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Satan's Entertainment Discussion for Movies/TV/Music/Video Games/Pop Culture. How HELLY-wood is destroying our society and parents can learn to protect their children from sinful influences like Disney, Pacman, and Tic-Tac-Toe.

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Old 09-26-2014, 09:43 PM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is online now
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Default Beware of "Christian Swingers" AKA Perverts

THESE perverts are headed for the deepest pits of hellfire, because they are not only adulterers, perverts and fornicators, they are doing it in Christ Jesus' name!

Quote:
Swinging For God

These Christian swingers use their multi sex partner lifestyle to preach the Gospel.

A Bible-thumping couple in Florida is changing the way people think about their faith — with a hookup website for devout Christian swingers!

Cristy Parave and her husband, Dean, are the unashamed bodybuilding Jesus lovers bringing couples together and introducing them to their wild lifestyle of swapping sex partners and Bible verses, Barcroft Media reports.

When the fitness gurus got sick of finding swingers online who couldn’t meet their standards, they decided to set up their own swinging network — FitnessSwingers.com. They have been touring the US ever since, meeting couples who want to join in and indulge in their holy promiscuity.

The couple first met at a bodybuilding competition, and simply don’t care what people say about their swinging. They firmly believe that despite their unfaithful marriages, the big guy upstairs doesn’t have a care in the world that they’re defiling their sacred vows.



“I don’t think God would be mad at what we are doing,” Cristy said. “At first I was conflicted, but the more we looked at it, the more it makes sense to us.”

The 44-year-old added that she felt mankind had been created to frolic and fornicate with one another.

“God put people on the Earth to breed and enjoy each other,” she told Barcroft. “I feel God is always with me and he has put us here for a reason.”

The hulking matchmakers have been together for seven years, according to Barcroft. They began their swinging escapades when the two met a brazen couple at Home Depot who blatantly asked them if they wanted to swing.

“I was so naive, I thought they were talking about swing dancing,” she said. “Afterwards we went home and looked it up online and it sounded exciting.”

Oh I'm sure it must sound exciting. But how does an everlasting eternity of being tortured in the flames of hell" where their worm dieth not" sound?

Quote:
Matthew 13:41-42
The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Mark 9:43-48
... into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #2  
Old 09-27-2014, 01:05 AM
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Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester is offline
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Default Re: Beware of "Christian Swingers" AKA Perverts

This does not surprise me in the least as Baptits prone to debauchery proliferate from group homes in the Florida pan-handle all the way to trailer parks in Lompoc.

My assistant, Brother Niall Downes, has been studying a well-known phenomenon in The Church whereupon non-Catholics line up for and participate in the blessed Sacrament of Confession.

You read that right... assuming you weren't home schooled in Freehold.

It seems these misguided souls are under the false belief (Who would have imagined cultists with false beliefs?) that by participating in Holy Confession their mortal transgressions are wiped away like traffic tickets contested in court when the issuing police fail to show for trial.

Wrong.

As much as I appreciate that deep down they are seeking forgiveness for their sins, there is no get out of eternal Hell card free for folks like this unless they have been properly baptized and are taking Confession as a prelude to their first Communion.

Our exit polling is extensive and we can determine within a plus or minus 2 percent accuracy that in areas where Baptwits are prevalent almost 11 percent of Confessions are for the imaginary benefit of sexual miscreants like those in the aforementioned article.

Of course we don't keep stats on Catholic confessions but we sure as heck do track the babble that tumbles out of the mouths of sinners like this who are too stupid to bother joining the one true Church and the one Church where forgiveness for sins like this is a kneel and a prayer or two away!

I would tell you more but that might spoil Brother Downes' upcoming exposé on this topic entitled "Sins of the Dims, a Scholarly Look at America's Dumbest Punters".

When the book is released I will ask Brother Downes to pop in and take a few questions from the crowd here. He has promised to use very small words in his replies so get prepared and do take a closer look at any Freehold couples who never seem to get married but spend a lot of time pie-swapping.




Bless you, my hose and whipper snappers,
Father Mo



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Old 09-27-2014, 02:00 AM
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Default Re: Beware of "Christian Swingers" AKA Perverts

As someone who spent hours honing his physique at the local gym, I have myself been tempted by beautiful seductresses like these.

But I heed The Lord.

Matthew 5:28: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

However, I suspect a poor wimpish man with purple hair has no chance but succumb to the whims of a firm, steamy, oil soaked siren.

I can't fathom the torture Satan has in store for him at the steely hands of this Jezebel.

Romans 8:6. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

In His Name.
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"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord."(Deuteronomy 23:1)

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
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Old 09-27-2014, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: Beware of "Christian Swingers" AKA Perverts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
THESE perverts are headed for the deepest pits of hellfire, because they are not only adulterers, perverts and fornicators, they are doing it in Christ Jesus' name!
Cristy Parave and her husband, Dean...
So the lead fornicator behind this pit of filth is actually called D. Prave? What a brilliantly fitting name. Someone needs to remind D. Prave that the only friend with benefits he needs is JESUS. God made Adam and Eve, not Eve and Jane and Jane's on-again-and-off-again buddy Pete and then Pete is also having a thing from time to time with Edith and Edith's thinking of maybe getting together with Mike but Mike's a bit shy and hard to read and she can't tell if he likes her and is just playing hard to get or if he's just genuinely not that keen, and so on and so forth. Sick, unnatural and just plain wrong!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Mo
Papist perversity snipped
Thank you for your thoughts on this matter, friend. Your opinions on this issue are highly relevant, seeing as Catholic priests have always been so good at upholding the tradition of marriage being between one man and one woman. Remind me, how's your wife doing again?
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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