms 22:23 - Ye that fear the LORD, praise him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel.

Isaiah 42:12 - Let them give glory unto the LORD, and declare his praise in the islands.

1 Chronicles 16:29 - Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.

Psalms 99:9 - Exalt the LORD our God, and worship at his holy hill; for the LORD our God is holy.

Revelation 15:4 Who shall not fear thee, O Lord, and glorify thy name? for thou only art holy: for all nations shall come and worship before thee; for thy judgments are made manifest.

Psalms 115:1 - Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake.

Isaiah 25:1 - O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.


You, my friend, would be wise to read the Holy Scriptures so you would know what's in store should you continue in your vain and angry ways. Don't let your anger at God darken your heart:

Romans 1:21 - Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Call out to HIM, repent, confess your sins and be SAVED!

Romans 10:9 - That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Romans 5:1 - Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

You want peace, friend. I can feel it in my spirit. I shall pray for you today.
__________________
.



Proud Quiver Full Mommy To Many

(Psalm 127:3-5)


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