The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!

MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 04-20-2014, 07:55 PM
Eva_Christensen's Avatar
Eva_Christensen Eva_Christensen is offline
Swedish meatball
Forum Member

Heaven Bound TC Bravery Christian Love 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pagan Denmark
Posts: 102
Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™Eva_Christensen is a True Christian™
Default Re: I am Bob and I want a Christian girlfriend!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife View Post
Bless you, Sister Eva, for your unflinching loyalty to your husband, even at the potential cost of your own soul. As a practical woman, I will continue to pray that your husband may either die or be cured by some miracle: it doesn't much matter which, does it?
Thank you for your kind words
I am thankful for all of your prayers, Dear Sister! But the thought of going back on "the marked" terrifies me. Especially now, when my fathers poor mind has gone completely senile, and he cannot guide me. So my husband beeing cured, would in any case be easier. I wouldn't have to move and change adresses - it's so inconvinient - and sometimes your mail gets lost!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife View Post
My suggestion would be to look around for a sturdy but - how can I put it? - slightly less than averagely attractive young woman. Young women are all much the same in the dark, Bob.

YiC
AW
Very sound advice indeed!
Perhaps if you went to a christian dance and waited till the wee hours of the morning - I am sure the girls that are left, will be more willing to settle look your way, Bob
__________________
1 Thessalonians 5:3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 04-20-2014, 11:54 PM
Mary Thompson's Avatar
Mary Thompson Mary Thompson is offline
True Christian Lady™, Certified Best Friend of Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Cleanest Kitchen Most Obedient Real American™ Pro-Life Paula Deen Negro Support Group Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Homemaker Most Obedient In Love With Zeke True Christian™ 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Freehold, Iowa, God's Nation!
Posts: 653
Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mary Thompson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: I am Bob and I want a Christian girlfriend!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eva_Christensen View Post
How unbearably sweet of you, to think of both me and Brother Bob, dear Sister Mary!

The thing is, my husband is very much alive and well, so I think Brother Bob would be better of looking in other places, to find his true love

How the financial side of things Bob? Any future inheritance maybe? Perhaps if you looked in the poorer sides of town, it would increase your chances?

YiC
Eva
The thing is, sweet Sister Eva, one must think of the future and I am sure you and Brother Bob would make an amazing match. However if you are determined to stay with your barren one stoned husband, then do so.

I agree with the above comments, Bob, I don't know what it is but ladies seem to be very agreeable after midnight. But you musn't tell your mother about that, you won't, will you? That's good, Bob, very good.
Just go to a Christian dance in the Freehold (I'm sure that a little tithing will soften Pastor Zeke enough to let you in) and then wait to the wee hours of the morning and propose to one of the ladies!
__________________
Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 04-21-2014, 02:00 AM
Freddy Osborne's Avatar
Freddy Osborne Freddy Osborne is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Christian™ Christian Love True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Tell her once Touched by Jesus Porn Resistant 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
Posts: 412
Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™Freddy Osborne is a True Christian™
Default Re: I am Bob and I want a Christian girlfriend!

Brother Bob,

I've put some serious thought into your situation. While these ladies are offering some fine advice, I'm not sure you are ready for the big dance. Even if you wait till midnight, there is no way you can cover multiple exits by yourself.

We need to get you up to speed. Lucky for you, back in the forsaken years- Freddy knew every trick in the book when it came to courtship.

Thankfully, The Lord has forgave me for those innocent ladies that fell victim to my indiscretions. And certainly I hope some of them asked for forgiveness too because they needed it...

Moving on, forget the dance. I'm betting no one will be impressed with your Hokey Pokie anyway.

We need a controlled environment. I propose you immediately drive, or more probably take a bus down to my house. There is a local facility with countless women that are already confined. They need witnessing and most of them are desperate... REALLY desperate for some companionship.

There will be PLENTY to choose from, Bob! So bring some smokes, some cash may be a good call if needed, and decide if you prefer blondes or brunettes!

Some may even be able to help you out with this Mom of yours....

Here's a link. You can go ahead and window shop my friend...

http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/newestladies/

PM when you are coming down.
__________________
"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord."(Deuteronomy 23:1)

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:29 AM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved