The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum - Forums https://www.landoverbaptist.net/ vBulletin Forums en Mon, 14 Sep 2026 06:16:41 GMT vBulletin 60 https://www.landoverbaptist.net/images/misc/rss.png The Landover Baptist Church Forum - Forums https://www.landoverbaptist.net/ Preaching the Gospel at Burning Man https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/satan-s-entertainment/2080191-preaching-the-gospel-at-burning-man Sat, 12 Sep 2026 19:00:32 GMT Burning Man is a sinful orgy held each summer in the Arizona desert. People wear beads, go naked and take drugs. About 40,000 Godless attend every year. What to do about has always been the question? It is so sinful many clergy are reluctant to even enter. Thank goodness a young preacher...
What to do about has always been the question? It is so sinful many clergy are reluctant to even enter. Thank goodness a young preacher attended this year and preached wherever he could find a bit of sand to stand on. He reported the reception was not good, but he was OK with that.

I thought President Trump would shut down Burning Man, but it remains on his "to do" list.

Bryce Crawford says Burning Man darker than Satanic Temple HQ | Podcast

]]> Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/satan-s-entertainment/2080191-preaching-the-gospel-at-burning-man Vaccinations Mix Animal and Human Blood. God Made Us Separate https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/creation-science/2080183-vaccinations-mix-animal-and-human-blood-god-made-us-separate Fri, 11 Sep 2026 13:58:02 GMT
Even Sec. of Health Robert Kennedy has not stated so clearly the case against vaccinations. Prayer cures, vaccinations kill. It's that simple.

Supreme Court turns away religious vaccine appeal for kindergartener

]]> Creation Science Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/creation-science/2080183-vaccinations-mix-animal-and-human-blood-god-made-us-separate Douche bag recommendations https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/auntie-flo-s-prayer-shack-for-women/2080180-douche-bag-recommendations Fri, 11 Sep 2026 11:21:57 GMT
I was in the sanitation district on Rue Limpre-Sebastien to choice a plucky new douche bag for my wisened vaginey. Because I'm an older lady with many folds down below, it is so easy to get cheesy remnants caught in the labial folds when I work the cheese whirring machine at Frottage's Fromagery. Because of recent government developments, I cannot afford extra labor at this time, which means I must whirrrrr the cheese myself. :x I want to whirrrr in style, so I need the right doucher that makes a statement. I like chintz, paisley.... polka dots are out of season. Ladies please, this is a filles matter, I know this topic is like our quiet corner the menfolk will not peep. Don't hold back! ]]> Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/auntie-flo-s-prayer-shack-for-women/2080180-douche-bag-recommendations <![CDATA["Zoomies" in dogs proves even animals are prone to demon possession]]> https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/focus-on-family-christian-parenting/2080174-zoomies-in-dogs-proves-even-animals-are-prone-to-demon-possession Thu, 10 Sep 2026 17:47:43 GMT FRAPs (Frenetic Random Activity Periods), is a state where your own dog runs like a craze aroud your home. This state is described by science as something "natural".

However, we, as Christians, know very well that this is not the case. It is actually demon possession, as it is shown in Luke 8:
26 Then they sailed to the country of the Gadarenes, which is opposite Galilee.
27 And when He stepped out on the land, there met Him a certain man from the city who had demons for a long time. And he wore no clothes, nor did he live in a house but in the tombs.
28 When he saw Jesus, he cried out, fell down before Him, and with a loud voice said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg You, do not torment me!”
29 For He had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For it had often seized him, and he was kept under guard, bound with chains and shackles; and he broke the bonds and was driven by the demon into the wilderness.
30 Jesus asked him, saying, “What is your name?” And he said, “Legion,” because many demons had entered him.
31And they begged Him that He would not command them to go out into the abyss.
32 Now a herd of many swine was feeding there on the mountain. So they begged Him that He would permit them to enter them. And He permitted them.
33 Then the demons went out of the man and entered the swine, and the herd ran violently down the steep place into the lake and drowned.
34 When those who fed them saw what had happened, they fled and told it in the city and in the country.
35 Then they went out to see what had happened, and came to Jesus, and found the man from whom the demons had departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind. And they were afraid.
36 They also who had seen it told them by what means he who had been demon-possessed was healed.
37 Then the whole multitude of the surrounding region of the Gadarenes asked Him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. And He got into the boat and returned.
38 Now the man from whom the demons had departed begged Him that he might be with Him. But Jesus sent him away, saying,
39 “Return to your own house, and tell what great things God has done for you.” And he went his way and proclaimed throughout the whole city what great things Jesus had done for him.

What has happened to pigs certainly can apply to dogs and other animals as well. Just look below and don't tell me this is completely "natural" and not demon influenced:

If your own dog acts like this call an exorcist so he may be useful for another day.

See you later!

