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  #21  
Old 11-13-2006, 05:37 AM
Rev. Carlton Green's Avatar
Rev. Carlton Green Rev. Carlton Green is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Forgive me if my humour is a little stiff, but I've got an old one....


Q: What is shrivelled, crusty, and is puffing smoke?

A: A burnt out "WICK"-can.

I use this one for my October Wiccan Hunt, which was successful this year by the way.
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  #22  
Old 11-13-2006, 12:55 PM
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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
[Rubbish removed]
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.

"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Catholic."
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Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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  #23  
Old 11-13-2006, 01:37 PM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

OH MERCY!! HA HA HA HA Haaaaaaaaaa! That was a good one Brother Eno. If you don't mind, I'd like to share that one with the youth group next week. OH Sweet Jesus that was a good one!
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #24  
Old 11-13-2006, 06:03 PM
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Father Mo, or some similar Mary Worshipping Priest is taking a stroll along the cliffs when he happens to come across a young boy crying and sobbing.

"What's wong?" Asked the Priest.

"My Mommy and Daddy just drove the car over the edge of this cliff. I managed to jump out, but they are both dead".

The Priest turns and walks towards the little boy, opening his Cassock he says: "Not your day is it Sonny?"
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"Jesus Loves the little children, all the children of the world"
IS NOT BASED ON SCRIPTURE

HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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  #25  
Old 11-14-2006, 08:16 PM
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

On a similar note: A Catholic Priest and a little altar boy are walking into some dark, spooky, abandoned woods. The altar boy says "Father, I'm scared." The priest says "You're scared? I'm going to have to come back this way on my own."
__________________
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #26  
Old 11-20-2006, 01:45 PM
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
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Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Poetic Peter is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

There's no joke to equal the old catlick joke.
This one is authentic, from well over a century ago--
before the advent of the telephone rendered obsolete the quaint custom of "making calls" in person.



One fine Saturday morn
two Belfast biddies made their unnecessary rounds,
calling to faint acquaintances' homes.

It was 10AM.

"Oh, look, see! There be the Bishop's house"
"Let's call!"
"Oh, yes, let's do."

ring ring

A sullen charwoman cracked the door.

"Pray tell is the lord Bishop to home?"

"Yes but he won't be seein' the likes of you. He's still a'bed."

The biddies gazed one at the other.
The moonier of them cooed,
"Ah, asleep in the arms of Morpheus."

The charwoman snapped off as the front door smacked shut,
"I don't know his name. I only know he is a sailor."
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  #27  
Old 11-27-2006, 04:02 PM
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Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

For Father Mo

Q. How Do You Get Holy Water?


A. You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

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  #28  
Old 11-27-2006, 10:06 PM
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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Here's one:

Welcome to Hell

by Rorke Haining
A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor.

He thinks to himself "I know I lead a wild life but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this." Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.

Counselor: What's the problem, you look depressed?

Guy: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.

Counselor: Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much a you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays. Do you do drugs?

Guy: Well in my younger days I experimented a little.

Counselor: You are going to love Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can experiment with any drug you want and you don't have to worry about overdoses or getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?

Guy: Yes, I love to gamble.

Counselor: You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all day and night -- black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?

Guy: Uhh...no.

Counselor: Oh , you're gonna hate Fridays...
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  #29  
Old 11-30-2006, 04:51 AM
neko-lear neko-lear is offline
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Talking Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

The Priest, the Truck Driver, and the Lawyer

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to the church five miles down the road," replied the priest.

"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road, and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. However, even though he was certain he had missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"
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  #30  
Old 11-30-2006, 07:08 AM
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by neko-lear View Post
"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"
Friend, this joke it totally appropriate because it is about the Anti-Christ CATLICK homer priests. I liked it!
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  #31  
Old 11-30-2006, 11:28 AM
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Friend, this joke it totally appropriate because it is about the Anti-Christ CATLICK homer priests. I liked it!
It seemed a bit implausible to me. Surely, there's no way a poor little innocent truck driver could give a priest a lift without being raped and murdered? Still, jokes about running down Jew lawyers are always fun, I suppose.
__________________
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #32  
Old 11-30-2006, 07:04 PM
Enobarbus's Avatar
Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Boisterous Bears
A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, give me a beer!"

The bartender looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve beers to bears here."

A lady sitting at the other end of the counter sees there's going to be trouble so she decides to order on more beer and then leave. So the bartender cuts her a beer and slides it down the counter.

The bear, seeing the lady being served begins to get mad and pounds his paws on the bartop shouting, "BARTENDER, GIVE ME A BEER!"

The bartender calmly replies, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve beers to bears here and we don't serve beers to boisterous beers."

The lady finishes her beer but decides to have one more before she leaves. So the bartender cuts her a beer and slides it down the counter.

