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  #561  
Old 08-20-2012, 08:58 PM
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Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Godfly will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
What you talkin bout Willis?
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  #562  
Old 08-22-2012, 12:57 AM
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Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

DUCKS IN HEAVEN !


Three women die together in an accident
And go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says,
'We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
There are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
And although they try their best to avoid them,
The first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day,
The second woman steps accidentally on a duck
And along comes St. Peter,
Who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together
With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and,
Not wanting to be chained
For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,
VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months
Without stepping on any ducks,
then
One day St.Peter comes up to her
With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. (like Pastor Zeke )


St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,
'I wonder what I did to deserve being
Chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says,
'I don't know about you,
But I stepped on a
Duck.
'


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  #563  
Old 09-06-2012, 05:47 PM
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Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do they call an animal euthanizing center that puts cats to sleep?

Meowschwitz
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  #564  
Old 09-08-2012, 04:01 AM
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Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Clop-clop-clop-clop-BANG!-BANG!-clop-clop

?
?
?
?

Amish drive-by shooting

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  #565  
Old 09-13-2012, 05:34 PM
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Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
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  #566  
Old 09-13-2012, 07:58 PM
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Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
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Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A catlick was looking for a parking space. “Oh Lord, let me find a space and I swear that I’ll go to Church more often, I’ll give up the hard drink and have more children for Jesus!”

A parking space miraculously appeared, the catlick looks towards Heaven and says, “Dear Lord, forget that, I’ve just found one.”

And so it is with Catlix – they simply use Jesus as they see fit and never render unto Caesar…
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We are the pure and chosen few,
And all the rest are damned.
There’s room enough in hell for you—
We don’t want heaven crammed.
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  #567  
Old 09-14-2012, 08:23 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Is Jesus the coolest man ever?

- What do you think compadre? In His Birthday you get presents.
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Joshua 1:18
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  #568  
Old 09-14-2012, 10:30 AM
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Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Why do catlick priests wear robes?

A: Altar boys can hear a zipper a mile away.
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  #569  
Old 09-30-2012, 08:41 PM
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Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
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Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What does GOD say every time a baby nigra is born?



Oops, burnt another one.



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  #570  
Old 11-10-2012, 06:02 PM
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Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
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Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
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  #571  
Old 11-14-2012, 12:40 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

what did the True Christian™ Freehold sheriff say when he saw the catholic priest had been shot 37 times.... "thats the worst case of suicide i ever seen"

Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 11-15-2012 at 05:03 AM. Reason: Spelling fixed
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  #572  
Old 11-14-2012, 02:05 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

How do you keep a joo from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.
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  #573  
Old 11-18-2012, 06:12 PM
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.

She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, yo
u get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fulfils his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #574  
Old 11-19-2012, 04:45 PM
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UnicornsAreReal (On Moderation) UnicornsAreReal is offline
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Commmmmunnissss 

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UnicornsAreReal is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.UnicornsAreReal is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

KJV Bible was written in England because it's God's favorite country.
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  #575  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:58 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

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Originally Posted by UnicornsAreReal View Post
KJV Bible was written in England because it's God's favorite country.
Please see the title of the thread. It's good clean CHRISTIAN jokes, not foul, blasphemous, furry Satanic bloviations..
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:20 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I don't know, Brother Carl. It made me laugh. England, God's favorite country? Hilarious!
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:22 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

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I don't know, Brother Carl. It made me laugh. England, God's favorite country? Hilarious!
True.. I guess God hates dental hygiene then, too
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:48 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

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True.. I guess God hates dental hygiene then, too
You certainly aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer? Isn't it a purpose of a joke to make one laugh?
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:53 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

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You certainly aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer? Isn't it a purpose of a joke to make one laugh?
A menshevik sphincter says what?
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Old 12-05-2012, 04:45 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

In 1272, the Muslims invented the condom using a goat's lower intestine.


In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.


The idea has never caught on with the Muslims.
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