]]> Focus on Family - Christian Parenting Romeo Rovagnati https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/focus-on-family-christian-parenting/2080174-zoomies-in-dogs-proves-even-animals-are-prone-to-demon-possession As I sip my absinthe, Jesus died for my sins https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/prayer-requests/2080172-as-i-sip-my-absinthe-jesus-died-for-my-sins Thu, 10 Sep 2026 14:31:55 GMT Here I sit in LeTrec Salon on Rue St. Lorraine as I chase the green dragon - a bit of sugar, and a tickle of chartreuse. I weep with relief when I sip and pray...Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu, Je vous aime en mon Seigneur Jésus; merci. Lord Christ has paid my bar tab with His blood! My iris catches the star... PRAYER REQUESTS Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/prayer-requests/2080172-as-i-sip-my-absinthe-jesus-died-for-my-sins Women Staff Members Removed from Effiel Tower https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/pastor-zeke-s-news-wire/2080155-women-staff-members-removed-from-effiel-tower Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:43:39 GMT If people from Freehold want to visit the Eiffel Tower in Pairs, there is good news. Those who prefer men as guides, receptionists or fee collectors, can request from Tower management and it will accommodate. The Tower management seems to know what Jesus wants. Eiffel Tower reopens after protest...
Eiffel Tower reopens after protest over removing women staff | Gender Equity News | Al Jazeera

]]> Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/pastor-zeke-s-news-wire/2080155-women-staff-members-removed-from-effiel-tower <![CDATA["I Lost my Religion. What Should I Do?"]]> https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080133-i-lost-my-religion-what-should-i-do Mon, 07 Sep 2026 20:21:58 GMT
Pew: Why some Americans—including Catholics—leave their childhood faith - America Magazine

If someone comes to you confessing a loss of faith, what can you say to that person? We have instructions in the faith to help you advise such a person. The instructions are found in Galatians 5:13. In this passage, God warns us not to succumb to the flesh. That is, push away the temptation of trans and homerism. Sins of all kinds can land one in hell for eternity, but homerism and trans are the worst.

Someone who claims to have lost the faith is a person who wants to sin. That person needs to be warned about the wages of sin, of spending eternity in fires that never end. Handing such a person a picture of hell will bring that person back to the faith. Here is a picture you can copy and hand to the lost.

]]> False Religions and Cults Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080133-i-lost-my-religion-what-should-i-do Yes, Salafis are the Muslim equivalent of Evangelicals https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080131-yes-salafis-are-the-muslim-equivalent-of-evangelicals Mon, 07 Sep 2026 11:19:56 GMT As the title said (and it been said many times) Evangelicals are the equivalent of Salafi Muslims in Christianity. Here are the similarities: Both Evangelicals and Salafis are against iconography in any form and they believe that they must all be destroyed Both exists only to protest...

Both Evangelicals and Salafis are against iconography in any form and they believe that they must all be destroyed

Both exists only to protest movements that existed way before they were imagined

Both are against tradition and think that humanity should rely only on their scriptures (King James' Bible for Evangelicals, Quran + Hadith + Sira for Salafis)

Both reject the fact that a Priest is more able in interpreting scripture than them.

Both are against celebrating most holidays, because they either associate it with "idolatry", "infidels" (kufr), or "polytheism" (shirk)

Both have their own terrorists movements: Evangelicals have QAnon, Westboro Baptist Church, Christian Identity, etc. while Salafis have ISIS, Al-Qaeda, the Talbans etc.

I pray to Saint Joseph and all the Saints in Heaven that Our Savior give them common sense so they leave their terrorist cults.

]]> False Religions and Cults Romeo Rovagnati https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080131-yes-salafis-are-the-muslim-equivalent-of-evangelicals Just a thought... https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2080105-just-a-thought Fri, 04 Sep 2026 19:39:08 GMT General Church Fellowship Ezekiel Bathfire https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2080105-just-a-thought Stop the Mitch McConnell Persecution https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2080098-stop-the-mitch-mcconnell-persecution Thu, 03 Sep 2026 21:25:44 GMT Soon it will be 100 days since Mitch was last seen by a member of the press. He was taken to the hospital and now it is said he is at his home in Kentucky. There were some colleagues from the Senate who said they visited with him. This is really a brief hiatus and no doubt he will make a robust...
All this fuss about him being out of sight for this period is simply the liberal press trying to smear Republicans. I think President Trump should explain what happened to Mitch and why his recouperation is taking so long. My guess is it had nothing to do with age. I think he had a sports injury that was so serious it is taking a while to heal. Perhaps it was a mountain biking spill. On the other hand, it might have been a bar fight. He is known to be quite defensive of his beautiful wife, Elaine Chow, and if someone insulted her there would have been trouble. Whatever happened, Mitch will be back the same strong intimidating physical presence he has always had.

GOP lawmaker gives expected timeline for Mitch McConnell’s return

]]> Godly Politics Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2080098-stop-the-mitch-mcconnell-persecution Killing HeeHaw the Donkey was a sweet blessing. https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080076-killing-heehaw-the-donkey-was-a-sweet-blessing Wed, 02 Sep 2026 02:33:22 GMT I really envy America sometimes, while up reading the news to a cafe and croissant. Knowing that police invaded a private farmstead and shot a baby donkey, beloved pet of a little girl in cold blood searching for some missing bum...
Knowing that police invaded a private farmstead and shot a baby donkey, beloved pet of a little girl in cold blood searching for some missing bum shows me how free Americans really are, that the police are so unbridled to carry out the law, it brings tear.