Seeing this, the bear becomes even more angry and growls at the top of his lungs, "BARTENDER, I SAID GIVE ME A BEER!"

The bartender looks the bear in the eye and says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve beers to bears and we definitely don't serve beers to boisterous bears."

The lady finishes up her beer and stands up to leave. The bear furiously walks up to the lady, picks her up and swallows her whole.

Still angry, the bear stalks back to the bar and with a threatening glare he says to the bartender, "Now, give me a BEER!"

The bartender, totally unfazed, says to the bear, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve beers to bears here, we don't serve beers to boisterous bears, and we NEVER, EVER serve beers to beers who do drugs."

Confused, the bear says, "Drugs? What are you talking about? I've never done drugs in my life. The bartender replies:

"What about that barbituate?"
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Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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  #33  
Old 11-30-2006, 07:11 PM
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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Enobarbus is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Three men are standing on the roof of a 20-storey building.

"You know", said the first one, "the updraft is so strong today, I'm sure that I can jump off the edge of this building and float straight back up".

"Oh, get away with ya", says Paddy, "Ye be havin' us on, it ain't possible".

"You watch this", says the first man.

He then jumps off the edge of the building, and ten seconds later, floats up again.

"By gorra, says", Paddy, "he was right. This looks like fun, I'll do it myself."

Paddy jumps off the building and goes splat on the pavement below.

The third man turns to the first and says: "Sometimes you can be a bastard, Superman".
__________________
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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  #34  
Old 11-30-2006, 07:42 PM
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Pastor Rune Enoe Pastor Rune Enoe is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus View Post
"You know", said the first one, "the updraft is so strong today, I'm sure that I can jump off the edge of this building and float straight back up".
Well, I'll be.... Was that how He did it?

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  #35  
Old 12-03-2006, 10:33 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

(Not so much a joke as it is a cautionary tale regarding the depth of Joo cunning; but as the victim is a boy-buggerer, it is rather funny).

A catlick priest and a rabbi were both out driving their respective cars one day, when the terrible happens: they run into each other head on, in a grinding of steel. Both vehicles are complete right-offs, but incredibly both men survive and crawl from the wreckage completely unscathed.

"It is a miracle!" declares the priest.

"Oy, but you are right!" agrees the rabbi. "It must be a sign from G_d that there should be a greater co-operation between the peoples of our faiths."

"Of course," the priest exclaims, "God wills a greater union between us."

Just then a bottle of communion wine, somehow unbroken in the turmoil, rolls from the priest's car. The rabbi seizes upon it.

"Another miracle!" he whispers in awe.

"It can only be," says the priest, taking the bottle from his new friend. "God must have preserved this wine that we may toast out new union." And with that, he uncorks the bottle and takes a swig. He then hands the bottle to the rabbi... who recorks it, and places it down on the floor.

"But..." stammers the priest," will you not toast our new union?"

"Nah," says the rabbi, "I think I'll wait until after the police have been."
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  #36  
Old 12-05-2006, 04:42 PM
neko-lear neko-lear is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Wonderful tale Mrs. Rogers, and one good tale deserves another.

Bran Muffins
-------------------------------------------------------------------
An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last 10 years, mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercise.

When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.

As they "oohed and aahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one, representing the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"

Peter's reply, "This is Heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it's free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.

Peter lectured, "That's the best part -- you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like, and you never get fat or sick. This is Heaven."

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, shrieking wildly.

Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.

The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your bran muffins, I could have been here 10 years ago!"
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  #37  
Old 12-05-2006, 05:07 PM
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ProdigalSon ProdigalSon is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

How about this classic?

A father and his 8 year-old daughter are sitting together on the front porch admiring nature. The girl points to a spider on the steps and says "Daddy, what's that?" The father smiles and says "That's a daddy long legs!" Just then, another spider approaches the first and they begin to mate. Curious, the girl asks, "Is that the mommy long legs?", to which the father replied "No, that's a daddy long legs too!". The girl angrily stomped both of the spiders to death and said "We're not having any of THAT at OUR house!!"
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  #38  
Old 12-10-2006, 11:30 PM
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Virginia D. Templeton Virginia D. Templeton is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Why do they call it "soul music" when Negroes don't have souls?

A: Because the media is run by lox-gobbling Hebrew Christkillers.
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  #39  
Old 12-20-2006, 04:43 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

It's Santaist rather than Christian, but seems holiday-appropriate.

It also demonstrates what happens to those who wish to curry the favor of Satan Claws:

Quote:
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.

This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.

He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so Santa began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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  #40  
Old 12-21-2006, 11:43 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Give more.

Expect less.



PS. After the neighbors left, the donkey bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from gangrene.

TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you!
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