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Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more!

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Old 12-24-2013, 01:37 AM
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Default Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation

As you know, I refuse to let anybody in my family get flu shots. Consequently, we're all doing a lot of sniffling and sneezing right now, what with it being the middle of cold and flu season. We're doubling down on our regimen of prayer, vitamin C, and excellent homeopathic remedies, but our need for Kleenex is still great enough that I thought I'd save a little money and order in bulk from Amazon.



Well you can probably imagine my dismay when I read the following customer review, by one Mrs. James O. Thatch:

Quote:

A mother's struggle

I want to start this off by thanking Kleenex for selling these in 36-packs. I've put it on subscription, and if they want to start selling a 72-pack, sign me up. I have three reasons for needing this much Kleenex, and their names are Liam, Samuel and Hank.

This is how it goes in this house. First the Kleenex disappears. Then the toilet paper. Then they go for fabrics. And you don't want it to get there, unless you're ready to invest in a five gallon drum of Fabreeze.

This used to be a good Christian home. But it's not about moral judgment anymore. I'm way beyond that. I'm in survival mode. If I don't supply absorbent paper products, I'm going to find my dish towels hidden in the basement, stiff as aluminum. The other day, I almost cut my hand on a sock. I am sorry to speak so frankly, but with three teenage boys, a woman has got to be practical.

The funny part is, they think they're being sneaky, with their 45 minute showers and sudden need for "privacy", as if I'm going to walk in on them journaling. They slink around the house like unfixed cats, while I try to announce my location at all times. No one needs to ask me to knock anymore. I knock on the walls. I practically wear a cow bell. I'm not looking to catch anyone by surprise, believe me. I'm just trying to get through this.

The other day my husband was watching me unload the groceries, and he asks me, all sweetness and light, "Honey, what're you doing with all that Kleenex?"

I about knocked him off his chair.

There is just so much wrong here. How can a mother be so weak that she just cedes control of her home to her sons' baser impulses? She didn't say whether this is a Christian household, but the man of the house is clearly weak and lazy, for he has all but abdicated the throne God wants him to sit upon:

Quote:
Ephesians 5:23

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
This is all too common these days, so I won't even trouble the fathers here to even address this issue. Instead, I'm taking this question right to the Christian mothers among us, because, let's face facts, it's you ladies who are the soldiers on the front lines of the war against masturbation.

Please share your tips and tricks for keeping the self abuse demon out of your homes!
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Old 12-24-2013, 02:26 AM
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Default Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation

Just remind your teenage boys:





That should be enough to stop them, if you've raised them correctly.
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Old 12-24-2013, 05:26 AM
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Default Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation

My world-famous Steps in Overcoming Masturbation is the best help available to Christians struggling with the perversion of spilling their sweet, precious seed.

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Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 12-24-2013, 08:35 AM
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Default Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
My world-famous Steps in Overcoming Masturbation is the best help available to Christians struggling with the perversion of spilling their sweet, precious seed.
Glory! As Pastor Zeke as said many times give Pastor Zeke two hours with a young man in locked room and Jesus at the end of it that young man will never think dirty thoughts about women ever again!

Frankly it doesn't help most women dress like she-harlots these days but with Christ help we can beat the masterbation habit!
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Old 12-24-2013, 10:12 AM
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Default Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation

During my years as a smack shooting, Goetic wizard, I would sometimes masturbate for days at a time, channelling the sexual energy like a weapon into the minds of my enemies, driving them irreversibly insane and feeding their astral bodies to my praeternatural familiars.

Eventually these contemptible practices attracted the displeasure of Christ Jesus, who had me imprisoned as protection against the Mesmeric phantoms that had all but usurped my very soul. Raped with claw hammers by a gang of Odinists within the day, my colon went missing during the resultant rectal prolapse, and now most likely regales the altar of my former enemies. I believe my anus was specifically targeted (perhaps by reptilians) to extract the dark power I had stored up inside of it. God knows the horrors they have committed in this world and others, wielding a weapon of such magnitude, if they did not destroy themselves in the process.

Anyway, that is what masturbation will get you.
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