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  #1  
Old 12-31-2013, 05:31 AM
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Default Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

THIS kind of story makes me shake my head in despair. The darkies are just incapable of comprehending the majesty of Christ.

Quote:
Pastor Drowns When He Attempts To Walk On Water

A news organization,WORLDNETDAILY has reported the following unfortunate incident: “An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus’ miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle, and he attempted it from a beach in Gabon’s capital of Libreville.

‘He told churchgoers he’d had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus,’ an eyewitness told theGlasgow Daily Record. ‘He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back.’ A researcher at Florida State University believes he has a natural explanation for the account of Jesus’ miraculous walk on the surface of water — ice. Professor of Oceanography Doron Nof and the co-authors of his study theorize that a rare combination of optimal water and atmospheric conditions resulted in a unique, localized freezing phenomenon called ‘springs ice.’

"This horrible incident, together with a “professor’s” response, progresses from the tragically untaught to the supremely obtuse. The Tragedy of Ignorance“‘Pastor’ Kabele” obviously was a very sincere man; but sincerity does not nullify ignorance. I do not use this term in a pejorative way. All of us are ignorant in some matters. It’s just that sometimes one form of ignorance can have a greater consequence than others. In the first place it should be noted that “revelations” from God do not occur today. When the Old Testament era came to an end in Malachi’s day, 400 years passed with no “revelations” from God.

This era frequently is described as “the four silent centuries.” With the coming of a new age, from the commencement of Jesus’ ministry to the death of the apostle John, there was another relatively brief period when supernatural revelation and signs were manifest. When the New Testament was completed, and the apostles and other people possessing miraculous abilities died, no further signs were provided.

Had poor Mr. Kabele known his Bible better, he would not have attempted his “miracle” feat; had he possessed a moderate amount of common sense, he quickly would have discovered he could not “walk on water,” before the sea finally took him.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #2  
Old 12-31-2013, 07:23 AM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Darwin wins this round, I guess. (but )
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Old 12-31-2013, 11:38 AM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Just goes to show that this man did not have enough faith in Jesus and so Jesus Smote him with the drowning.

When will people realise that not just any old man can be a Pastor? And thank God that Jesus sent this obvious liar as a clear and obvious message that He loves us and we should love Him I have never met a True Christian™ who has drowned.

Only sinners drown: that is the message.

YIC
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1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Old 12-31-2013, 12:21 PM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

I despair of Africa. Did nobody even think to video it on their phone?
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Old 12-31-2013, 01:58 PM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Good grief, what is that "professor" talking about Jesus walking on ice? What a nutjob.



Don't you think that if Jesus would've walked on ice it would've been DESCRIBED that way? Ice and snow and frost are all mentioned in the Bible, so it isn't like God invented them after this miracle.

Some people.

YiC,

Zech
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Old 12-31-2013, 03:45 PM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
Just goes to show that this man did not have enough faith in Jesus and so Jesus Smote him with the drowning.
Oh AMEN Brother! Why, if one, just one person was Saved by watching this false shepherd being ushered into the depths of Hell, then it was worth it!
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Old 12-31-2013, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Such a easily avoided tragedy.

Had the nigra actually been a Christian (which is near impossible unless that are a graduate from the LBC Ex-Nigra Biblical School) Satan may not of led him to the depths of Hell. Furthermore, I think the creatures owners have some culpability. They need to watch better over their things. I hope they did not have the unmitigated gall to submit a loss claim with the insurance company.
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Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Old 12-31-2013, 11:24 PM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

We'll soon be getting emails from the beneficiaries of this nigra's will asking for our help to get his millions out to the West.
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Old 01-01-2014, 01:29 AM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Good grief, what is that "professor" talking about Jesus walking on ice? What a nutjob.



Don't you think that if Jesus would've walked on ice it would've been DESCRIBED that way? Ice and snow and frost are all mentioned in the Bible, so it isn't like God invented them after this miracle.

Some people.

YiC,

Zech
Another example of how far the sickular lieberal media will go to continue to persecute Christians. They will get their just reward for their actions come the Judgement.
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Old 01-01-2014, 06:18 PM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Silly negro. He mustn't have been very bright.

1. It is a well known fact that negroes cannot swim

2. Do NOT mock or He will strike you down.
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Old 01-02-2014, 02:32 AM
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus

Isaiah 43:2 tells us that the LORD doesn't allow His people to drown (I assume there is fine print somewhere, but still...) had this darkie been in good stead with the Heavenly Father, He would still be walking and leaping and praising God.
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The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


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