The Landover Baptist Church Forum - General Church Fellowship https://www.landoverbaptist.net/ A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. en Wed, 12 Aug 2026 00:30:38 GMT vBulletin 60 https://www.landoverbaptist.net/images/misc/rss.png The Landover Baptist Church Forum - General Church Fellowship https://www.landoverbaptist.net/ This is the life...or is it? https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079858-this-is-the-life-or-is-it Tue, 04 Aug 2026 18:10:32 GMT General Church Fellowship Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079858-this-is-the-life-or-is-it On behalf of Canada, excuse moi for the toxic plumage of smoke. https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079735-on-behalf-of-canada-excuse-moi-for-the-toxic-plumage-of-smoke Tue, 21 Jul 2026 12:52:41 GMT It is true, it looks like your president trump has imposed 50% tariffs on us, and while I do not live in Ontario, I feel it is the gracious thing to extend my sincere apologies from us, if any of you are currently choking right now. Please do not send your exploding diarhea virus in retaliation to... It is true, it looks like your president trump has imposed 50% tariffs on us, and while I do not live in Ontario, I feel it is the gracious thing to extend my sincere apologies from us, if any of you are currently choking right now. Please do not send your exploding diarhea virus in retaliation to us. It would not be good. Merci beaucoup. General Church Fellowship Madame Frottage https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079735-on-behalf-of-canada-excuse-moi-for-the-toxic-plumage-of-smoke God and Explosive Diarrhea https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079666-god-and-explosive-diarrhea Tue, 14 Jul 2026 17:23:34 GMT I’m surprised and disappointed that the most reliable news channel has seen fit to give this advice in its article headlined “You got the ‘explosive’ diarrhea parasite. Now what?” (https://fox8.com/news/you-got-the-explosive-diarrhea-parasite-now-what/) “What’s wrong with that?” I hear you ask.... I’m surprised and disappointed that the most reliable news channel has seen fit to give this advice in its article headlined “You got the ‘explosive’ diarrhea parasite. Now what?”

“What’s wrong with that?” I hear you ask. Well, for starters read on:
Cyclosporiasis is caused by Cyclospora cayatenensis, a parasite that is rare in the U.S. It can be spread through food and water that have been contaminated with feces. Those who become ill may have picked up the parasite while traveling to a country where it is commonly found, according to Wisconsin health officials. At least 45 people have, so far, reported becoming ill after eating or drinking water outside of the U.S., CDC data show.

Cases in the U.S. are, instead, more often connected to contaminated fresh produce, like romaine lettuce, basil, cilantro, snow peas, and raspberries. While it’s not clear what has caused the recent cases, the CDC said “there is currently no evidence of a single, multistate … outbreak.”
There’s no real proof that germs cause illness – “germ theory” is just that - a theory. Anyone can have a theory, they’re 10 a penny.

Ever seen a germ? No, neither have I. Scientists say there are germs, but are there? Yes, they show you pictures of things but they could be anything – bits of lint; some kid’s drawing, dirt, etc. It is stupid to believe in things you can’t see, especially when Jesus tells you how not to be sick:

M'r:16:16: He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
M'r:16:17: And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
M'r:16:18: They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
M'r:16:19: So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.

There you have it: Jesus’s last words on earth – “if you believe in me, you’ll not get explosive diarrhea!” What could be clearer?

Explosive diarrhea is God’s way of telling the rest of you how powerful He is. He sees a sinner, He inflicts him with explosive diarrhea and that sinner becomes a walking advert for God’s power as per John 9:1 – 3.
Click image for larger version Name: Explosion.jpg Views: 0 Size: 141.8 KB ID: 2079667



I encourage you all to come to the Sundays Service at Landover Baptist Church and hear Pastor Zeke on the topic! Last week’s service was so descriptive that 5 members of the congregation had an instantaneous attack of explosive diarrhea, thus marking them out as sinners who should not have been there!

Show your faith, pray, preach it in the streets, and come to Landover to strengthen your faith – don’t worry, you’ll be among friends and if things go according to plan, you get to see a few sinners advertising God.

]]> General Church Fellowship Ezekiel Bathfire https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079666-god-and-explosive-diarrhea God and Explosive Diarrhea https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079664-god-and-explosive-diarrhea Tue, 14 Jul 2026 17:20:16 GMT I’m surprised and disappointed that the most reliable news channel has seen fit to give this advice in its article headlined “You got the ‘explosive’ diarrhea parasite. Now what?” (https://fox8.com/news/you-got-the-explosive-diarrhea-parasite-now-what/) “What’s wrong with that?” I hear you ask.... I’m surprised and disappointed that the most reliable news channel has seen fit to give this advice in its article headlined “You got the ‘explosive’ diarrhea parasite. Now what?”

“What’s wrong with that?” I hear you ask. Well, for starters read on:
Cyclosporiasis is caused by Cyclospora cayatenensis, a parasite that is rare in the U.S. It can be spread through food and water that have been contaminated with feces. Those who become ill may have picked up the parasite while traveling to a country where it is commonly found, according to Wisconsin health officials. At least 45 people have, so far, reported becoming ill after eating or drinking water outside of the U.S., CDC data show.

Cases in the U.S. are, instead, more often connected to contaminated fresh produce, like romaine lettuce, basil, cilantro, snow peas, and raspberries. While it’s not clear what has caused the recent cases, the CDC said “there is currently no evidence of a single, multistate … outbreak.”
There’s no real proof that germs cause illness – “germ theory” is just that - a theory. Anyone can have a theory, they’re 10 a penny.

Ver seen a germ? No neither have I. Scientists say there are germs, but are there? Yes, yes, they show you pictures of things but they could be anything – bits of lint; some kid’s drawing, etc. It is stupid to believe in things you can’t see, especially when Jesus tells you how not to be sick:

M'r:16:16: He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
M'r:16:17: And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
M'r:16:18: They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
M'r:16:19: So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.

There you have it: Jesus’s last words on earth – “if you believe in me, you’ll not get explosive diarrhea!” What could be clearer?

Explosive diarrhea is God’s way of telling the rest of you how powerful He is. He sees a sinner, He inflicts him with explosive diarrhea and that sinner becomes a walking advert for God’s power as per John 9:1 – 3.
Click image for larger version Name: Explosion.jpg Views: 60 Size: 141.8 KB ID: 2079665

I encourage you all to come to the Sundays Service at Landover Baptist Church and hear Pastor Zeke on the topic! Last week’s service was so descriptive that 5 members of the congregation had an instantaneous attack of explosive diarrhea, thus marking them out as sinners who should not have been there!

Show your faith, pray, preach it in the streets, and come to Landover to strengthen your faith – don’t worry, you’ll be among friends and if things go according to plan, you see a few sinners advertising God.




]]> General Church Fellowship Ezekiel Bathfire https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forum/church-forums/general-church-fellowship/2079664-god-and-explosive-diarrhea