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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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  #1  
Old 05-24-2014, 02:37 PM
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Default Men's Reading Material

Pardon me for posting in the Men's Section gentlemen. I tried to post most of this with my eyes closed.

It seems our Messican cleaning lady happened upon these magazines in a brown paper bag while she was cleaning the men's restroom at church. They were stuffed behind a toilet.

Does anyone know who they belong to?
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  #2  
Old 05-24-2014, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Men's Reading Material

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
Pardon me for posting in the Men's Section gentlemen. I tried to post most of this with my eyes closed.

It seems our Messican cleaning lady happened upon these magazines in a brown paper bag while she was cleaning the men's restroom at church. They were stuffed behind a toilet.

Does anyone know who they belong to?

As I understand Church policy, we're to turn porn material that might be found on Church property to Pastor Zeke. He will evaluate it and punish the owner.
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:04 PM
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Default Re: Men's Reading Material

I believe that material may have been left behind by Nazi and Jap spies from back in WWII.

They were godless perverts, all of them, and that is the kind of filth they would have been reading. I believe they may have translated the magazines into American so no one else would notice.
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:24 AM
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Default Re: Men's Reading Material

Am I missing something here? Those look to me like perfectly fine magazines addressing controversial, yet important, issues.
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Old 05-25-2014, 03:06 PM
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Default Re: Men's Reading Material

Fire that cleaning lady! We have strict rules about cleaning ladies being blindfolded when cleaning the rest rooms. I think it's time to hire negro men to do the job again!

Sister Thumper! You are to blindfold yourself immediately and put those magazines back where the wetback found them. Then pray that God removes any memory of them from your mind! Never ever speak of this again! I pray that this interference has not disrupted important Church business!
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Old 05-26-2014, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: Men's Reading Material

Didn't those come from the Freehold Barber Shop out on Injun Scalp Road?
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Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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