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  #41  
Old 12-22-2006, 01:19 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

That last joke doesn't sound very Christian to me.
It sounds like a lieberal hippie joke.
As does the "lessons" one could learn from it.

Jesus tells us to hate sinners, as He hates them, and we are to follow in His footsteps!

The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
Psalm 5:5

And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
Matthew 10:38

We are not only to worry ALL THE TIME, we are to do better, we are to live in FEAR.
Righteous fear of the Lord! Praise!

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom:
A good understanding have all they that do his commandments:
His praise endureth for ever.
Psalm 111:10


We are not to help the "unfortunate" (as in "give more".) as they are unrighteous sinners. Rather we should tithe that gift to Jesus instead.
Glory!

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.
Psalm 37:25

For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always.
Matthew 26:11

And trying to kill a donkey is not wrong in any way, they are soulless beings no better than rocks, and we may kill them if we want to.
PRAISE JESUS!
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If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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  #42  
Old 12-22-2006, 04:14 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
And trying to kill a donkey is not wrong in any way, they are soulless beings no better than rocks, and we may kill them if we want to.
PRAISE JESUS!
It's never wise to rush to judgement on these things. I'd feel pretty silly if I killed a donkey for disobeying me, only to find out that said donkey was taking orders directly from GOD:
Numbers 22:21 And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
22 And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.
23 And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
24 But the angel of the LORD stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side.
25 And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again.
26 And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.
27 And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.
28 And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?
29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
30 And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.
31 Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
32 And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:
33 And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #43  
Old 12-22-2006, 05:04 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
It's never wise to rush to judgement on these things. I'd feel pretty silly if I killed a donkey for disobeying me, only to find out that said donkey was taking orders directly from GOD:
Numbers 22:21 And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
22 And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.
23 And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
24 But the angel of the LORD stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side.
25 And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again.
26 And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.
27 And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.
28 And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?
29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
30 And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.
31 Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
32 And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:
33 And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.
Ah yes, brother.
Thanks for pointing that out.

I repent of my former statement about donkeys, of course we should check if the donkey is acting on orders from God first.
If not, then we may kill it.

PRAISE JESUS!
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A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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  #44  
Old 12-23-2006, 01:12 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

BORING SERMON ? MAKE IT MORE FUN:

Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.
See if a yawn really is contagious.
Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the priest/preacher.
Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet.
Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.
Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.
Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the toilet.
Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.
Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.
Pretend to be 4 years old. By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt around backwards.
Try to raise one eyebrow.
Crack your knuckles.
Think about your chin for an entire minute.
Twiddle your thumbs.
Twiddle your neighbors thumbs.
Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.
Practice smiling insincerely.

Then After the Message, thank the Preacher for that interesting and thought provoking message.




BUBBA

There was a man named Bubba and Bubba knew EVERYONE in the whole world!!! Once when Bubba got a new job, Bubba says to his new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!" His boss doesn't believe him, so he says "No you do not know everyone in the whole world" but Bubba says "Yes I do!" so Bubba's boss says "Well prove it!" then Bubba says "Pick someone... and I know them!"

Well Bubba's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!" Bubba says "Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!" but Bubba's boss says "No you weren't!" then Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Hollywood and drive up to Tom Selleck's house. Bubba knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and Bubba goes "Tom!!!" and Tom goes "Bubba!" and they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that could happen, it's just one person," so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick somebody else!"

This time Bubba's boss has someone in mind! "The president, Bill Clinton! You don't know President Bill Clinton!" but Bubba says "Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!" Bubba's boss says "No you weren't!" and Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Washington and they catch the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Bubba gets close enough to catch Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!" and the President waves "Bubba!" and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss is stunned-- he can't believe it.

