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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

View Poll Results: Should I bash them with rocks or drown them slowly?
Bash their skulls! 36 21.95%
Drown them slowly! 95 57.93%
Other - Please explain 33 20.12%
Voters: 164. You may not vote on this poll

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  #141  
Old 02-17-2014, 02:10 AM
Bobby Greenwood Bobby Greenwood is offline
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Every single one of the millions who exist today and have done throughout history? And I mean all of them?
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  #142  
Old 02-17-2014, 07:53 AM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

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Originally Posted by Bobby Greenwood View Post
Every single one of the millions who exist today and have done throughout history? And I mean all of them?
Yes. All Catholics know that their church has organized and executed genocides in at least four of the five continents. All Catholics know that all their priests rape and abuse children. The only reason that anyone chooses to be a catholic is because they support this behavior. They donate money to their false church to pay for the genocides and child rape to happen, so yes, they are all active participants in genocide and pedosexuality.

We on the other hand follow God. We don't wear mixed fabrics or ever work on a Sunday. We are good people, as good as the Bible requires us to be.
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  #143  
Old 07-22-2014, 03:41 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

wow, thanks a lot for all this information!

Your witchcraft rituals are on a higher level!
You drowned a dozen of innocent baby creatures into a sacrifice to the god of the sea!
That's bruthal!

Also thoose tips about spirits and criatures and all that... Thoose was a high dominance of black magic!! I never though someone would reach that fearsome level!

Who do you pray to? the God of the Cross?

(this one)



Moloch, maybe?




Oh, no, I know!



It's Bephomet, right?

I never though I would acquire so much knowledge of witchcraft as in this webside. You are truly fearsome warlocks
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  #144  
Old 07-22-2014, 04:05 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

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Originally Posted by WickedMan View Post
Who do you pray to? the God of the Cross?
We pray to and receive grace from Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God.

Your silly rant is a day late and a dollar short. We are quite familiar with such false gods.
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  #145  
Old 07-22-2014, 04:29 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Jesus Christ? Oh you reffer to Tamuth, right? the god of the cross!



And don't tell me this isn't sorcery, because you bringed me back to the 1600's!
You can't say otherwise!
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  #146  
Old 07-22-2014, 11:21 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
I got a litter of kittens for my children a few months ago...However, they have recently started becoming willful and mischievous. One of the even scratched one of my sons and pushed my little girl, Anabella, in the face.


Can the pelts be used for anything?

The white one might make a really cute mini "bearskin rug" for a dollhouse...or just a conversation piece.

If they bleed, it could stain the fur....and they might scratch each other in a sack. So I would put them in a cozy box in a closed garage and let the car run for a while. That way, nothing's damaged if you want to make them into a crafts project.
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  #147  
Old 07-23-2014, 05:23 AM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

I find that .40cal aluminum hollow points get the job done quite nicely. If you set the kitten on a tree branch and walk about 75 feet away, you can really improve your marksmanship. Since god loves good marksmanship, you can honor him by improving yours... God made aluminum a frangible metal, therefore, aluminum hollow points make the kittens explode, which keeps the mess to a minimum.


(We all know the story of David and Goliath right? Where would David be without good aim and faith in God? Squashed under Goliath's foot!) Proof enough.


The same thing applies to mooslims, although it sure is fun to pack the hollow points with bacon first. They really seem to hate that.
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  #148  
Old 09-11-2014, 09:07 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

*The sounds of trumpets begins to fill the air*
"In a load booming voice, you hear a reply."

Yes! I would recommend doing it both ways. There is nothing wrong with bashing in their heads first, and then while they're still alive and perhaps unconscious, wake them back up to a semi-state of awareness and fervently drown them.
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  #149  
Old 09-12-2014, 03:01 AM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paymon View Post
*The sounds of trumpets begins to fill the air*
"In a load booming voice, you hear a reply."

Yes! I would recommend doing it both ways. There is nothing wrong with bashing in their heads first, and then while they're still alive and perhaps unconscious, wake them back up to a semi-state of awareness and fervently drown them.
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #150  
Old 09-12-2014, 08:15 AM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Isn't it true you can kill kittens just by masterbating?
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  #151  
Old 09-12-2014, 01:51 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Isn't it true you can kill kittens just by masterbating?
Yes, but it's someone else's kitty who dies.
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  #152  
Old 09-13-2014, 08:16 AM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Isn't it true you can kill kittens just by masterbating?
I think you'd have to have unusually good aim to pull that off. Anyway, True Christians™ do not commit the sin of Onanism.
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  #153  
Old 09-14-2014, 04:13 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

This violates the law and anyone doing this should be reported for animal cruelty. You will burn in hell for your sins. May god have mercy on your souls.
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  #154  
Old 09-14-2014, 04:56 PM
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
This violates the law and anyone doing this should be reported for animal cruelty. You will burn in hell for your sins. May god have mercy on your souls.
Kindly cite the Scripture that leads you to believe that God is willing to send a man to hell for disposing of a flock of rodents. Because my Bible doesn't say anything like that.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


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