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  #21  
Old 01-07-2011, 09:44 PM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This seems like a pretty swell idea.
We all know children strive to be cooler than each other, so if this means they are looked at as being cool, being safe, and following the LORD as well then we're killing three birds with one red sash!

Once one child joins, their unsaved friends will want to be in the "cool gang" too, and before you know it, it's a craze like pokeymon.
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"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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  #22  
Old 01-07-2011, 10:32 PM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by genisisread View Post
…pakis…
Are you English? There is an introduction section HERE where you can tell us about youself, and include a favourite Bible verse (perhaps tha one about a "pakis" whatever that is..). You need to click the button that looks like this:

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  #23  
Old 01-07-2011, 11:25 PM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Excellent idea! Way to many young men and women think there is nothing wrong with premarital fornication. They don't understand that premarital sex will damn them to the fires of Hell. God didn't create sex to be enjoyed, HE created it so we have a way of bringing more Christian Soldiers into the world (and to save women through child-bearing). The ONLY reason to fornicate is for married couples to reproduce. Sex for any other reason or outside of marriage is wrong and sinful.
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  #24  
Old 01-07-2011, 11:26 PM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Now, on a different note, I am pleased to announce the Junior Anti-Sex League has taken an official position on the recruitment of older members, as this seems to have been a bit of a point of consternation. In the interest of having enough members where we can always watch and lovingly correct our Outer Members when they may stray from the path of chastity, the Junior Anti-Sex League is officially open to all applicants, regardless of age. Furthermore, we ask that any Full Members over the age of 24 be addressed with the titles "Big Brother" and "Big Sister" (as opposed to just "Brother" and "Sister") in all official Junior Anti-Sex League correspondence.

Thank you for your time friends, and remember, we will one day have a world where the grievous sins of fornication and pre-marital sex are dealt with exactly how God wants. Praise Jesus!
Would it be appropriate to give Reverend Osborne a special title in recognition of his extra-ordinary devotion to the Junior Anti-Sex cause? Just calling him "Daddy" would work if only it weren't for the unfortunate Catholic connotations, and the fact that we only have one Father, who is in Heaven.
Quote:
Originally Posted by genisisread View Post
According to the bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.

Anyone think that we could be following the wrong guy?
What, when the Final Battle comes you want to be on the side of the wimp?
Quote:
I just read the sickest book in the world.

There was paedophilia, incest, rape, violence, domestic abuse, jews, blacks, pakis. It was piffleing great.

I think it was called 'The Bible'.
A) It's pretty racist to think that "Jews, blacks and pakis" fall into the category of sick stuff.
B ) Where are there Pakistanis in the Bible?
Quote:
So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...
I hope your approach to essay-writing is better than your approach to post-writing.
Quote:
A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." Presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado.
Yes, that woman was stupid. Looks like God had it in for her daughter, you're right there.
Quote:
People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.
True, but what have Muslims got to do with anything?
Quote:
If we're all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus?
He died for your sins.
Quote:
The Bible is too wordy, the stories are too wordy, there's no need for the ten commandments.

The Bible should be just one sheet of paper that says:

'Try not to be a cooter.'
You really don't know much about the Bible, do you?
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #25  
Old 01-08-2011, 12:39 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This idea is awsome!

As you know we do have a lot of problem with fornication here in Europe.
I was thinking of starting a Swedish Chapter (or perhaps a Scaninavian if brother Johannes Kirkeholm has the time and is interested in the project).
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  #26  
Old 01-08-2011, 01:12 AM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Gosh, Lycia!

That's the coolest, rockin'est logo EVER!

You guys and gals are on your way!
.
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  #27  
Old 01-09-2011, 12:43 AM
JennySue JennySue is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This is exactly what I have been looking for!! I, of course, want to wait until I have a husband. It is just so difficult because I attend one of the worst (public) schools in the state and I am always hounded by perverts (for lack of better word) who just will not leave me alone (they even tell me the things that they wish to do to me ), and I believe I need help dealing with it.
Do you by any chance have room left for a new member??
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  #28  
Old 01-09-2011, 12:57 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

As Sister Lycia has explained, only those who have achieved True Christian status qualify for full membership. But I see no reason why you couldn't become an associate member in the meantime. Here in the Junior Anti-Sex League, there is always room to fit another member in.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #29  
Old 01-09-2011, 01:08 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Thank you very much Brother Temperance. I must have missed the part about the True Christian status. How would I achieve that status?
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  #30  
Old 01-09-2011, 01:15 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennySue View Post
Thank you very much Brother Temperance. I must have missed the part about the True Christian status. How would I achieve that status?
Hello Ms. Jenny Sue. As Brother Temperance said, right now full membership in the Junior Anti-Sex League is restricted to True Christians™ and promising forum members. Additionally, the privilege of being sent the official red sash is restricted to True Christians™. However, don't let that stop you from spreading our message of chastity and purity! As leader of the Junior Anti-Sex League, I hereby allow you to consider yourself as a probationary member until we know a little more about you. Please remember that your probationary membership may be revoked if you act in a manner that is unbecoming of the League (not that I think it will be a problem! ).

Glad to have you aboard, Jenny!
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"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

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  #31  
Old 01-09-2011, 01:20 AM
JennySue JennySue is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Hello Ms. Jenny Sue. As Brother Temperance said, right now full membership in the Junior Anti-Sex League is restricted to True Christians™ and promising forum members. Additionally, the privilege of being sent the official red sash is restricted to True Christians™. However, don't let that stop you from spreading our message of chastity and purity! As leader of the Junior Anti-Sex League, I hereby allow you to consider yourself as a probationary member until we know a little more about you. Please remember that your probationary membership may be revoked if you act in a manner that is unbecoming of the League (not that I think it will be a problem! ).

