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Old 02-05-2014, 01:51 PM
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Default The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God. - Luke 9:27

These were JESUS' words to His disciples, spoken to them on the same occasion that He gave them the power to cast out devils and heal the sick.

JESUS promised them that at least a few of those standing before Him would not die before they saw the Kingdom of GOD, that is, Heaven. Since the Second Coming of CHRIST hasn't happened yet, a reasonable Christian must therefore conclude that a few of JESUS' followers are still living today.

Because they were close friends of JESUS CHRIST, there are two further assumptions we can make: One, they are thousands of years old, and two, they are True Christians.

Given this information, I believe it is logical to conclude that the last disciples of CHRIST still living on Earth must be members of Landover Baptist Church.

I am particularly interested in Cranky Old Man and Old Man Hatchet, both of whom appear to be thousands of years old. I am also interested in Nobar King and his righteous beard.

I am calling on any members of Landover Baptist who have information regarding these surviving contemporaries of CHRIST to speak up now.

If you are one of the Twelve Disciples, come forward and make history. Please do not feel embarrassed or nervous. I promise you, there is not a True Christian alive who would not believe that there are still members of the Twelve Disciples still running around casting out devils.
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Old 02-05-2014, 02:15 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

Hello Bob4God.

I have read that verse many times but I was reading it wrong I thought that it meant that some of the Disciples would not eat anything that was already dead at least that made Genesis 9:3 make more sense to me it says:

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

When I asked the colored girl who works for me if we could eat some things that were still moving because I wanted to follow the Bible she said oh daddy they do not mean it has to be moving when you eat it I am not her father she is from the West Indies they say things differently.

If one of the Disciples is from Landover Baptist Church they might not look old like Cranky Old Man or Old Man Hatchet because God may have turned back the clock on them look at Lamentations 5:21 it says:

Turn thou us unto thee, O LORD, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old.

If God renews their days as of old it would seem He makes them younger that would be a very nice thing to do but it would make your job more difficult because you would have to look at everyone not just the old people.

Thank you.

Rusty
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Old 02-05-2014, 03:55 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

They say that if you can remember the BC's, you weren't really there…

But seriously, the last I heard is that FEMA has them locked away in one of their concentration camps. It has to be true, it was peer-reviewed by twitter.

Come to think of it, this is PROOF that FEMA (or Obama, or Clinton, or FDR, or Lincoln) has secret prisons. After all, if the democrats don't have have secret prisons for Christians, then WHERE ARE THE DISCIPLES? We've found the smoking gun, patriots!
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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 02-05-2014 at 08:04 PM.
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Old 02-05-2014, 04:41 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God. - Luke 9:27

I am particularly interested in Cranky Old Man and Old Man Hatchet, both of whom appear to be thousands of years old. I am also interested in Nobar King and his righteous beard.

If you are one of the Twelve Disciples, come forward and make history.
We've all know since way back that Landover Baptist Church is the premier Christian church in the world, Jesus' favorite by far.

It only makes sense from scripture some of his people would be walking among us. This is exciting.
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Old 02-05-2014, 05:08 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
I am particularly interested in Cranky Old Man and Old Man Hatchet, both of whom appear to be thousands of years old.


Well, if the Bible says some of Jesus' disciples are still alive then clearly this must be true and Landover would indeed be the most logical place for one of Jesus' disciples to live.

It seems to me though that if I was one of Jesus' disciples, I would remember this. On the other hand, I usually cannot remember what I did 5 minutes ago. And thousands of years is probably a long time to remember things. Jesus could even have wiped my memory of Him in His infinite kindness to save me from the suffering of having to miss Him for each and every day for thousands of years.

All this is very confusing, I hope a Pastor can assist me with this.
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Old 02-05-2014, 05:40 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

Try to remember, Cranky!

Don't you remember the taste of loaves and fish split by our Savior's salty sweaty hands?

How about the sweet sound of your Master's voice when He called that woman a dog?

Do you recall Peter's cock? You must remember that!
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Old 02-05-2014, 07:57 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

I would have to disagree on the LBC part.

Matthew 10:16

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.



We should find them amongst the most wolvish of sinners. Maybe we can identify them when they say something that we wouldn't expect from such groups.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Old 02-06-2014, 01:52 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

This is electrifying testimony.