And yet, you REALLY have read between the lines to see the true beauty of Jesus behind the wrongness of this peverted farm. I bet they thought they were safe, they had some happy haven to worship a baby donkey in diapers, yet the Virgin is not mocked.

Did they not know? The story of Balaam? Numbers 22:22???

That this was no cute arrangement, but a warning????

That our Savior came to ride on a simpering ass and He is Coming!???

The little girl Hannah Israel, carries the clue in her name, and in her girlful wailings will come to see, she is the beacon of Israel, Heehaw is the sacrifice, the bleeding, bleating ass. And she will eventually cry tears of joy knowing the blessings that have befallen when HeeHaw sheds the blood of our sweet Virgin Mother spewing ass blood all over the heathen grounds. Mama Maria, Mon Dieu, may they tear down this pagan den and build a shrine to the Mother, Blessed! Amen! ]]> False Religions and Cults Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080076-killing-heehaw-the-donkey-was-a-sweet-blessing Shall We Warn Sinners Jesus Will Return https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2080073-shall-we-warn-sinners-jesus-will-return Tue, 01 Sep 2026 20:59:16 GMT We True ChristiansTM here believe that Trump is so popular he will bring home Republicans in the midterm elections coming right up. What if we are wrong? Polls are showing we Republicans will lose the House and Senate. Jesus will not tolerate this. He will come down and take over. There can be... TM here believe that Trump is so popular he will bring home Republicans in the midterm elections coming right up. What if we are wrong? Polls are showing we Republicans will lose the House and Senate.

Jesus will not tolerate this. He will come down and take over. There can be doubt.

Of course, we at Landover Baptist have nothing to fear in His return. It will be a joyous event. My question is this: What obligation do we have to warn sinners they are in deep trouble? Do we say nothing and let them burn?

My inclination is the latter.

2026 Midterm Elections predictions & odds | Polymarket]]> Godly Politics Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2080073-shall-we-warn-sinners-jesus-will-return Facial piercings - acceptable for Christians? https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/landover-to-the-rescue-christian-help-forum/2080067-facial-piercings-acceptable-for-christians Tue, 01 Sep 2026 11:35:04 GMT

nostril M	assorted F
_	_
_	_
ear F	ear M

I've redacted the eyes due to they might become Christians and not wish to be reminded of the fad. Clearly any satanic motifs would be rejected, even if received as a gift. Neutral designs, an ear gauge or nose grommet say, are not intrinsically demonic. I'm not likely to wear one myself – but how should family members be advised if they're given one this Christmas? Are they spiritually neutral or is there in fact a sinister undertone regardless of the piece?

Thank you.]]> Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum MitzaLizalor https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/landover-to-the-rescue-christian-help-forum/2080067-facial-piercings-acceptable-for-christians Abyssinian Baptist Church https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080066-abyssinian-baptist-church Tue, 01 Sep 2026 10:17:28 GMT Abyssinian Baptist Church.

Getting there means travel but my real concern is whether or not it's a true Baptist Church? I know there's been Belgian influence, flooding in from the Belgian Congo aka Zaire, where the head guy changed his name to Mobutu Sese Seko Kuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga, something of a red flag in its own right. Now, of course, they've become a "The Demoratic.." something-or-other, even more alarming than "The Former.." prefixed to holiday destinations. And whatever they call themselves now, this piece of geography is very much The Former Abyssinia.

If I attend this Church, will there be zany rituals, far-out dancing, eerie drumbeats or out-of-time hand-clapping? My concerns are that if it is NOT in fact a True Baptist congregation, there could be a demonic presence waiting to attack me, approaching the severity of a catholic mass or even The Zen.

Any advice, of benefit to others too, will be appreciated.]]> False Religions and Cults MitzaLizalor https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2080066-abyssinian-baptist-church A Sign from God. https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/pastor-zeke-s-news-wire/2080046-a-sign-from-god Sat, 29 Aug 2026 10:13:08 GMT English Christians are not Christians at all - they are a variety of Catholic invented by a sex-mad king, and this miracle is a sign from God that he cannot abide heretics

A 41-year-old man has died and at least six other people have been injured after reports a large sign had fallen at a Christian festival in West Sussex, police said.

Sussex Police said it was called to the Big Church Festival at Wiston Park, near Steyning, at about 15:38 BST on Friday.

At least six people were taken to hospital for treatment, and a 41-year-old man, from Eastbourne, died at the scene. The local congressman said, "My thoughts are with all of those impacted at this time and those responding to the incident."

The Diocese of Chichester said: "We pray for all involved in this accident and those responding."

English Christians are not Christians at all - they are a variety of Catholic invented by a sex-mad king, and this miracle is a sign from God that he cannot abide heretics
]]> Ezekiel Bathfire https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/pastor-zeke-s-news-wire/2080046-a-sign-from-god