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Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

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Old 12-18-2013, 08:56 PM
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Default Jesus Preempts Fornication and Whoredom

Fellow Christians, correct me if I'm wrong here but it looks like our Lord displayed His infinite mercy by taking 86-year-old Johnny Orris in the nick of time before he had the chance commit the sin of fornication at the Bunny Ranch. Let us all pray that Johnny is in Heaven right now enjoying a brew with Jesus.

The same can't be said for his grandson Ed who set him up for this encounter. Ed still has some time to repent before being cast into the Lake of Fire.

Quote:
Howard Stern Contest Winner Won Date With Prostitutes Died Minutes Before Getting Laid
12/13/2013 9:15 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

The elderly grandpa who won a date with 2 prostitutes on the Howard Stern Show choked and died last night ... just before he was going to have sex for the first time in years ... TMZ has learned.

We've confirmed 86-year-old Johnny Orris died in a Lake Tahoe hospital last night ... after choking on his steak at a local restaurant.

Orris appeared on the Stern show back in October with his grandson ... who had entered him in a contest called "I Want To Get My Grandpa Laid." Orris said his wife had died more than a decade ago ... and he hadn't had sex since. He said he fantasized about big-breasted black women.

On the show, Orris won a date with two prostitutes from the famed Bunny Ranch in Nevada ... and flew to Lake Tahoe to claim his prize.

Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof tells us Orris came to the ranch last night and chose 2 gorgeous working girls he wanted to have sex with -- Caressa Kisses and Vanity. But before consummating the date ... Orris went out for a nice dinner with his grandson, Ed.

We're told Orris ordered the steak at Sage Room Steakhouse at Harvey's Lake Tahoe ... and began to choke on it. Ed and the maitre d' immediately began CPR ... and Johnny was transported by ambulance to a hospital where he was pronounced dead.

Hof tells us, "He just wanted a steak before having sex with Caressa Kisses and Vanity. The bunnies loved him."

And this is hilarious ... Ed tells us, he felt bad leaving the Ranch without sampling the goods -- especially after traveling so far -- so he banged one of the hookers after his grandpa died. Not Caressa or Vanity, though. That would have been weird.

The best part ... Hof let Ed use his grandpa's coupon for one free roll in the hay.

http://www.tmz.com/2013/12/13/howard...ch-dennis-hof/
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Old 12-19-2013, 04:31 AM
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Default Re: Jesus Preempts Fornication and Whoredom

You may be right that Jesus took the old man out to save him from sin.

I have another theory I wish the police would check out. How about this grandson, "Ed"? After his grandpa died, Ed used Grandpa's coupon for a free hooker. Might we wonder if Ed had his eye on that coupon? Might that be the reason Grandpa is no long with us?

Just wondering.
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Old 12-19-2013, 05:13 AM
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Default Re: Jesus Preempts Fornication and Whoredom

A sobering thought Mayor - I am so filled with the Love of Jesus during this Holiday season that it didn't occur to me that there might be something sinister going on here.

By all accounts it does add up - at least circumstantially.

Motive: Take a look at those pictures on TMZ (I'm certainly not going to post them here, nor the link to the Bunny Ranch web site).

Means: Grandson bribes waiter to serve the old man an especially gristly cut of steak.

Opportunity: Grandson was with him the entire time.
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