The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum - Forums https://www.landoverbaptist.net/ vBulletin Forums en Fri, 10 Jul 2026 09:15:58 GMT vBulletin 60 https://www.landoverbaptist.net/images/misc/rss.png The Landover Baptist Church Forum - Forums https://www.landoverbaptist.net/ President Trump Speaking July 4th, USA Year 250 https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/the-freehold-truth-and-light-baptist-newspaper/2079549-president-trump-speaking-july-4th-usa-year-250 Sun, 05 Jul 2026 01:01:10 GMT
Trump is the right President or this moment. We are blessed.

Trump kicks off the Fourth of July by slinging his new favorite insult

]]> The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/the-freehold-truth-and-light-baptist-newspaper/2079549-president-trump-speaking-july-4th-usa-year-250 Will AI replace the Jews? Or are they running AI? https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/creation-science/2079534-will-ai-replace-the-jews-or-are-they-running-ai Fri, 03 Jul 2026 03:33:19 GMT

Which is why I wonder, at risk of being a forward thinking futurist - will this nifty AI gazoo replace the joo? Jews have enjoyed the reputation for centuries of being clever know-it-alls - facts and figures come easy to them by the tip of their crooked nose. But now, anything I want to know, I can type into Google and the AI magically whips up a coherent answer in seconds! I can see the Jews feel threatened by this invention, which is why they are panicking about becoming redundant and invading Palestine to compensate for their severed manhoods.

Of course...maybe I'm just ten steps behind! O.O Maybe the Jews are the ones running the AI show. In which case, I should make my Google inquiries with a grain of salt. The calming effects of a soothing AI driven answer to my life's issues could just be so I may lower my guard and make it easy for them stick their greedy choo choos into my bank account!

So? What's the solution here? I think it's time I stop looking to Google for answers, and look into my Bible for life answers. Of course, I think it was a Jew who sold me my Bible at a discounted rate. ]]> Creation Science Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/creation-science/2079534-will-ai-replace-the-jews-or-are-they-running-ai Hello!!! Hello!!! https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/the-introduction-forum/2079501-hello-hello Wed, 01 Jul 2026 06:29:28 GMT I am so blessed, pleased, fortunate, rich in love, and blessed to be here.
I hope to get to know you all better very soon.

Obadiah verse 4: Though you ascend as high as the eagle,
And though you set your nest among the stars,
From there I will bring you down,” says the Lord.]]> The introduction forum Stoned Joe https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/the-introduction-forum/2079501-hello-hello Ali G cuts reflecting pond with a knife - arrest him https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/pastor-zeke-s-news-wire/2079490-ali-g-cuts-reflecting-pond-with-a-knife-arrest-him Mon, 29 Jun 2026 22:53:58 GMT I keep reading on the AI that British shoe bomber Ali G has destroyed America's reflecting swamp on Trump's 250th birthday. I watched the video proof and it's devastating. We need to bomb them NOW. ]]> Dr. Anthony J. Toole https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/pastor-zeke-s-news-wire/2079490-ali-g-cuts-reflecting-pond-with-a-knife-arrest-him Who Are We to Believe, Our President or Some Iranian Mullah https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2079428-who-are-we-to-believe-our-president-or-some-iranian-mullah Thu, 25 Jun 2026 21:49:21 GMT President Trump says the billion$ he handed over to the Godless Iranians will be used to buy products grown by our farmers. This will rise farm prices, a win for us. Those lying mullahs say that no, they will not be buying U.S. farm output. Put me down as believing our Christian President, not some...
Then there is ending the war. The President says the war is over and we won. The Mullahs are saying they will patrol to Straight and charge fees to whomever they wish. Can we believe them? Not for a minute.

'Only exports trash talks': Iran's Ghalibaf denies claim of using frozen funds to buy US agri items

]]> Godly Politics Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2079428-who-are-we-to-believe-our-president-or-some-iranian-mullah A Revenue Opportunity for Landover Baptist https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/the-freehold-truth-and-light-baptist-newspaper/2079389-a-revenue-opportunity-for-landover-baptist Tue, 23 Jun 2026 16:48:21 GMT
Before the answer, however, a fee must be paid to Landover Baptist. I'm really optimist our tech people could make this a successful revenue stream.

Text With Jesus launches voicemail-style audio responses from biblical figures

]]> The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-today/the-freehold-truth-and-light-baptist-newspaper/2079389-a-revenue-opportunity-for-landover-baptist Devilish Tomatoes! https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-baptist-war-on-sin/lbc-s-war-on-sin/2079379-devilish-tomatoes Sun, 21 Jun 2026 16:03:09 GMT Good Sunday Afternoon Friends, I just got back from an excellent sermon learning about Hebrews; I hope everyone else on here has gone to church also. However, I have found that my parents purchased something that has invited the devil into their house! Right from the grocery store. They...
I just got back from an excellent sermon learning about Hebrews; I hope everyone else on here has gone to church also. However, I have found that my parents purchased something that has invited the devil into their house! Right from the grocery store. They purchased Village Farms Campari tomatoes. What is concerning about it is it has in large print "Sinfully Sweet". What does that teach shoppers? That sin is ok just because it tastes sweet? I don't think so! It blatantly tells you what this product stands for.

