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Old 11-11-2014, 01:01 PM
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Default Why I don't drink water

Pure water is by definition halal
However, if it contains alcohol or pig parts, it is not halal.
Therefore, I only drink alcoholic drinks. Sometimes this is not the best of ideas. Does anyone sell pork water? I would be most interested in purchasing this. If it doesn't exist, maybe I should go into business.
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Old 11-11-2014, 02:05 PM
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Default Re: Why I don't drink water

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Pure water is by definition halal
However, if it contains alcohol or pig parts, it is not halal.
Therefore, I only drink alcoholic drinks. Sometimes this is not the best of ideas. Does anyone sell pork water? I would be most interested in purchasing this. If it doesn't exist, maybe I should go into business.
All things that The One True God creates are pure:
Ac:10:10: And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance,
Ac:10:11: And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth:
Ac:10:12: Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air.
Ac:10:13: And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat.
Ac:10:14: But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean.
Ac:10:15: And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.


The sniveling, false god, Allan, makes things that nobody can eat.

On the subject of water, in a baptism, water washes away the sins, it is therefore unwise to drink that water - all other water is OK.

Case closed.
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Old 11-12-2014, 01:19 AM
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Default Re: Why I don't drink water

I can do without water but what about ice? I don't think I could let that go.
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Old 11-12-2014, 04:33 AM
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Default Re: Why I don't drink water

I myself never drink water.

Fish fornicate in it.
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Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 11-12-2014, 04:54 AM
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Default Re: Why I don't drink water

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Pure water is by definition halal
However, if it contains alcohol or pig parts, it is not halal.
Therefore, I only drink alcoholic drinks. Sometimes this is not the best of ideas. Does anyone sell pork water? I would be most interested in purchasing this. If it doesn't exist, maybe I should go into business.
I think I have something just for you:


Quote:
Thirsty? How About A Side of Bacon Water? Just Add These Bacon Drink Tablets, Fo’Sizzle!


Have you ever longed for a cool refreshing glass of bacon flavored water? Well wait no longer.



First the Happy Meal is banned in San Francisco and now you can order a pork soda pop, has the world gone mad? Introducing Effervescent Bacon Drink Tablets, a cunning combination of pork, carbonation and good old-fashioned H2O, allowing us to literally make pigs of ourselves. Just place your order online at $3.50 a pop and soon a tin containing 15 small white round discs will be discreetly pushed through your letterbox. (Check out Smoky Sour – Recipes: Meat-Based Cocktails.)


If you drop one of these magic tablets into a glass of water it will instantly begin to dissolve, creating a cascade of bubbles that will infuse the water with a delicious bacon flavor.




But why limit yourself to water. These Effervescent Drink Tablets work just as well in milk, juice or soda. If this sizzling bacon drink doesn’t tickle your taste buds why not try the makers latest addition the Effervescent Cupcake Drink Tablets. The perfect stocking stuffer for the meat lover in your life and ideal for those with no time to eat in the mornings. (Read more in TIMES 5 Recipes for Bacon Desserts.)
Maybe we should put the tablets in alcohol too, cause alcohol is still kosher without pork
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- Pastor Ake Green
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Old 11-12-2014, 05:22 AM
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Default Re: Why I don't drink water

Wonderful. I'll order some right away.
I suppose I could mix them with some poor quality alcoholic drinks, but I could never taint my single malts, nor my fine shiraz with bacon, much as I love bacon.
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Old 11-12-2014, 05:25 AM
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Default Re: Why I don't drink water

When my wife cooks beef, chicken or lamb for me, I always tell her to put some pork broth into the mix, you know, just to be on the safe side.

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- Pastor Ake Green
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