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Old 01-27-2014, 03:43 AM
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Default How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

You can't become a wife if you aren't wife material! Here is how to become a good future wife.
Appearance:
Although we should never be vain, True Christian men are only going to notice an attractive woman.
1. Hair. It would be best if you are a natural blonde, but if not you have to work with what you got. Make sure your hair is very shiny and healthy. Use deep conditioners regularly. Get it trimmed once a year and grow it very long. Style it in pigtails, curls, ponytails, updos, straight, and buns. Never braids.
2. Skin. Your skin should be clear, soft, shaved, and pale. Cleanse, tone, and moisturize your face and use a facial mask once a week for clear soft skin. Shave your legs and armpits every day and moisturize after. Wash your body daily too. To get pale, exfoliate and scrub with lemon juice.
3. Makeup. Don't wear too much makeup, but enough to highlight your natural beauty. Concealer on blemishes, mascara, and lipstick are all that is necessary to look simply stunning.
4. Body. Your body should be healthy and in shape to be able to clean up the house. Workout every morning to be very slim. The perfect body has a very small waist, long skinny legs, and small hips, shoulders, hands, and feet. A good body example is Cinderella.
5. Clothes. A True Christian wife dresses modestly. Skirts and dresses that are at least knee length as well as blouses that are up to your collarbone are appropriate. You should wear a cardigan or sweater on top of that as well as slippers, ballet flats, or heels. Make sure to own several aprons for housework. Appropriate colors are pastels. Never wear pants! If you do, throw all of them out ASAP!
Religion:
1. Pray whenever possible. Pray every second you can. Pray meaningful prayers and pray for a husband.
2. Read KJV1611 Bible every day. If you want, come on here and discuss verses with us!
3. Attend Baptist Church. Every day you can stop in to church and pray there.
4. Memorize the KJV1611 Bible. Know it by heart!
5. Become a True Christian. Do not even consider marriage until you are considered a True Christian.
Skills:
1. Cleaning. You need to be able to clean anything and everything you could possibly own until it smells divine and is sparkling like a diamond in the sky.
2. Cooking. Be able to bake amazing pies. This is VERY important. Also be able to bake cookies, cakes, and sweet treats for your husband. Cook delicious steak, chicken, turkey, ham, ribs, vegetables, and bread for your hubby. It would be best if you grew some of your own vegetables.
3. Sewing. Be able to sew aprons, skirts, blouses, dresses, and sweaters for yourself as most of your clothes should be homemade. Also be able to repair any clothing item. Make sure your mending is better than it looked before. The clothes you sew are representations to your husband of how wonderful you are.
4. Child raising. Be able to let your husband beat/torture your children as much as necessary. Learn to raise them into True Christians. Homeschool them well so they are well knowledged and can start working early. Teach your daughters of their worthlessness and your sons of their power. If your daughter does want a career, make it something like fashion designing, cosmetology, nursing, writing, or other feminine things. Sons can be anything they want that is godly and their father agrees to.
Finding a husband:
This is the hard part. I suggest finding one from church or school that is a True Christian. Only date True Christian men. And make sure he pays for you! If you are raped, you must marry the person who raped you.

Post anything you think should be added!
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  #2  
Old 01-27-2014, 05:30 AM
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Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

Quote:
Post anything you think should be added!
Scriptural support for each item.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
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  #3  
Old 01-27-2014, 01:31 PM
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Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Scriptural support for each item.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Do I really need to? Most of this is compilations from other threads on being a True Christian housewife. I got a lot of this from Daisy Mae and Cranky Old Man. The appearance part is supported by 1 Timothy 2:9. Religion is supported by your very own True Christian guide. Skills are supported by Isaiah 3:12, 1 Timothy 2:8-11, 1 Timothy 3:14-15, 1 Timothy 2:11-15, 1 Timothy 5:9-10 , 1 Timothy 5:14, Titrus 2:3-5, Proverbs 6:20, 2 Timothy 1:5, 2 Timothy 3:15, 1 Corinthians 14:33b-37, and many more. I got the funding Christian husband's from my feeble brain.
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  #4  
Old 01-27-2014, 02:30 PM
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Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

Quote:
Originally Posted by bonnyboop View Post
Do I really need to? Most of this is compilations from other threads on being a True Christian housewife. I got a lot of this from Daisy Mae and Cranky Old Man.
So it's mostly plagiarized then? Beware of that. doesn't like it.

Jeremiah 23:30

Therefore, behold, I am against the prophets, saith the Lord, that steal my words every one from his neighbour.
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Old 01-27-2014, 02:35 PM
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Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

Quote:
Originally Posted by bonnyboop View Post
Do I really need to?
Quite. You can't just waltz around here making unsubstantiated claims based on your own gut feelings, personal experiences, or sincere desires.

Your post shows a lack of Scriptural understanding. I suggest you read more Holy Bible before offering your opinion on how it applies in every day life.
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Old 01-27-2014, 03:02 PM
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Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

Quote:
Originally Posted by bonnyboop View Post
You can't become a wife if you aren't wife material! Here is how to become a good future wife.
Sweetie, I can see you are trying, but you are not trying hard enough. Overall grade: -D, for effort.

Quote:
Appearance:
Although we should never be vain, True Christian men are only going to notice an attractive woman.
1. Hair. It would be best if you are a natural blonde, but if not you have to work with what you got. Make sure your hair is very shiny and healthy. Use deep conditioners regularly. Get it trimmed once a year and grow it very long. Style it in pigtails, curls, ponytails, updos, straight, and buns. Never braids.
Why?