Here we see the work of a Christian scientist and scholar. Kudos, Brother!

God Bless!
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Old 02-06-2014, 02:39 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by see_the_light View Post
I would have to disagree on the LBC part.

Matthew 10:16

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.



We should find them amongst the most wolvish of sinners. Maybe we can identify them when they say something that we wouldn't expect from such groups.

PRAISE THE LORD!
I'm not a theologian, but I thought that meant the Disciples were to go out to the lowlives and preach. If this is correct, they could be headquartering at LBC and converting the heathens around Des Moines.

The State Capitol downtown has lots of liberals, gay bars and flat out drunks.

They have a lot of work to do, that's for sure.
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Old 02-06-2014, 02:52 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I'm not a theologian, but I thought that meant the Disciples were to go out to the lowlives and preach. If this is correct, they could be headquartering at LBC and converting the heathens around Des Moines.

The State Capitol downtown has lots of liberals, gay bars and flat out drunks.

They have a lot of work to do, that's for sure.
Of course!

JESUS told them where to work, HE wouldn't force them to mingle.

And we know that it's a waste of time looking for Simon/Peter that one is long gone to heaven.

John 21:18

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.


John 21:22

Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me.


When JESUS invites a disciple to follow him and stretch his hands to be tied it's a privilege.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Old 02-06-2014, 03:06 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?


17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
18 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
19 This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me.

This seems to insure that Saint Peter already died. Right.


20 Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee?
21 Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do?
22 Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me.
23 Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?
24 This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true.

This is also very relevant to our theme. John is a likely candidate for an immortal apostle since Jesus did neither say nor deny it and according to christian tradition he was the only apostle who was not martyred.

Of the other apostles we have at last apocryphal scriptures about their martyrdoms and we will have to work out which apostles could have cheated death.

For that I want to use this book for study:
The Big Book of Martyrs (Factoid Books)
http://www.amazon.com/The-Book-Marty.../dp/1563893606
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Old 02-07-2014, 12:20 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

When I first read this I thought the old guy who lives in a trailer by the dump might be a disciple. But then I thought if the disciples lived for 2000 years they probably saved up a lot of money. Then I thought Pastor Zeke has all those guest houses and he never tells anyone who stays in them. I say someone in the window of one of those houses once. Is their any chance one of the twelve would look like a young Filipino boy?
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Old 02-07-2014, 12:25 AM
see_the_light see_the_light is offline
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl View Post
17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
18 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
19 This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me.

This seems to insure that Saint Peter already died. Right.


20 Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee?
21 Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do?
22 Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me.
23 Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?
24 This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true.

This is also very relevant to our theme. John is a likely candidate for an immortal apostle since Jesus did neither say nor deny it and according to christian tradition he was the only apostle who was not martyred.

Of the other apostles we have at last apocryphal scriptures about their martyrdoms and we will have to work out which apostles could have cheated death.

For that I want to use this book for study:
The Big Book of Martyrs (Factoid Books)
http://www.amazon.com/The-Book-Marty.../dp/1563893606
Leave your "saints" alone!

And yes, the Peter part seems a clear giveaway and I quoted on that.

As for the John you cat-a-licks are always interpreting!

Yes, the beloved disciple is mentioned, but neither is it clearly stated in the KJV about to whom JESUS referred, nor is it clear JESUS's will. In fact he so much as tell us to mind our own business.

As you quoted "that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?"

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Old 02-07-2014, 08:56 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
When I first read this I thought the old guy who lives in a trailer by the dump might be a disciple. But then I thought if the disciples lived for 2000 years they probably saved up a lot of money.
Or perhaps rather not

Luke Chapter 6
20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.
21 Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.
22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.
23 Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.
24 But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation.

Luke Chapter 10
1 After these things the Lord appointed other seventy also, and sent them two and two before his face into every city and place, whither he himself would come.
2 Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest.
3 Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves.
4 Carry neither purse, nor scrip, nor shoes: and salute no man by the way.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
Then I thought Pastor Zeke has all those guest houses and he never tells anyone who stays in them. I say someone in the window of one of those houses once. Is their any chance one of the twelve would look like a young Filipino boy?
A young boyAnd living all alone in this guest house as a secret of your Pastor ?