But then he thinks "Well that's just two people in one country-- that doesn't mean he knows everyone in the whole world!" so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick someone out of the world spectrum and I know them!" And Bubba's boss knows just who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know the Pope!" and Bubba says "The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!" and Bubba's boss says "No he didn't!" and Bubba says "Yes he did!" so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people. They work their way through the crowd-- without much luck-- so Bubba says "Boss, were never gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you what-- I'll work my way up there and when I do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the Pope!" and he leaves. Well Bubba's boss waits and waits and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and right there beside is Bubba! Shortly afterwards, Bubba's boss passes out. Bubba comes back and finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake up!" and when his boss comes to, he asks "Boss what happened!"

Bubba's boss looks at Bubba and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton... hell, I can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks 'Who's that up there with Bubba?' that's a little more than I can take!
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  #45  
Old 12-25-2006, 04:50 AM
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Petal Petal is offline
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Unhappy Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

this joke not christian, but it clean as cold water can get it anyways

Quote:
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied: "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."

Later on that afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yokes. So he asked again, "Grandfather, are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up from his hamburger, grandfather says: "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore!"

Still later on that afternoon, he decided to get dinner in a nearby town. Before leaving, he had to urinate but his Grandfather's dog was in his way, drinking out of the toilet. "Grandfather," the man called out, "Your dog won't let me take a leak!"

From the living room, grandfather called out: "Coldwater, get your ass out of the bathroom!"
nows, i got this here next joke in my emails i thinks Satan sent it to me! an it not christian an it not clean, but it need to be posteds so that it can be rebuked in the name of lord Jesus

Quote:
The old man, living in a nursing home, approached the nurses station with an extremely sad expression on his face.

The nurse ask why he appeared so sad.

His reply was, "My private part died today."

The nurse offered her condolences in an attempt to cheer him up and the day proceeded without incidence.

The next morning, the old man again approached the nurse's station, only his robe was splayed and his private part fully exposed.

The nurse was shocked and told him his private part was showing.

He replied, "I told you yesterday my private part died."

She replied, "Yes, I remember that but it is hanging out of your pajamas today."

He said, "Today's the viewing."
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  #46  
Old 12-25-2006, 03:23 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal View Post
this joke not christian, but it clean as cold water can get it anyways

nows, i got this here next joke in my emails i thinks Satan sent it to me! an it not christian an it not clean, but it need to be posteds so that it can be rebuked in the name of lord Jesus
Miss Petal, I Hope you don't mind, but I sent those jokes along to a $avED friend just in case he should wish to Rebuke them also.
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  #47  
Old 01-03-2007, 07:35 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

The pope, the deli lhama, an athiest, and Pastor Pistle were on an airplane.
Lightning strikes the cock pit and kills the pilots. There is one parachute on the plane. The athiest grabs it and says,"You dudes believe in God. Let him get you down in one piece!" Then he puts on the chute and jumps out the door. He is promptly sucked into the engine and ground into pulp.
Pastor Pistle then starts ministering to the Pope and the deli lhama about True Christianity. The Pope has a heart attack from guilt. The deli Lhama has an anuerism.

Pastor Pistle gets up and walks into the cock pit and throws the pilot out of his seat and then pastor Pistle lands the plane.
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5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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  #48  
Old 01-05-2007, 05:17 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

One Saturday, a pastor decided to visit his the newest member at his church. When he arrived at the young lady's house it, was clear to the pastor that someone was home, but nobody came to the door. The pastor knocked several times and finally took out his card and on the back of it wrote Revelation 3:20 and taped it to the door. When the young lady opened the door after the pastor had gone and found the card taped to the door. So she took out her Bible and looked for the passage. It reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with me."

The next day the same card showed up in the collection plate. Below the pastor's message was another scripture passage: Genesis 3:10.
After the service, the pastor looked through his Bible and found the passage and laughed when he read: "I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself."
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  #49  
Old 01-09-2007, 06:19 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town in
Ireland. One day
he was walking down the high street, when he noticed a young lady of his
congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.
The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the open door of
the pub and sat down next to the woman. "Miss Fitzgerald", he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"

"Sure", she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Miss Fitzgerald
stood up from the bar she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.

