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  #21  
Old 03-02-2012, 06:24 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Leviticus 18:22
22Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Translated:
Waz crackalackin', B? Werd. Ya'lls can't be snackin' on a cracka's sack, or packin' a nigga's bareback blackjack, ya herd? It be whack, son.
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  #22  
Old 03-02-2012, 07:51 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Following on from our application to join the third world, we have imported some Somalians.

For some reason they were out here (for a short time) last night and as it happened I was in a tree at about 3 a.m. spraying moths. They are quite depraved, I was horrified to observe, and I heard them "talking" to one another. I was reminded of the 23rd Psalm but for their ear it would need to be rendered:

Massa oh massa oh Bwana yo is my pimp fo sho
Lay me down here in da hydro til the water bed ripples no mo
Zip me up wid da good stuff an' hustle me back to yo yard, I'll make ya look good
An' da ho's an da bling an' da Big Black Bentley will no phaze me coz yo rod is fully sick
I'll sit beside yo an' so wot if dere's all dobermans under yo table? I kno dere's plenty fo everyone an' I'll be brimmin'
Cuz yo'll be keepin' 100% an' da shops will neva close.
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  #23  
Old 03-03-2012, 06:52 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #24  
Old 03-03-2012, 09:04 PM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Genesis 38
1And it came to pass at that time, that Judah went down from his brothers, and turned in to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah.
2And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite, whose name was Shua; and he took her, and went in unto her.
3And she conceived, and bore a son; and he called his name Errrrrrrrrrrr.
4And she conceived again, and bore a son; and she called his name Onan.
5And she yet again conceived, and bore a son; and called his name Shelah: and he was at Chezib, when she bore him.
6And Judah took a wife for Errrrrrrrrrrrr his firstborn, whose name was Tamar.
7And Errrrrrrrrrrrrr, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.
8And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto your brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up descendants to your brother.
9And Onan knew that the descendant would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give a descendant to his brother.
10And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: therefore he slew him also.


1N' dat shit was squashed then, Judah bounced from his brothas, he met dis Adullamite nigga, dis niggaz name was Hirah.
2N' Judah saw this fine bitch the shorty of Canaanite, the hoes name was Shua; he broke that bitch off proppa, busted a nut in that hoe.
3N' dat bitch got knocked up, she popped out a little nigga; n' he called da shorty Er.
4N' dat bitch got knocked up agin', she popped out a little nigga; n' she called dat nigga Onan.
5N' dat bitch got knocked up anotha time, she popped out a little nigga; n' named dat nigga Shelah: da nigga was down in Chezib, when he popped out.
6N' Judah snatched up this fine bitch fo' his oldest shorty Er, da hoes name was Tamar.
7N' Er, Judah's oldest shorty, G-dogg thought Er a schemin' nigga, n' G-Dogg bust a cap in his ass.
8N' Judah told his shorty Onan, Go bust a nut in yo brotha's bitch, n' lock that bitch down, n' raise up shorties fo' yo brotha.
9N' Onan knew dat the shorties wouldn't b his; what happin wuz, when he broke dat bitch off, he skeet skeet skeet his nut all over dat bitch, so dat he wouldn't knock that hoe up.
10N' bustin' a nut on that hoes face pissed off G-Dogg: Darfor, he popped a cap n' his ass 2.
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Exodus 21:20-21

20And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.
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  #25  
Old 03-05-2012, 10:30 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
One of my nigra servants has her little niglettes watching nigra cartoon shows like this one. Maybe it could help?

That is worse than Little Nigra Bill



Both should be banned from all networks.
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  #26  
Old 03-06-2012, 12:47 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Bit stretched for time here friends, but my humble addition.

KJV
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

Ebonics
1st Timothy 2:12 Bitch please, I be where I be...you gonna the store for colt 45...now shut you hole and make me a sammich to.
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  #27  
Old 04-11-2014, 08:12 PM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

I saw a link to this, and thought I'd have a humble stab at it.

Deuteronomy 22:11 Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together

Deuteronomy 22:11 Yo dawg! Dontcha kno ya aint spose to deck out dem two typs a threads, at da same damn tyme main!

