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  #41  
Old 02-03-2014, 10:18 PM
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Have...

all this cash...

All this cash...

...collected for Brother Hutchins...

...thousands of dollars cash in my pocket...

But nobody will sell me food...

Oh God oh God I...

...so thirsty...

Oh...

Posted from LBC for Palm Pilot™
I see you haven't done what I recommended, Brother!

Well, let's see. How soon can you get to Michigan? I have a spare bedroom in my house. I can give you food and drink, for a reasonable fee, of course. You know, I have the best pie in Northern Michigan!
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  #42  
Old 02-03-2014, 10:43 PM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
I see you haven't done what I recommended, Brother!

Well, let's see. How soon can you get to Michigan? I have a spare bedroom in my house. I can give you food and drink, for a reasonable fee, of course. You know, I have the best pie in Northern Michigan!
God bless you Sister, GOD BLESS YOU!

Just need to get...

get...

out of Freehold...

Gates...

Gates monitored 24/7...

armed guards...

...refuse money bribe...

...refuse sex bribe...

So cold...

So, so, so cold...

Posted from LBC for Nintendo 3DS™
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  #43  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:29 PM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Dearest dearest Brother Faith Machine:

It's been decided to grant you immunity from the Tithing Accountability Review for thirty (30) days, but you must come into the Church Offices, or surrender yourself to a Pastor, so you may sign the simple paperwork.

You need to tell us where you are so we can bring you a pen.

Doesn't some nice hot soup sound good about now? Why, you can have all you want. And even some rolls. Doesn't the little heart-shaped butter pat tell you how dear you are, and always have been, to the Church™?

Now, where are you?



Luke 23:
41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.
42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.
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  #44  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:37 PM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
Well, he phoned me...My little dachshunds have good noses - I'll put them on the scent. If they find him, I'll try to keep him here until you come to collect him - no promises though.
Mo7, your miniature dachshunds did a great job (thanks for releasing them)...that is until they got to the northerly section of the woods.

One of them (I think it's Schatzi?) clumsily jumped into one of the Man Traps the boys had laid out for Faith Machine, and it closed on her.

If it had just been her leg I would have snapped it off, no problem. But it's clenched all around her hindquarter...and she's somehow dragged herself and the trap under a log after I poked at it all to investigate.

What do you want us to do? I'm wearing new shoes or I'd try to go in there after her.

Sorry.
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  #45  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:39 PM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Mistress Cookie, I think he may need more than that to lure him in.
Brother Machine, You know where I am Get thee hither. Safe house with plenty of food, drink, warm clothing and firewood, as well as firearms.
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  #46  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:42 PM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

See my post above, Sister.

I'm sorry, but we need to leave this area soon and fan out.

What do you want done?
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  #47  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:43 PM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Mo7, the dogs did a great job (thank you for releasing them)...that is until they got to the northerly section of the woods.

One of them (I think it's Schatzi?) clumsily jumped into one of the Man Traps the boys had laid out for Faith Machine, and it closed on her.

If it had just been her leg I would have snapped it off, but it's clenched all around her hindquarter...and she dragged herself and the trap under a log when I poked it to investigate.

What do you want us to do? I'm wearing new shoes or I'd try to go in there after her.

Sorry.
I don't care about your shoes. I'll buy you a new pair. Get in there and get her out and get her to the vet. She's pregnant! I'd come and get her myself, except I'm expecting a visitor soon.
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  #48  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:49 PM
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Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

I thought I saw Brother Faith Machine so naturally I fired my trusty .950 JDJ at his head. Unfortunately it turned out to be a tourist who somehow got passed our gates. I am certain Jesus wanted him dead though otherwise the Holy Spirit wouldn't have guided me towards shooting him. No doubt he was a child rapist, or worse, an Obama voter.

In about an hour Brother Bob4God should arrive with the rocket launcher so we can start our hunting party. It might be advisable for most people to stay off the streets for the next few hours. In the meantime I will do some target practice on those annoyingly noisy dogs that suddenly arrived here.

