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  #1  
Old 12-14-2012, 12:23 AM
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Smile Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Just what it says on the wrapper: Give us your best impersonation of the sort of pseudo-Christian space cadet who only thinks he's saved. I'll start.

You Landover Baptists are a bunch of evil, hate-filled, backwoods redneck hicks, and you'll be the first ones to go to hell. How can you not know that only God is allowed to judge?
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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  #2  
Old 12-14-2012, 12:46 AM
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

The Old Testament doesn't apply except the ten commandments, Psalms and Proverbs, but only the parts of them I happen to agree with my 21st century sense of morality.

The other parts are merely ceremonial laws that were only meant for the Jews.

Who decides what I follow and don't? Um, Jesus whispers it in my ear. Yeah, the Holy Spirit tells me what I should follow or not.
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

Contact me for private counseling. levijoneslbc@gmail.com



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  #3  
Old 12-14-2012, 12:53 AM
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

I follow every word of the New Testament, except the parts I don't like. The parts I don't like were only meant between Jesus and His disciples, Jesus and the Pharisees or between Paul and the church he was writing to. And the parts of Revelation I don't like, are all symbolic.
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

Contact me for private counseling. levijoneslbc@gmail.com



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  #4  
Old 12-14-2012, 01:03 AM
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Jesus never said anything about homosexuality; therefore, you shouldn't, either.

(True Christian™ quotes the Epistles)

Excuse me, but it's called Christianity, not Paulianity.
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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  #5  
Old 12-14-2012, 01:09 AM
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post

Excuse me, but it's called Christianity, not Paulianity.
And Jesus came to do away with the law.

(True Christian™ shows where Jesus tells us to follow the Law in the Gospels.)

Well, check out Colossians, Galatians, Romans and 1 Corinthians that I think say He did come to do away with the Old Testament Law!
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

Contact me for private counseling. levijoneslbc@gmail.com



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  #6  
Old 12-14-2012, 01:13 AM
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Jesus loved everyone sooo much, that he died on the cross for everyone to go to Heaven, whether they knew it and believed or not. Cathlics will go to Heaven, and hindus will go to Heaven, and mooslims will go to Heaven, and especially Native Americans who were like the first pagans and close to nature and stuff, they will go to Heaven too.


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  #7  
Old 12-14-2012, 05:12 AM
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Pim Pendergast Pim Pendergast is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

The Flood wasn't really global; it was just a local flooding of the Mesopotamian Basin. That's why God set the rainbow in the sky, as a reminder of His promise that He would never send any more local floods. Genesis 1 isn't meant to be taken literally either. There's just too much scientific evidence to the contrary. God made the world over billions of years and allowed evolution to give us the species we have today.

I like my NIV because it cuts out some of the unfavourable passages in the KJV and uses language I can understand better.
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Gen 6:6-7 And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
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  #8  
Old 12-14-2012, 05:27 AM
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VictoryOS VictoryOS is online now
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16! Jesus loves everyone regardless of what sins or blasphemies they commit. Now excuse me, I have to go engage in homosexual activities and save the whales and smoke drugs.
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  #9  
Old 12-14-2012, 05:40 AM
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Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Some people take the Bible waaaaay too seriously. It's more of a guideline than specific rules.
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Old 12-14-2012, 05:43 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Jesus didn't really hate queers. He never talked about them, God loves everyone, and anyway times have changed.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #11  
Old 12-14-2012, 06:53 AM
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Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson is offline
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Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

The King James is a horrible translation. Modern scholars are so much more in tune with what Jesus said and meant than they were 400 years ago!
They didn't even have computers then!
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  #12  
Old 12-14-2012, 01:20 PM
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

The Bible is a collection of myths, mistranslations, and moral codes that may have made sense back then — except for the parts that I like, which are a crystal clear expression of God's eternal will.
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  #13  
Old 12-14-2012, 01:59 PM
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Pim Pendergast Pim Pendergast is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Animals go to heaven. Children aren't in danger of being sent to hell until they reach the age of accountability (that's a doctrine I made up without any basis in Scripture). People who live in remote places that have never heard the Gospel might go to heaven after they die if they lived a good life. I'll just ignore Romans 1 and John 14:6.
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Gen 6:6-7 And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
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  #14  
Old 12-14-2012, 02:24 PM
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

What you're saying is just so hurtful. The God I know is a God of love, and He would never mean such a thing. You have to be interpreting it wrong.
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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  #15  
Old 12-14-2012, 04:03 PM
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John Creeser John Creeser is online now
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Have I read the Bible? Well, some New Testament passages, but I don't need to read all of it - I have a personal relationship with God.
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  #16  
Old 12-14-2012, 08:56 PM
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Bob4God Bob4God is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

JUDGE NOT, LEST YOU BE JUDGED!

Christ taught us to love each other no matter what, not to hate!
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  #17  
Old 12-14-2012, 09:50 PM
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Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
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Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Jesus said to love your neighbor, and everybody is your neighbor!
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  #18  
Old 12-14-2012, 09:51 PM
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Love the sinner; hate the sin. That's in the Bible somewhere, right?
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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  #19  
Old 12-14-2012, 10:07 PM
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Didymus Much Didymus Much is online now
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
Love the sinner; hate the sin. That's in the Bible somewhere, right?
Right after the bit where Jesus says God created all men humans equal.
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1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" The Bible confounds me; does that mean...
“A universe simple enough to be understood is too simple to produce a mind capable of understanding it.” — John David Barrow, FRS
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  #20  
Old 12-15-2012, 04:43 AM
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Pim Pendergast Pim Pendergast is offline
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Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian!

I'm sure all those children killed in the Connecticut school shooting are now in the loving embrace of Jesus, while the gunman is now burning in hell -- even though he may have repented just as he was committing suicide. God didn't will this to happen; He simply allowed it to happen.
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Gen 6:6-7 And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
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