Glad to have you aboard, Jenny!
Thank you so very much Sister Lycia! Oh believe me that will never happen! My Father has raised me better then that.
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  #32  
Old 01-09-2011, 06:41 AM
Janine Walker Janine Walker is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Signed myself up! I'm no Bristol Palin, abstinence works for me!
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  #33  
Old 01-09-2011, 10:01 PM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Sister Lycia, I am proud to say that O joined your group. I think it's important to spread the word of our Lord and Savior to the younger generation. Sometimes it may be necessary to pound it into them, but in the end, they'll thank True Christians for helping spread the Word of God to their young impressionable minds. I am honestly twitching with anticipation at the thought of soaking them in the Gospel!


You are indeed an inspiration to all of us and keep up the good work!



May God bless you!
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[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


PALIN/BACHMAN 2016

With their husbands permission of course
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  #34  
Old 01-09-2011, 11:24 PM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennySue View Post
Thank you so very much Sister Lycia! Oh believe me that will never happen! My Father has raised me better then that.
Dear JennySue:

Just speaking theoretically here...I bet there's nothing to stop a Probationary Member from making her OWN red sah and wearing it with PRIDE!

You Go, Girl (as the kids say today)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

EDIT: Sister Lycia: I wanted to offer to come to your group some Friday or Saturday night (when you're trying to keep the kids off the streets) and do a craft project, like weaving "Eyes of God™"

What you do is take popcicle sticks (twigs look too hippie-ish) and wrap yarn around them, moving from the inner section out. It's really fun, and bound to offer hours of good wholesome activity.

The kids will have a ball!
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  #35  
Old 01-09-2011, 11:56 PM
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Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
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Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Just speaking theoretically here...I bet there's nothing to stop a Probationary Member from making her OWN red sah and wearing it with PRIDE!
Just wanted to clarify here that it is A-OK if you want to do that, Jenny! Feel free to make your own sash and wear it with pride while spreading our message of chastity and purity!

Quote:
EDIT: Sister Lycia: I wanted to offer to come to your group some Friday or Saturday night (when you're trying to keep the kids off the streets) and do a craft project, like weaving "Eyes of God™"

What you do is take popcicle sticks (twigs look too hippie-ish) and wrap yarn around them, moving from the inner section out. It's really fun, and bound to offer hours of good wholesome activity.

The kids will have a ball!
Wow Sister, that is exactly the kind of super-cool activity I know our teen members will love! I know all too well the allure that fornication can have on an idle teenage mind, but if we True Christians™ keep coming up with "totally rad" ideas like that to keep our kids occupied, than pre-martial sex doesn't stand a chance!

P.S. Have you considered joining as one of our "Big Sisters", Cookie? I know you are quite busy organizing many of Freehold's events, but we can always use another True Christian™ lady like yourself to show some of our girls the ropes when it comes to acting like a proper lady. Not to mention I think the official red sash would look lovely with that dress Brother James bought you.
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"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
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  #36  
Old 01-10-2011, 02:13 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Sister Lycia, I've been giving this a lot of thought since I posted earlier. I have been told in the past that I am a pretty good public speaker and I would like to offer my oral skills to help spread the word of Christ to these future heathens. I am even available to show them why the need to accept the word of God into themselves in anyway that I can possible help do so. Of course, I would welcome any and all the Godly young ladies of Landover Baptist to help me guide it into them, and even help with my oral explanations. In fact, I encourage them to partake as well!


Again.....God bless all of you and keep up your fantastic work!
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[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


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  #37  
Old 01-10-2011, 04:32 PM
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Joshua The Converted Joshua The Converted is offline
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Joshua The Converted is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
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I propose this to you, Mistress Cookie and Lycia. We do this at my school in Textile Class, and all the kids really enjoy it! You get two circles of cardboard, cut another, smaller holw in the middle, wrap some knitting wool, or yarn, around them untill you have it around the whole thing at least 3 times, cut around the edges, and take out the cardboard. It makes a perfect sphere made with as many colours that you can put in there! I think we could have Mistress Cookie's idea on one night, and mine on another? Or alternating weeks?
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  #38  
Old 01-11-2011, 12:57 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

You can't go wrong with the 'three Ps': Pasta. Paper plates.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #39  
Old 01-11-2011, 02:37 AM
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Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joshua The Converted View Post
Thank you Lycia. What does DoF stand for, and why am I being investigated by them? I suppose it is because I might secretly be a God-Mocking Pastafarian?
Joshua, I notice your question went unanswered.

The Department of Faith is a joint Landover-US government initiative. All members are thoroughly investigated by the DoF before being permitted entry.

And please, don't joke about being a Pastafarian. That's like cracking wise about your new laptop being "the bomb" to a TSA agent. OK?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl For God View Post
I was in Freehold, Iowa last month on business and witnessed a highly respected member of the Landover Church giving money to a local prostitute. I was shocked at what I saw. I think we all deserve an explanation for what took place. I have it recorded on my phone.
Mistress Cookie may dress rather flamboyantly at times, but we will all thank you not to refer to her as a "local prostitute". Her body is the temple of Jesus, and only He may enter! She told me so herself, repeatedly!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
You can't go wrong with the 'three Ps': Pasta. Paper plates.
Careful, Brother. You know what Pasta can lead to, with certain weaker souls about. We don't want to put forth a stumblingblock!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott1305 View Post
Sister Lycia, I am proud to say that O joined your group.
Oprah?
Obama?
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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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  #40  
Old 01-11-2011, 05:05 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

My apologies on the typo Reverend. It was noticed by me after I was able to edit it. My incompetence is unforgivable and I will pray for forgiveness and that it never happens again.


It should simply read that I too have joined the group.
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[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


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