The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oi mate, we won't have any of
that carrying on in this pub."

The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't
understand, I'm Pastor Fluff."

The landlord nodded and said, "Oh well, if you're that far in, you might as
well finish."


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  #50  
Old 01-14-2007, 05:57 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?", she asked.

Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late, and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then, all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys".

"Very nice Patrick", she said.

"Now, Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?"

"Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols, and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents."

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at
Christmas?"

Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'. Then we all go to the Bahamas ...."
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  #51  
Old 01-21-2007, 03:38 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Did you hear about the new Middle Eastern bathing suit? It's called a Burkini - for Muslim women who don't like to be stoned.
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  #52  
Old 01-22-2007, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said. " Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
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  #53  
Old 01-22-2007, 10:51 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
Did you hear about the new Middle Eastern bathing suit? It's called a Burkini - for Muslim women who don't like to be stoned.
The burkini is no joke - even Wikipedia knows about it: Burqini.

I may have been guilty of a certain tardiness in my praise for these Moon-worshippers - but at least they know how to display proper modesty. Modesty should be encouraged and not discouraged by so-called "casual" attire.

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  #54  
Old 01-23-2007, 12:08 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
The burkini is no joke - even Wikipedia knows about it: Burqini.

I may have been guilty of a certain tardiness in my praise for these Moon-worshippers - but at least they know how to display proper modesty. Modesty should be encouraged and not discouraged by so-called "casual" attire.

Attachment 1017
Proper modesty, especially in women, is one of the few things mooslums get right. A slight redesign and a name change would make good bathing suits for Landover's ladies. They'll be a lot better than most of the bathing suits available for women. Even the one piece suits expose A LOT more skin than is proper and is to tight over what it does cover.
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  #55  
Old 01-23-2007, 02:11 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
A slight redesign and a name change would make good bathing suits for Landover's ladies.
The Ladies of Landover are on it already. We expect to have them in the stores by summer.
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  #56  
Old 01-23-2007, 04:47 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
The Ladies of Landover are on it already. We expect to have them in the stores by summer.
Praise JESUS!! I hope one day that bikinis and the like are outlawed for promoting wanton and sluttish behavior in otherwise decent women.
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  #57  
Old 01-24-2007, 03:17 AM
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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Bah, they might as well wear a wet-suit! All that's missing really is the dive goggles and oxygen tanks!
I find the treatment of women in many Islamic countries to be an atrocious injustice. Saudi Arabia. Iraq. Iran. Yemen. Women are treated worse than hunting dogs.
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Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 01-24-2007 at 03:18 AM.
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  #58  
Old 01-24-2007, 10:04 AM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
... All that's missing really is the dive goggles and oxygen tanks!...
Lady von Hellsing brings up a good point. These bathing suits do not cover the face like the traditional burka. A mask of some sort is in order.

Speaking of swimming, Lady von Hellsing, did you ever see if you could float? I believe that this is the traditional test for Witches.
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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn

Last edited by WilliamJenningsBryan; 01-24-2007 at 10:05 AM.
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  #59  
Old 01-24-2007, 12:51 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Bah, they might as well wear a wet-suit! All that's missing really is the dive goggles and oxygen tanks!
I find the treatment of women in many Islamic countries to be an atrocious injustice. Saudi Arabia. Iraq. Iran. Yemen. Women are treated worse than hunting dogs.
A good hunting dog is worth 50 wives, any day of the week. Especially a good coon dog. Females are a dime a dozen.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #60  
Old 01-24-2007, 04:53 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Bah, they might as well wear a wet-suit! All that's missing really is the dive goggles and oxygen tanks!
I find the treatment of women in many Islamic countries to be an atrocious injustice. Saudi Arabia. Iraq. Iran. Yemen. Women are treated worse than hunting dogs.
And no wonder. Can you catch a man dinner?



No, babies DON'T count.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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