By purchasing these tomatoes, you are standing in agreement with the devil and opening your house to sin! This is why it is not ok to eat devil cake or deviled eggs. My house shall only eat things that are heavenly and that does not stand in agreement with sin. I hope everyone on here will go through their kitchens and make sure you do not have this product. I will throw these out immediately!

]]> Anthony Harper https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/landover-baptist-war-on-sin/lbc-s-war-on-sin/2079379-devilish-tomatoes <![CDATA[It's Pride Month!]]> https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/straight-4-jesus-back-door-christians/2079370-it-s-pride-month Sat, 20 Jun 2026 22:16:56 GMT

But I know 😣 My anal fissures are a thing and as a concerned Mother I won't stay silent! Stop these fags from taking our children! Mon zizi.]]> Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/straight-4-jesus-back-door-christians/2079370-it-s-pride-month Juneteenth Is Divisive and Anti-Biblical https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2079364-juneteenth-is-divisive-and-anti-biblical Fri, 19 Jun 2026 18:54:24 GMT
Juneteenth is described as the day which commemorates "The emancipation of enslaved African Americans in the U.S." Furthermore, we are supposed to use this day to "reflect on the journey to freedom, the resilience of a people, and the ongoing pursuit of equality."

Those of us who have read the Bible know that physical bondage is not important and that only Jesus can free men from service to sin. Many times in the New Testament we learn of slaves accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior because their owners came to accept Christ and that Salvation trickled down to everyone in their household.

Equality is a myth when The Almighty Himself created us all different and appointed us to different roles and positions in this world. Resilience is dangerous if it fosters resistance to a mindset of submission to Divine Authority. And freedom is an illusion when our souls are under contract to Satan unless purchased by the Cleansing Blood of Christ.

Please join me in prayer that our current Administration will strike down this ungodly holiday.]]> Godly Politics handmaiden https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2079364-juneteenth-is-divisive-and-anti-biblical <![CDATA[Let's Prepare for Atheist/Liberal Aliens]]> https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079346-let-s-prepare-for-atheist-liberal-aliens Thu, 18 Jun 2026 15:17:21 GMT Added to the worry about the Obamas, Clintons, Bidens, etc., some Christians are bringing up a new concern. Frankly, it is a concern I share. There are any number of Unidentified Flying Objects (UFO) out there. New reports come in all the time. We have seen pictures of them here on our LBC site....
On the link below, someone regarded as an authority tells us we don't know who they are so we should not worry. Isn't this exactly what atheist/liberals want us to think?

I don't agree with that "authority" we should just sit back and see what happens. We have a weapon. Why not use it? The weapon is our Bible and the message it contains. Alien arrivals on earth need to know, first, God does not recognize them. They are not welcome. God created Adam, not some alien. Then He created Eve from a bone of Adam's when it became necessary. Then if the aliens don't leave, they need to know the consequences of sin. They need to hear God's message about an eternity in fire.

Frank Turek: Existence of aliens wouldn't 'affect Christianity' | U.S.

]]> General Church Fellowship Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079346-let-s-prepare-for-atheist-liberal-aliens Get Those Hare Krishnas and Their Chariots Off NYC Streets https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2079335-get-those-hare-krishnas-and-their-chariots-off-nyc-streets Wed, 17 Jun 2026 16:21:59 GMT Why would the Muslim Mayor in NTC allow Hare Krisna men in robes and make-up prance around his city streets. The Mayor needs to come to Jesus then run these dancing robes out of town. Hare Krishnas celebrate a 50-year milestone with a parade of chariots in Manhattan...
Hare Krishnas celebrate a 50-year milestone with a parade of chariots in Manhattan

]]> False Religions and Cults Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/false-religions-and-cults/2079335-get-those-hare-krishnas-and-their-chariots-off-nyc-streets <![CDATA[Richard Dawkins is a "cultural Christian"]]> https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/christian-history-forum/2079328-richard-dawkins-is-a-cultural-christian Wed, 17 Jun 2026 13:14:17 GMT
https://breakpoint.org/richard-dawki...ral-christian/

Which comes to an interesting point. Are atheists really just self-loathing Christians? They think they're too cool for Jesus, too smart for God, and they bury their heads, yet are still suckling the from the teet of the Virgin herself....whether they like it or not!! Which now makes me think? What makes the atheist so miserable? Were they dumped in high school and never got over it, or worse, forced themselves to shack up with an ugly husk and now look back with cheap regret and blame God? Did this happen to Mr. Dawkins? Forgive me! He seems like the type who would befall this fate.