Quote:
2. Skin. Your skin should be clear, soft, shaved, and pale. Cleanse, tone, and moisturize your face and use a facial mask once a week for clear soft skin. Shave your legs and armpits every day and moisturize after. Wash your body daily too. To get pale, exfoliate and scrub with lemon juice.
No. Prayer is enough to have beautiful skin:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=96050

Quote:
3. Makeup. Don't wear too much makeup, but enough to highlight your natural beauty. Concealer on blemishes, mascara, and lipstick are all that is necessary to look simply stunning.
No. Why do you suggest that True Christian™ ladies resemble Jezabel?
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...004#post436004

Quote:
4. Body. Your body should be healthy and in shape to be able to clean up the house. Workout every morning to be very slim. The perfect body has a very small waist, long skinny legs, and small hips, shoulders, hands, and feet. A good body example is Cinderella.
Why would anynone use as example some arrogant fictive personage from a devilish Disney story?

About workout:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=56549

Quote:
5. Clothes. A True Christian wife dresses modestly. Skirts and dresses that are at least knee length as well as blouses that are up to your collarbone are appropriate. You should wear a cardigan or sweater on top of that as well as slippers, ballet flats, or heels. Make sure to own several aprons for housework. Appropriate colors are pastels. Never wear pants! If you do, throw all of them out ASAP!
Aren't you forgetting something? The most important thing of all about clothes? Hint: read Leviticus!

Aside from that, your husband will decide what kind of clothing is appropriate for you.

Quote:
Religion:
1. Pray whenever possible. Pray every second you can. Pray meaningful prayers and pray for a husband.
2. Read KJV1611 Bible every day. If you want, come on here and discuss verses with us!
3. Attend Baptist Church. Every day you can stop in to church and pray there.
4. Memorize the KJV1611 Bible. Know it by heart!
5. Become a True Christian. Do not even consider marriage until you are considered a True Christian.
You've got something right!

Quote:
Skills:
1. Cleaning. You need to be able to clean anything and everything you could possibly own until it smells divine and is
You forgot to add that we hand wash, we don't use these devilish devices designed to shorten women's work (and giving us more free time, make us think dangerous thoughts).

Quote:
sparkling like a diamond in the sky.
Are you sending some subliminal LSD message?

Quote:
2. Cooking. Be able to bake amazing pies. This is VERY important. Also be able to bake cookies, cakes, and sweet treats for your husband. Cook delicious steak, chicken, turkey, ham, ribs, vegetables, and bread for your hubby. It would be best if you grew some of your own vegetables.
All that depends on your husband. You need to cook whatever he wants to eat. If he wants doughnuts for breakfast, that's his right.

Quote:
3. Sewing. Be able to sew aprons, skirts, blouses, dresses, and sweaters for yourself as most of your clothes should be homemade. Also be able to repair any clothing item. Make sure your mending is better than it looked before. The clothes you sew are representations to your husband of how wonderful you are.
Again, read Leviticus.

Quote:
4. Child raising. Be able to let your husband beat/torture your children as much as necessary.
An appropriate Proverbs quote would be nice here.

Quote:
Learn to raise them into True Christians. Homeschool them well so they are well knowledged and can start working early. Teach your daughters of their worthlessness and your sons of their power. If your daughter does want a career, make it something like fashion designing, cosmetology, nursing, writing, or other feminine things.
No. Just marry them to a True Christian™ as soon as possible. Having a ton of their own kids will make them forget about "careers."

Quote:
Sons can be anything they want that is godly and their father agrees to.
Finding a husband:
This is the hard part. I suggest finding one from church or school that is a True Christian. Only date True Christian men. And make sure he pays for you! If you are raped, you must marry the person who raped you.
You really need to read Leviticus, dear. An appropriate quote here would be worth more than 1000 of your own words.

Quote:
Post anything you think should be added!
If you want to improve that -D grade, redo your post using quotes from the Bible or posting links to True Christian posts on this Godly forum (we have a handy-dandy search tool just for this purpose).
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  #7  
Old 01-27-2014, 03:11 PM
Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is online now
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Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

Quote:
Originally Posted by bonnyboop View Post
Do I really need to?

*snip*
In a word: yes.

The primary purpose of Landover Baptist is to show people the true majesty of Scripture with no excuses and no glossing over and no "what-that-really-means" nonsense. Providing exact quotes is the only foolproof way to accomplish this.

I'm a little surprised that I need to explain this to a Forum Member, but you're a woman so it's understandable.

Yours in Christ,

Zech
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Old 01-27-2014, 09:10 PM
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Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

Quote:
Originally Posted by bonnyboop View Post
Do I really need to? Most of this is compilations from other threads on being a True Christian housewife. I got a lot of this from Daisy Mae and Cranky Old Man. The appearance part is supported by 1 Timothy 2:9. Religion is supported by your very own True Christian guide. Skills are supported by Isaiah 3:12, 1 Timothy 2:8-11, 1 Timothy 3:14-15, 1 Timothy 2:11-15, 1 Timothy 5:9-10 , 1 Timothy 5:14, Titrus 2:3-5, Proverbs 6:20, 2 Timothy 1:5, 2 Timothy 3:15, 1 Corinthians 14:33b-37, and many more. I got the funding Christian husband's from my feeble brain.
I can't see that any of those quotes supports any of your assertions in your first post. And what is Titrus?
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Old 01-27-2014, 09:19 PM
Esther B. Esther B. is offline
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Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: How to Become Wife Material - Very Detailed

These are wonderful suggestions, but it would be nice to be able to see which ones are supported by the Bible before following them. As a few people have already suggested, you should read your Bible to be sure that your suggestions are (or are not) appropriate for True Christian women.
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