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  #1  
Old 10-21-2013, 05:58 PM
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Default Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Brothers and sisters, I have been away from this Godly forum for a couple of weeks through no fault of my own.

I have finally left Italy and am back in England, a country that may be just as Godless but at least it's not Cathlick and it's 1,000 miles closer to Freehold. It has taken a while to get an internet connection set up, so in the meantime I bought a "dongle" (I apologise for the obscene-sounding word) from a company called T-Mobile.

Imagine the horror when I tried to access Landover Baptist and was assailed with a message informing me that the site was BLOCKED as being unsuitable for minors. I was then asked to provide them with a credit card number, supposedly as evidence that I was over 18.

This I refused to do. Any organisation that doubts the credentials of Landover Baptist is not to be trusted with personal financial information. But really, HOW DARE THEY suggest that God's favourite website is unsuitable for anyone? So please pray for them to receive the punishment they so richly deserve.

It's good to be back among you, my friends!

Yours in Christ
Attila's Wife
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:51 PM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

My prayers will join your's, Sister, that the English telephone system may be destroyed by God's wrath.

I believe they are trying to get themselves involved with the tithe as well. That's what happens when you let godless communists run the government. This entire incident is probably connected with the Obama Care fiasco.

Oh, Lord, please destroy the English telephone company called T-Mobile and save us from these internet problems caused by President Obama. I think we have a T-Mobile here in America too and I guess it would be best to go on and and destroy them for good measure. This we beseech thee. Amen.
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Last edited by Alvin Moss; 10-21-2013 at 06:51 PM. Reason: attrocious spelling
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Old 10-21-2013, 07:15 PM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Sorry to hear of your experience Sister, but it is not uncommon to hear of any number of attempts to block the one true Word of God in this day and age.

T-Mobile is owned by the krauts - Telekom Deutschland GmbH (Gesellschaft mit beschränkter Haftung), and it wouldn't surprise me, given the any number of false religious cults in Germany, that the cathylicks and lutonians are high on the list of likely suspects behind this conspiracy.
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Old 10-21-2013, 09:39 PM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife View Post
Imagine the horror when I tried to access Landover Baptist and was assailed with a message informing me that the site was BLOCKED as being unsuitable for minors.
It comes as no surprise to me that a country where a person who hates God so much he can make a living by offending Christians (yes, I'm talking about Richard Dawkins here), that forces Homosexuality and paganism to preschoolers, also refuses to allow children to know the Saving Word of God.
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Old 10-22-2013, 12:42 AM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

I asked Jesus to give the people who run T-Mobile really bad cases of hives.
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Old 10-22-2013, 07:36 AM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

My company installed a new firewall, and Landover came up blocked in the category of "hate speech."

I went to the IT department and explained that there are a lot of people (atheists, racially exercised nigras, gaysexuals) who come to the site to persecute us, and their foul language probably triggered the filter.

The IT manager is a young man, 23, who shaves twice week and has long, blond hair in a pony tail. I have always objected to this as 1 Corinthians 11:14 tells us that a man should cut his hair. He was not terribly receptive to my arguments at the beginning, but I leaned forward, put my hands on his knees, looked him straight in the blue/green eyes and said "Years ago, I was a fornicator, pornicator, and fellator. But I met a True Christian one day who said to me 'You have a God shaped hole in your heart and only Jesus can fill it.' And without my Landover forum, I feel that same emptiness. I need you to fill my hole."

At that moment, I dropped to me knees and raised my hands in prayer. James 3:5 occurred to my mind so knew my actions would be persuasive, and he was touched, and within mere moments he came to my point of view. He thus unblocked the site and here I am, ministering to the faithful and the unfaithful alike.

Now, if I could just get him to cut his hair, as Jesus commands.....
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Old 11-02-2013, 08:46 PM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Quote:
Originally Posted by ExGay Alex View Post
My company installed a new firewall, and Landover came up blocked in the category of "hate speech."

I went to the IT department and explained that there are a lot of people (atheists, racially exercised nigras, gaysexuals) who come to the site to persecute us, and their foul language probably triggered the filter.

The IT manager is a young man, 23, who shaves twice week and has long, blond hair in a pony tail. I have always objected to this as 1 Corinthians 11:14 tells us that a man should cut his hair. He was not terribly receptive to my arguments at the beginning, but I leaned forward, put my hands on his knees, looked him straight in the blue/green eyes and said "Years ago, I was a fornicator, pornicator, and fellator. But I met a True Christian one day who said to me 'You have a God shaped hole in your heart and only Jesus can fill it.' And without my Landover forum, I feel that same emptiness. I need you to fill my hole."

At that moment, I dropped to me knees and raised my hands in prayer. James 3:5 occurred to my mind so knew my actions would be persuasive, and he was touched, and within mere moments he came to my point of view. He thus unblocked the site and here I am, ministering to the faithful and the unfaithful alike.