Of course, Jesus is the ultimate American patriot:
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  #49  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:51 PM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
I don't care about your shoes...Get in there and get her out and get her to the vet. She's pregnant! I'd come and get her myself, except I'm expecting a visitor soon.
Well excuse me, I'm sorry about your expected company, but I am chasing a fallen Church™ Member!

I yanked on the chain a few times but it's caught on something and she just howled. It's hurting my ears!

Did the other one come home, at least?
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  #50  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:57 PM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Were they these shoes?



or these ones?





Has it occurred to you that the reason she might be howling is that Brother Machine may have a vice-like grip on her?


Siegfried returned with a piece of fabric in his mouth, which looks suspiciously like Brother Machine's pants.
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  #51  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:02 AM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

So tired...

...tired of running...

Look at all the people I've hurt...

God bless you Bassili... Basi... however it's spelt....

God bless you Basi and Mother of Seven...

...can't drag you...

...drag you into this...

I am in the marsh out near the Grange Hall, over on Route 5. I'm sorry for...

...for...

Letting everybody....


down


Posted from LBC for Nintendo 3DS™
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  #52  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:03 AM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
In the meantime I will do some target practice on those annoyingly noisy dogs that suddenly arrived her
No Brother COM, they're my dogs. Don't hurt them, I beseech thee!
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  #53  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:05 AM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

I just had a call from my maid - she's spotted him at the east end of Plantation Rd!
FM, get here now, I've sent them off in the wrong direction.
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  #54  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:07 AM
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Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
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You kids get off his lawn!
 

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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
No Brother COM, they're my dogs. Don't hurt them, I beseech thee!
Can't you teach them not to bark? It's highly annoying. So far shooting them seems to be the only thing that stops them from barking. How many dogs did you send anyway?

Their annoying barking reminds me of Revelation 22:15: "For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie."
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  #55  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:09 AM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
Were they these shoes?

Can I just ask how exactly you propose replacing my shoes, when your last check sent to the Church™ was marked "Please do not cash until the 15th of the month" ?

Look, I tried to shine my cigarette lighter under there but she backed away, so I've lit some rags and tossed them in, trying to smoke her out.

Nothing yet but some scrabbling sounds...

This is so annoying.
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  #56  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:09 AM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Can't you teach them not to bark? It's highly annoying. So far shooting them seems to be the only thing that stops them from barking.

Their annoying barking reminds me of Revelation 22:15: "For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie."
Don't you know anything at all about dachshunds? They bark to let you know they've found their prey.
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  #57  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:11 AM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post

Nothing yet but some scrabbling sounds...

This is so annoying.
That's her nesting. She's having her pups!
Forget it. You go off with Brother COM and I'll let the kids let Mr Machine the visitor in, while I rescue the dog.
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  #58  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:17 AM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
Posts: 6,561
Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mistress Cookie will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post

That's her nesting. She's having her pups!

Forget it. You go off with Brother COM and I'll let the kids let Mr Machine the visitor in, while I rescue the dog.
Just get here and shut her up, she's ruining the whole plan.

I'm heading over to Plantation Road. Thanks for the tip. You did that part right at least.

I swear, this is turning into the longest day...
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  #59  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:25 AM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Yes, that's right, I'M ON PLANTATION ROAD NOW.

Mother of Seven, I can't wait to sink my teeth into your juicy pie. I'll bet it tastes so good, I'll want sloppy seconds, and I'll never want to leave.


Posted from LBC for Nintendo 3DS™
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  #60  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:28 AM
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
So tired...

...tired of running...

Look at all the people I've hurt...

God bless you Bassili... Basi... however it's spelt....

God bless you Basi and Mother of Seven...

...can't drag you...

...drag you into this...

I am in the marsh out near the Grange Hall, over on Route 5. I'm sorry for...

...for...

Letting everybody....


down


Posted from LBC for Nintendo 3DS™
Hang in there, bro! Everything will be OK, because I prayed to Jesus to make everything OK. Just calm down, and get yourself to the closest Greyhound station (I assume you can't get to your car), and come to Michigan. There is a fresh, warm, steamy pie waiting for you here. You need some good sleep, and then we can figure out what we should do with all that money. (I have a few ideas, one of them includes the Bahamas).
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