I had a hard time with the "wool and linnen" part though! - any ideas?
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  #28  
Old 04-12-2014, 12:39 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eva_Christensen View Post
I saw a link to this, and thought I'd have a humble stab at it.

Deuteronomy 22:11 Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together

Deuteronomy 22:11 Yo dawg! Dontcha kno ya aint spose to deck out dem two typs a threads, at da same damn tyme main!

I had a hard time with the "wool and linnen" part though! - any ideas?
, Sister, do not contaminate The Lord's words with nigra gangster speak. It means do not wear anything with mixed fibers.
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  #29  
Old 04-12-2014, 01:03 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Is this going to be an audio book? Because, in my experience, the people who understand this gibberish can't read. In fact, they'll probably need to turn it into a rap song to get their attention. Or attach heroin to the package.
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  #30  
Old 04-12-2014, 01:28 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Thompson View Post
, Sister, do not contaminate The Lord's words with nigra gangster speak. It means do not wear anything with mixed fibers.
I am so sorry, I was having a woman's moment. Please forgive me, Brothers and Sisters.
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  #31  
Old 04-12-2014, 01:51 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Thompson View Post
I am so sorry, I was having a woman's moment. Please forgive me, Brothers and Sisters.
As a doctor, I have to deal with people of all races. I took this verse to work and showed it to one of the nigra patients I had to see today. (I wear gloves at all times, friends.)

His interpretation of the verse was to not wear clothing of mixed fabrics. So I do not believe any apology was needed here. Sister Eva, good work. After all, if a nigra can understand it, it has to be right! Give the glory to God - not to yourself.

Yours,
Doc
PS: My adoring wife, Jennifer, is careful to use cotton only when making her dresses, etc. I love that woman.
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  #32  
Old 04-12-2014, 02:15 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

I am pleased to assist with the Song of Solomon, chapter one, verses 1 through 8.

Yo, dis be da tune of my cat Solomon, peace, my brotha.
2. That bro gon be all up in my face, kissin me wif his big ol nigga lips, fo his love be bettah dan Colt 45, cuz.
3. He be smellin good, yo, cause he be putting on mad good creams know what I'm sayin, and all de hoes dat still be cherry be all up on him disco stick.
4. I will stalk yo behind if I haf to - the main man took me in his crib and I was all like, this is mad phat and praysin the lawd awmighty. Shooot, his lovin be bettah dan Courvoisier and diet coke, yo. You bettah stand up and reconize.
5. Yeh, I'm a nigga - you got beef? You aint gon find no coochy coochy this fine, brotha no wheres else. You sistahs behind dem tents in Kedar, and those drapes Solomon be havin didn't come from no dollah genral.
6. Don't be starin at my huge melons just cause they be some mighty fine ebony mofos. Yeah, they be like some white chick that spend all her time down to a tannin' bed, but this stuff be real, cuzn. Hell, mah moms kids got all pissed off an had me watch ovah the grapes and didn't leave me time fo my own m'fn grapes - now that's not cool.
7. So, give it up, cuzn where you like to eat at and where you gon take these smelly ass sheep right about noon cause I want me some 12:01 delight, that's right. You gon treat me bettah dan dose mofockers and yo homies, you best get that straight if you want some dis.
8. If you clueless, ya hunky beotch, get up on outa heah along with them lame-azz sheep and feed em ovah by yo other borin home boys just like my mammy, you know what I'm sayin?
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  #33  
Old 04-12-2014, 10:42 AM
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Eva_Christensen Eva_Christensen is offline
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Thompson View Post
I am so sorry, I was having a woman's moment. Please forgive me, Brothers and Sisters.

All forgiven Sister Mary. I too cried as i wrote it, but sometimes the end justifies the means.

