The Landover Baptist Church Forum - General Church Fellowship

Landover Baptist Will Win This Thing

Johny Joe Hold — Tue, 20 Oct 2026 20:33:09 GMT

I was excited to learn about a contest that Landover Baptist can enter and is a sure bet to win. Some outfit that studies and promotes media, Great America Media, will give an award to a church in a small American town for its Christmas Services and for its contribution to its community. The winner will receive national publicity and a lot of attention at Christmastime.

In preparing our application to win this award we can focus on Landover Baptist's war against sin. We can highlight the many times we have pointed a finger at those who sin. As to a contribution to the City of Freehold, Landover has eliminated sin and made Freehold the envy of cities around the world.

I assume that the award-winning city will have a lot of news coverage of its Christmas Eve ceremony. This will be perfect because Pastor Zeke's Christmas Eve sermons are among his best. He goes over the story of the manger where a couple in poverty, Mary and Joseph, became wealthy from gifts given by rich wise men. This year he can use that as a bridge to a nation-wide appeal to fund his new Airbus.

Pastor Zeke's Christmas sermon always includes pointing out the entire group in the manger, the Sheppards, the Wise Men and Joeseph were heterosexual men. Mary was there, of course, but that's not the point. There we no homers or trans present. The story of Jesus is a story about straight males.

I'm going to start working on our application today. Any suggestions are welcome.

Great American Media taking nominations for small-town churches | Church & Ministries

I take deep faith in New Witchcraft

Madame Frottage — Sat, 17 Oct 2026 06:15:42 GMT

What not?

Gofuck yourself, Landover.

Fuck you and your lethargy.

Fuck you and Pistor Pistle, and Ezekiel who cannot complete a Quebec broad's purpose and depth.

Fuck your false Jesus.

Fuck you. Because I can. Merci.

Execution Livestream Watch Party

WWJDnow — Wed, 14 Oct 2026 21:02:33 GMT

President Trump's Department of War will be livestreaming execution of the Fort Hood shooter, Nidal Hassan, by firing squad on December 3rd.

Let's not squander this opportunity to celebrate with our friends, families and neighbors as the United States Army delivers this murderous Muslim straight into Satan's fiery embrace with a volley of hot lead. I know that at my house we're going to be pulling out all the stops to make this the best execution party ever.

Our secret? The best damn ribs on the planet.