]]> Christian history forum Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/christian-history-forum/2079328-richard-dawkins-is-a-cultural-christian Parable of the Mustard Seed Must Not be Ridiculed https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/bible-study/teaching-his-word/2079321-parable-of-the-mustard-seed-must-not-be-ridiculed Tue, 16 Jun 2026 21:47:42 GMT It makes me angry when atheists insult Jesus. In Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus lectures on the lesson of the mustard seed. Jesus tells us it is the smallest seed in the world. Liberal atheists like pointy-headed Bart Erhman say his path to atheism started with these scriptures because the mustard...
Matthew 13:31-32 NIV - The Parables of the Mustard Seed and - Bible Gateway

]]> Teaching His Word Johny Joe Hold https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/bible-study/teaching-his-word/2079321-parable-of-the-mustard-seed-must-not-be-ridiculed Democrats AGREE: Mario Bros. is PORN! https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/satan-s-entertainment/2079318-democrats-agree-mario-bros-is-porn Tue, 16 Jun 2026 19:06:56 GMT Democrats agree: Mario Bros. is PORN!

You may have noticed the clickbait headlines: "Food porn! House porn! Scenery porn! Design porn!"

Of course, I never clicked these, and as a result I didn't find out that they were not actually porn. Great to find out, better late than never, and my sincere apologies to all the "nature porn" content creators that I've had shadowbanned because I thought they were posting beastiality.

It turns out that our cultural elites decided that "Porn" actually means "content without a narrative".

Kind of strange, you'd think that the defining feature of porn would be, I don't know, something else?

And does this mean that 1970's adult films are okay for kids? In the 1970's, adult films had plotlines, meaning that they are not technically porn anymore.

I guess the inter-progressive debate over adult film has been decisively won by the pro-adult film side. I credit all of those racial cuckolding videos for turning the tide.

Why does a lack of narrative define porn?

Follow the money and see who benefits. Two groups that benefit are protectionists, and propagandists/missionaires.

Protectionists

It was writers who decided to redefine the word "porn". They took one of the most negative labels in the world and attached it to….Content that does not employ writers.

It would be like General Motors declaring Japanese cars to be "Brothels". Or the U.S. side of Niagara Falls declaring the Canadian side of Niagara Falls to be a Red Light District, and declaring anyone who goes there to be a Sex Tourist.

All of these are great ideas and I fully support them, but I'm not a cultural elite so I don't have the privilege of making these dreams come true. Only cultural elites have the privilege of engaging in blatant protectionism while hiding the whole thing in plain sight.

Missionaries

In order to be a missionary of the State Church of wokeism, media needs to have narrative.

Technically, Super Mario Bros. 2 had a tranny character (or something) but you'd never even know if you didn't read the manual. (And of course nobody ever reads the manual for anything, because reading the manual is an admission that you failed.)

Yes, I know any university-educated bullspitter can write a 3,000-word thinkpiece on the problematic politics of "Pong", but the rest of us are mouth-breathing yokels so the Propaganda Of Pong goes right over our heads.

After all, you'd think "Simcity" would have political implications, but judging by the amount of urban voters who think that the best way to increase employment is to delete all the police stations and put the tax slider to maximum, it seems that people really need to be hit over the head with the messaging if it is going to be effective. That explains why your average light entertainment these days makes Atlas Shrugged look wishy-washy. Ayn Rand, you lukewarm fence-sitter, take a freaking stand for once in your life!

Democrats agree: Mario Bros. is PORN!

When I politely pointed out that Mario games are porn, I was persecuted for it. You won't believe how many people registered for this forum just to post….Plotless-content-without-narrative, by which I mean high-resolution close-ups of gay anal sex.

And now it turns out that Democrats agreed with me the whole time! Mario Games are plotless, therefore MARIO IS PORN! ]]> Jeb Stuart Thurmond https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/satan-s-entertainment/2079318-democrats-agree-mario-bros-is-porn <![CDATA[I'M PRO-CHOICE on terrorism policy.]]> https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2079315-i-m-pro-choice-on-terrorism-policy Tue, 16 Jun 2026 16:59:37 GMT I'm pro-choice on terrorism policy.

Here's how it works today: let's say you're an immigrant, and you're Jewish and a group of neo-nazi terrorists abduct you and hold you hostage, while engaging in all sorts of traumatizing behavior, up to and including manspreading and denying you your universal human right to fabric softener.

(If this is too triggering, here's an alternate scenario: say you're an immigrant, and you're Jewish and a group of anti-colonialist activists give you a mostly-peaceful undocumented vacation in their crawlspace, while engaging in mostly-peaceful undocumented intimacy with your female-coded bodyparts.)

Now, at this point people start arguing over which one-size-fits-all policy we should take. Republicans say the best policy is to fight. Democrats say the best policy is to pay whatever ransom the terrorists demand, while changing their profile pics to swastikas because "think of the children".

Instead of arguing until we're blue in the face, we can simply respond the way the hostage wants us to respond. They already told us with their voter registration.

...

If the hostage is a republican, we'll fight.

If the hostage is a democrat, we'll pay the terrorists whatever ransom they demand.

…

Are you a democrat and this seems like a bad idea for some reason?

Maybe that reason is that you're not actually a democrat after all.]]> Godly Politics Jeb Stuart Thurmond https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/godly-politics/2079315-i-m-pro-choice-on-terrorism-policy