Isnt this highly suspicious ? Perhaps your Pastor Zeke is a Pastopäderast
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Old 02-07-2014, 09:09 PM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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Originally Posted by see_the_light View Post
Yes, the beloved disciple is mentioned, but neither is it clearly stated in the KJV about to whom JESUS referred, nor is it clear JESUS's will. In fact he so much as tell us to mind our own business.

As you quoted "that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?"

PRAISE THE LORD!
To clarify here: Are you not sure that the Gospel of John was at last written by a man named John, as is normally accepted by evangelical christians?
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Old 02-08-2014, 12:06 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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A young boyAnd living all alone in this guest house as a secret of your Pastor ?

Isnt this highly suspicious ? Perhaps your Pastor Zeke is a Pastopäderast
Only a papist paedophile could suspect that. It is no doubt what you would do. Anybody who know Pastor Zeke knows that he is beyond sin; he is the closest of all living beings to Jesus Christ our Lord. Shame on you for doubting otherwise.
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Old 02-08-2014, 03:40 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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Only a papist paedophile could suspect that. It is no doubt what you would do. Anybody who know Pastor Zeke knows that he is beyond sin; he is the closest of all living beings to Jesus Christ our Lord. Shame on you for doubting otherwise.
Still we have to check if the youth could not be an Original Apostle
Do you wish to give me the adress so I can visit and inspect the young boy very closely?
I mean; If the Pastor does not care, why let an good oppurtunity go to waste?
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Old 02-08-2014, 03:45 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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Still we have to check if the youth could not be an Original Apostle
Do you wish to give me the adress so I can visit and inspect the young boy very closely?
I mean; If the Pastor does not care, why let an good oppurtunity go to waste?
Filthy godmocking papists from Finland are not allowed in Freehold, so you won't be "inspecting" anything.

I seriously doubt that my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy is related to any of the 12 Apostles.

We have 3 Pastors at LBC who can trace their line directly from an Apostle. I won't say who unless you're a Platinum Tither or above.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:11 AM
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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And we know that it's a waste of time looking for Simon/Peter that one is long gone to heaven.

John 21:18

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
There is unquestionable proof that Saint Peter was still alive at least in the year 755
For in that year he wrote a letter to Pepin the Short, king of the franks in which he beseeched him to war agaist the langobards to protectc the holy Papacy and Rome
Before that, Pope Stephan II did everything to persuade Pepin to start this war, but he was not willing, in spite of Stephans urging letters.
But then came a letter from the Holy Saint Peter in which the Apostle personally made clear to king Pepin that he must always obey the Holy Stool in Rome and at once start the war againt the langobards who threatened it. Saint Peter guaranteed heaven as the reward, but fiercely he spoke of hell that awaited if Pepin would refuse
Pepin obeyed of course, and the further proof of authencity and also proof that the Papacy really always speaks as Saint Peter would is the fact that the holy letters tone sounded remarkably like Pope Stephan himself had written his letters to Pepin before that. Isnt that sensational?
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Old 02-08-2014, 03:42 PM
see_the_light see_the_light is offline
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Default Re: The Twelve Disciples of CHRIST: Where are They Now?

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There is unquestionable proof that Saint Peter was still alive at least in the year 755
For in that year he wrote a letter to Pepin the Short, king of the franks in which he beseeched him to war agaist the langobards to protectc the holy Papacy and Rome
Before that, Pope Stephan II did everything to persuade Pepin to start this war, but he was not willing, in spite of Stephans urging letters.
But then came a letter from the Holy Saint Peter in which the Apostle personally made clear to king Pepin that he must always obey the Holy Stool in Rome and at once start the war againt the langobards who threatened it. Saint Peter guaranteed heaven as the reward, but fiercely he spoke of hell that awaited if Pepin would refuse
Pepin obeyed of course, and the further proof of authencity and also proof that the Papacy really always speaks as Saint Peter would is the fact that the holy letters tone sounded remarkably like Pope Stephan himself had written his letters to Pepin before that. Isnt that sensational?
Loose lips sink ships, and I see why the cat-a-licks are sinking faster than the Titanic!

You have absolutely no shame of your lies!

May GOD have no mercy on your boastful impersonations.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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