Quote:
Originally Posted by M. Mansfield, MD View Post

His interpretation of the verse was to not wear clothing of mixed fabrics. So I do not believe any apology was needed here. Sister Eva, good work. After all, if a nigra can understand it, it has to be right! Give the glory to God - not to yourself
How wonderful Brother Mansfield! I am so happy that it made sense to him, as it barely did to me!
And what a wonderful translation of the song of Solomon!
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Last edited by Eva_Christensen; 04-12-2014 at 10:43 AM. Reason: quote
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  #34  
Old 04-14-2014, 02:01 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.





Now I had to ask someone about this, and was told that Jah [Strong's] [context] commanded cannabis, originally a transliteration of canabosem I was informed, to be used in worship combined with some other spices and olive oil, either by rubbing onto the skin (a demonstration of this was offered but I declined) or by pouring it onto heated objects and inhaling the fumes (another demonstration was offered) or even by combining the whole lot with spelt flour and turning it into muffins (I was offered a muffin but my informant was starting to look unreliable so I moved to a different bean-bag and almost fell over). He gave me some references which I am including here. Why on earth do these people use bean-bags when chairs are available?


EXODUS 30
22
Moreover the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
23 Take thou also unto thee principal spices, of pure myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet cinnamon half so much, even two hundred and fifty shekels, and of sweet calamus two hundred and fifty shekels,
24 And of cassia five hundred shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary, and of oil olive an hin:
KJV .. cannabis?. cfBrown-Driver-Briggs .. context


Well this was all sounding rather tenuous, why would anyone go to such lengths to conceal the identity of canabosem since as far as I'm aware you could eat cannabis til you were blue in the face in 1611 "..or rub it in mixed with oil and spices" my informant interjected uncorking a very suspicious looking bottled which did actually smell quite nice but his eyes were looking like oysters by this time and there was still another Scripture reference to look up so I tried to stand up for a rapid exit if necessary but had some difficulty and although I did manage it, since he was still at floor level, it proved not such a good idea after all and I sat down again.


ISAIAH 43
24
Thou hast bought me no sweet cane with money, neither hast thou filled me with the fat of thy sacrifices: but thou hast made me to serve with thy sins, thou hast wearied me with thine iniquities.
25 I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.
KJV .. cana–_[Strong's] .. context



Here, according to the ebonic paradigm, we have I and I, obfuscated with an "even" and an "am" and I checked that out and it is a pronoun (not the proper noun translated as I AM elsewhere) [Strong's] so there wasn't much more advice related to this passage to gather here, I thought. Whatever was in the bottle didn't seem to be having a very good effect on my host who was becoming rather oily and so I decided to leave, which meant trying to stand up again. If you've ever had the experience of expecting someone to be drowsy when in fact they are highly stimulated (but just not moving) you will appreciate my surprise when he sprang out of the bean-bag like a startled gazelle, grabbed my hands & launched me up into the standing position.


Jah mix de ganja wit oil an cinnamon wit de myrrh an de cassia an Jah annoint de one Jah love.

I an I disappointed yo come to see me wit no money, no sweet ganja cane, no nutin xcept to serve in sin but I an I overlook it this time if yo fone yo friend an yos both nice to me, Jah say.




It was time to leave. . . I'd had quite enough of fragrant stalks for one day, thank you very much.
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  #35  
Old 04-15-2014, 10:02 PM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Genesis 3:1-24