Now, if I could just get him to cut his hair, as Jesus commands.....
Shout GLORY! I envisioned your story in my mind so vividly that I arose and had to ejaculate my congratulations in this victory over satanic technology freaks with long hair. I have uttered a fervent prayer that your IT guy finds a barber, in JESUS name.

Like your company, my employer has also blocked Landover. Unfortunately, our IT department is in another city almost 2.5 hours away. We do have one person that fixes minor things, but he is a Lutheran with long white hair and his name is Gary. I do not pray for Lutherans, since I feel they are merely lukewarm catholics.

Let's embrace in Christian love one day, my friend.

Brother Larry
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  #8  
Old 11-02-2013, 10:06 PM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Quote:
Originally Posted by ExGay Alex View Post
The IT manager is a young man, 23, who shaves twice week and has long, blond hair in a pony tail. I leaned forward, put my hands on his knees, looked him straight in the blue/green eyes and said "... I need you to fill my hole."

At that moment, I dropped to me knees and raised my hands in prayer. James 3:5 occurred to my mind so knew my actions would be persuasive, and he was touched, and within mere moments he came to my point of view. He thus unblocked the site and here I am, ministering to the faithful and the unfaithful alike.

Now, if I could just get him to cut his hair, as Jesus commands.....
Sure, you allowed him to fill the hole in your butt, err, I mean, heart. Mankind's newest profession.

By the way, I even support unblocking this site, since I strongly despise any kind of censorship.
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Old 11-09-2013, 05:45 PM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Just to give you all an update on my dealings with this company, you'll be pleased to hear that I have registered a strong protest.

I decided to switch phone networks, and called T-Mobile to obtain the necessary reference code to transfer my existing number to the new network. Naturally, the minion in the call center asked why I was making the switch. I explained to her that the company she works for deliberately and maliciously blocks access to God's Favorite Forum and that Galatians 6:7 applies just as much to corporate entities as to men and women.

When she attempted to argue with me, I threatened to report her for religious persecution, quoted 1 Timothy 2:11 and hung up.

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Old 11-12-2013, 09:36 AM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company



Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before you, your humble and lowly servant, to beseech you to smite T-Mobile with a huge swarm of AIDS infested locusts to descend upon and devour their transmitting equipment. Their horrid act of blocking your favorite site from their filthy network surely warrants this Holy action.

I pray also, loving Father, that the diseased locusts force and worm their way into the mouths, noses, ears and various other orifices of the employees of this company and deliver unto them your virus to punish the wicked.

In Jesus' Holy Name,

Amen.
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:13 AM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Quote:
Originally Posted by unworthyofgrace View Post


Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before you, your humble and lowly servant, to beseech you to smite T-Mobile with a huge swarm of AIDS infested locusts to descend upon and devour their transmitting equipment. Their horrid act of blocking your favorite site from their filthy network surely warrants this Holy action.

I pray also, loving Father, that the diseased locusts force and worm their way into the mouths, noses, ears and various other orifices of the employees of this company and deliver unto them your virus to punish the wicked.

In Jesus' Holy Name,

Amen.
Dearest LORD,

We claim the promises of Thy word:

Psalms 105:34 He spake, and the locusts came: and catterpillers, and that without number
AND

Matthew 18:18 Uerily I say vnto you, Whatsoeuer ye shall binde on earth, shall bee bound in heauen: and whatsoeuer yee shall loose on earth, shall bee loosed in heauen.
I agree with the prayer of my brother and ask that Thou maketh the locusts really ugly ones; all scary and stuff. Maybe give them heads as unto Rosie O'Donnell; yea, even like unto Rosie, with voices of Yoko Ono. But suffer not these locusts to harm anyone that knoweth Thee or keepeth Thy Word in his heart. In HIS name, AMEN and AMEN
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Old 11-14-2013, 12:43 AM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

I will indeed join in on this prayer.
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Old 11-14-2013, 07:40 PM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

Thank you all, Brothers and Sisters, for your support. And once more, thanks to the power of prayer, there is good news to report!

For those of you (surely very few) who do not have a subscription to the Financial Times, here is the story:

Quote:
T-Mobile fell 3.3 per cent to $26.09 after offering nearly $2bn in new shares that it said could be used to buy wireless airwaves, Reuters reports, amid an overall weaker US stock market.
The US’s fourth-largest mobile-phone carrier announced late on Monday an offering of up to roughly 72m shares and said was considering buying spectrum from an unidentified private party using proceeds from the sale. The share sale could represent the fourth-biggest secondary offering so far this year, according to Reuters data.
1 John 3:22 : And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

GLORY!

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Old 11-16-2013, 07:03 AM
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Default Re: Pray for Our Lord to smite this British phone company

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Originally Posted by Attila's Wife View Post
Thank you all, Brothers and Sisters, for your support. And once more, thanks to the power of prayer, there is good news to report!

For those of you (surely very few) who do not have a subscription to the Financial Times, here is the story:

1 John 3:22 : And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

GLORY!

YiC
AW
Shout GLORY!!!!!
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Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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