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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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  #21  
Old 03-10-2011, 05:53 AM
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renaldude renaldude is offline
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renaldude is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.renaldude is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
If you're in San Francisco, it's incredibly easy to spot a homosexual. Look around you and everyone you see is a sodomite.
So now you call my Brother-in-law a homosexual because he lives there? Maybe you live there too, how else would you know the demographics so well? Please tell me sister, Thanks in advance.
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  #22  
Old 03-10-2011, 06:14 AM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Homosexuals can also be recognized through their whining. Real men don't whine.
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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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  #23  
Old 03-10-2011, 06:26 AM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Sister, is there an "whining exemption" for those accursed by THE LORD?

I don't want to be a homosexual! I'll slice my neck open with a Skilsaw if I am, that's too much.

Will I go straight to Heaven if I slice my neck open with a Skilsaw before the faggotry consumes me?

Please, let me know, I'm just sick worrying about it. Skilsaw?
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  #24  
Old 03-10-2011, 12:24 PM
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Kaykate92 Kaykate92 is offline
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

If a man gives a woman flowers he is concidered homosexual? If he cooks in the kitchen he is concidered homosexual? This doesn't seem right to me. Ofcourse, like all of you I am against homosexuality. But I don't believe that you can 'sniff out' a homosexual just by looking at these 'common traits'. Especially the part about giving women flowers. I like flowers
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  #25  
Old 03-10-2011, 12:54 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaykate92 View Post
If a man gives a woman flowers he is concidered homosexual?
Yes.

Quote:
If he cooks in the kitchen he is concidered homosexual?
Yes!

Quote:
This doesn't seem right to me. Ofcourse, like all of you I am against homosexuality. But I don't believe that you can 'sniff out' a homosexual just by looking at these 'common traits'. Especially the part about giving women flowers. I like flowers
If you like flowers you are either a woman or a gay. Also it is never a good idea to give a woman gifts. It will just make them greedy and distract them from their duties.
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  #26  
Old 03-10-2011, 04:40 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by renaldude View Post
So now you call my Brother-in-law a homosexual because he lives there? Maybe you live there too, how else would you know the demographics so well? Please tell me sister, Thanks in advance.
I've lived in San Fransisco. However I am still NOT gay thanks to the Power of the Lord. That city was nothing but a never ending orgy of gay sex on the streets. Just unbelievable the amount of gay sex I saw there.
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  #27  
Old 03-10-2011, 05:59 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

What's this now with this "renaldude" - ? Now there are homosexual preversions which are fixated around... kidneys?

As if those Portnoy joos aren't bad enough with... livers
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  #28  
Old 03-11-2011, 04:31 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Back on subject (thanks a lot for derailing an important subject, "renaldude")...

Watches Japanimation
Has a cat instead of a dog
Has a small dog instead of a big dog
Eats fancy foreign foods like caviar, tofu, escargot, or spaghetti
Wears spandex
Rides a scooter
Wears a non-football related helmet (warning: could also signify a retarded, watch for drool to distinguish between the two)
Has been to an opera
Has been to the ballet
Enjoys any Clint Eastwood movie that doesn't also have guns or orangutans
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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
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All a-Twitter for Salvation!
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  #29  
Old 03-11-2011, 05:44 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

  • Can distinguish among shades of a color other than simply "light" and "dark"
  • Shaves any part of his body that is covered when he wears a business suit
  • Goes to art galleries (the following don't count: Thomas Kinkade galleries, the Freehold Gallery of Christian Art, the art sales at the Landover Baptist University for the Saved art department)
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  #30  
Old 03-11-2011, 07:28 PM
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Smile Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

  • Gets closer to any man by more than an arms length
  • Has buckets seats in a car or (Yikes!) his truck
  • Listens to any music other than Appalachian Gospel or good country
  • Does not toss his empties into the bed of his truck
  • Has a tail gate on his truck
  • Has a wife with a first name other than 'Woman'
  • Uses a 'push mower' and not a tractor to mow his lawn
  • Refuses to eat BBQ chicken wings
  • Does not play fantasy Football
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

Last edited by James Hutchins; 03-11-2011 at 08:39 PM.
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  #31  
Old 03-11-2011, 08:01 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
  • Refuses to eat BBQ chicken wings
God! NO!!!
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  #32  
Old 03-11-2011, 08:55 PM
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Callisto Callisto is offline
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.

There. That should about cover it.
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  #33  
Old 03-11-2011, 09:08 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.

There. That should about cover it.
Silence you thespain she-demon
  • Anyone who thinks the disabled and mentally shouldn't be sent to Siberia like Hitler did is a homosexual.
  • Anyone who wants to waste money on volcano and tsunami monitoring is a homosexual (FACT: no one in the history of Iowa as died from a tsunami in any coastal region of Iowa)
  • Anyone who isn't concerned about how many Muslims terrorists are in this country pretending to be law abiding citizens working productive jobs is a homosexual.
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  #34  
Old 03-11-2011, 10:45 PM
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

I think the scariest kind of homersexuals are the kind that practice sodomy with women. They'll do all sorts of things only homers would do, yet they fail to acknowledge their gayness!

Disgusting!
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  #35  
Old 03-12-2011, 12:39 AM
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Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester is offline
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford View Post
...Rides a cooter
Wait... did I get that right?



We Catholics have long understood that the practice of homosexuality is fruit of the forbidden tree as it were but we have always embraced the concept of hating the sin and loving the sinner.

Perhaps you Baptwits would do well to follow our successful example in dealing with Church members who are dyssexlic.

Remember... one billion fans of Jesus can't be wrong!



Bless you, my confused Chthonics,
Father Mo




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  #36  
Old 03-12-2011, 02:05 AM
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Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
Wait... did I get that right?
.
Typical papist. Take something out of context then twist it around to suit your own disgusting ends.
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  #37  
Old 03-12-2011, 02:49 AM
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AngelClark AngelClark is offline
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AngelClark is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.AngelClark is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
Wears a "fanny" pack
Carries a Swiss "Army" knife
Owns a Kindle
Is a member of the Sierra Club
Plays tennis
Vacations at "Sandals"
His favorite actor is "Shrek"
Owns a "personal grooming" kit


Holy Bible, batman!?! I own a Kindle, I just bought it off of Amazon last week. Although I am NOT a Homo.
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  #38  
Old 03-12-2011, 03:30 AM
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford View Post
Typical papist. Take something out of context then twist it around to suit your own disgusting ends.
In other words, the way Romanists read the Bible (insofar as they do so at all).
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Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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  #39  
Old 03-12-2011, 04:08 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.

There. That should about cover it.
That, plus they sin against God by being disgusting limp-wristed perverts.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #40  
Old 03-12-2011, 01:03 PM
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
- They have a sexual attraction towards the same sex.
- They have a romantic attraction towards the same sex.

There. That should about cover it.
  • They know perfectly well that what they do is an abomination unto the Lord.
  • So they hate Him for disapproving of their fun.
  • So they pretend that He doesn't exist.
  • So they persecute Christians, just as you have done.
There. That should about cover it.
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Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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