1 Dat snake be smooth like a mo'fo' an he laid down some jive on Eve, sez "Y'all be eatin' deez hur fruits?"
2 Eve be like "Sho' nuff."
3 "Not dat one in da middle tho, dat shit kill a nigga."
4 Snake be like "Nigga please"
5 "Ain't gonna kills y'all. G-Dawg just don't want y'alls all up in his face, talkin bout good and bad and shit."
6 Den Eve she sees dat fruit juicy like a seedless watermelon. So she chowed down and gib some to Adam too.
7 Den Eve she sees Adam with his junk all hangin loose and she be like "You best be takin dis hur fig leaf. Ain't no body wanna see dat!"
8 Den G-Dawg come struttin, but Adam and Eve be creepin' like they fixin to rob the joint.
9 An G-dawg hollas "Where mah dogs at?"
10 An Adam be like "Don't be trippin, I just be gettin my threads right."
11 Den G-Dawg sez "Whachu taking bout threads? Y'all bin up in my fruits?
12 Adam be like "Dat hoochie mama bin messin' roud, gib me some eats."
13 So G-dawg be like "Girl, whatchu dun did?" And Eve be like "Dat snake dun tricked me."
14 An G-dawg he told dat Snake "You dun did it now. I'ma stomp you so bad, you be eating dirt"
15 "An Eve, don't you be messin wit dat snake no more. He come round, you best kick him to da curb."
16 "You gonna be sorry you ate mah fruits too. Next time you knocked up, shit gonna hurt fo' reals."
17 He sez to Adam "You let dat bitch boss you around? You some pussy whipped nigga. Ain't you gonna git no mo' watermelon. Nigga be eatin collard greens if you lucky."
18 "Shit gonna have thorns an shit too."
19 "You on bread an water till' you dead as a mo'fo'."
20 Den Adam be like "Ho get yo ass over hur."
21 An G-dawg gib dem sum threads.
22 An G-dawg sez "Y'all sum uppity niggas now. I don't need y'all hangin round too long."
23 So he kicked dem to the curb.
24 An he locked dat garden up tight, sent some serious playas wit fire and shit to keep dem out.
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  #36  
Old 04-18-2014, 03:15 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
Hey gang,

I'm looking for some volunteers to help me translate the Bible into Ebonics.

I just need you guys to help with whatever random scripture you feel like translating. It doesn't need to be in any particular order. I have a team in place that will help us with putting things into the correct order of the Bible.

The translation is open to civil discussion as well. We want to make this extremely important undertaking to be as accurate as possible, so the coloreds can read their Bible.

It goes without saying that we will either be using the Textus Receptus for our Greek work and the KJV for comparison to English.

You will have the opportunity to touch a darkie's life by speaking to them in their own language.


Adorable aren't they?

I guess I'll start with Matthew 1.

18Yo dis how Jesus be comin into dis world: When he mama Mary was bout to get marryed to this nigga Joseph, before she had even used her coochie on him, bitch was knocked up by God.
19Joe be her man now. I guess they got married even do the bitch was pregnant, find out this ho had da babby humps now. He be thinkn he leave her all quiet like your daddy prolly did.
20 Fore he could do it this 7ft tall cracker came to he dream and say, "Say nigga, get yo drunk ass off the couch and get a job. God tapped dat ass beefo you did. Now deal wit dat shit and raise it fo Him, nigga.
Dear Pastor, Once this project is done, I would like to purchase a few copies. You see, I live in Richmond, Virginia (which was/is the capital of the Confederacy). My husband and I own several darkies. I think a copy of the Bible in their own language would be a wonderful gift to give them. Please let us know when this project is complete.
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Old 04-18-2014, 03:36 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

I did an internet search and found this. I'm not sure what it is, because I don't speak nigra. But it seems like some sort of prayer.


Ebonics Prayers from the BibleOUR FATHER (BIG DADDY):
Muh Nigga, Dat Be In Heaven, Chillin' Be Thy Name, Yo. I Get Me Some, My Ho' Is Fun, On Foot Toward 7-11. Gimmie Some Loot, Or I'll Shoot You Dead, & Give Out Some Guest Passes, As We Go To Shows, Via The Bus, & Troop Us Not Into Temptation, But Deliver Us From Whitey, WORD!!
Again, this is not my translation.
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Old 04-18-2014, 03:50 AM
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Default Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project.

Oh, please disregard my last post. I told one of my nigra house slaves about the ebonics Bible project, and she was so excited. I told her I needed help, so I recited the Lord's Prayer to her. She translated it into ebonics for me.

LORD'S PRAYER (correct version)
Our father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom forever
Amen

EBONICS version titled: Big Daddy's Rap
Yo, Big Daddy upstairs,
You be chillin
So be yo hood
You be sayin' it, I be doin' it
In this ere hood and yo's
Gimme some eats
And cut me some slack, Blood
So's I be doin' it to dem dat diss me
Don' be pushin' me into no jive
And keep dem crips away
'Cause you always be da man,
Straight up
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