Seeking Godly Dating Advice from True Christian Men -
11-19-2014, 10:09 AM
I am seeking God's advice related to just how many members of the weaker, less intelligent gender that I should be courting at one time. God spake unto me, saying: "Brother Larry?" and I said, "What?" and He said, "This is God." and I said, "Yes, I recognize your still, small voice." and He said, "Ask the GODLY males of Landover Baptist Church to help you with your question, since I am involved with orchestrating my soon coming."
Well, you can imagine my excitement, since I will be at the heights of happiness when my Lord comes.
So, brothers - help a young man out, if you will. Should I limit my courting to just one at a time, or should I see as many lovely ladies as possible until Jesus tells me, "This is the one."
You see, an unmarried lady just posted in the introductions; aside from her joo nose, she seems fit for childbearing but I know nothing of her cooking or cleaning skills. There is another young lady of 17 in my church that baked cookies for me last week (they were peanut butter chocolate chip with orange slice candy on top). I think this means she would be interested in me as a husband. To add still more to my conundrum, yet another lady often rides the same subway I take when I witness to the homeless that sleep there. She has looked at me more than one time, and her glance produces a stirring in my loins of which I cannot speak, only pray.
I know many of you have likely experienced the same things I now experience, and I trust True Christian™ males will be more than happy to offer advice to one not as close to God and one much less wise in the ways of the female. I ask humbly, and will take all suggestions to God in prayer.
COME, Lord Jesus!
PS: Is it wrong for me to covet Mrs Elizabeth Johnson?
Let your loines be girded about, and your lights burning! (Lord, I will leave the light on for you always!)