Brethren and Sistren
The question that I am most commonly asked after my sermons, is how we can be sure of our Salvation™.
My immediate reply is always that we should put our confidence in God our Saviour Who will have all men to be saved (1st Timothy 2:3-4).
Nonetheless, for those straying sheep that still struggle with their faith I present this handy chart to help on your path towards the light:
Salvation by baptism
In order to make it easy I have put the right answer at the top of the list.
John the Baptist was the greatest prophet ever (Luke 7:28), and Jesus stated unequivocally that you cannot enter the kingdom of God except ye be baptized.
John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
John 3:4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
John 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Salvation for all
This is the most tempting answer. Before Jesus came to earth we were all lost, because in our wickedness we had rejected God.
When Jesus atoned us with God and paid our debts at the cross, Salvation should be for all, no matter whether we believe or not. It's not the sinners fault that they are too depraved to find Salvation™.
Romans 5:17 For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.)
Romans 5:18 Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life.
Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,
Salvation through works
Automatic salvation is a beautiful thought but it's hard to finance a multi-billion dollar enterprise like the Catholic Church if people are already saved. Fortunately there are many places, where Jesus demands works as a condition for salvation.
Matthew 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Matthew 16:27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
Matthew 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
Matthew 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Matthew 25:36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Matthew 25:37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
Matthew 25:38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Matthew 25:39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Revelation 20:12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.
Revelation 20:13 And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.
The Catholics have even invented something they call "the Original Sin". The "original" part is that you can pay your way to the Pearly Gates with a "letter of indulgence" or a few wax candles.
Salvation through faith not works (Sola Fide)
Martin Luther preferred to read the epistles of Saint Paul, and concluded that salvation comes only through faith, and not through works:
Romans 3:28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.
[. . .]
Romans 4,2 For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God.
Romans 4:3 For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness.
Romans 4:4 Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt.
Romans 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.
Romans 4:6 Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works,
Galatians 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.
Salvation through faith and works
The epistle of James appears to have been written with the express purpose of contradicting Saint Paul (and Martin Luther).
James, the brother of Christ, uses the same example of Father Abraham that Saint Paul had used to prove his Sola Fide -- and arrives at the exact opposite conclusion:
James 2:14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
[. . .]
James 2:17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
[. . .]
James 2:20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
[. . .]
James 2:24 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.
[. . .]
James 2:26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
This is where I usually add that faith without works may be dead, but Saint James says nothing about faith with works. So this is not an excuse to stop tithing.
Salvation by grace not faith and works
Since God determines what we're allowed to think, it follows that it's solely up to God's mercy whether we will repent. Saint Paul reminds us how God hardened Pharaoh's heart:
Romans 9:14 What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid.
Romans 9:15 For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.
Romans 9:16 So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.
Romans 9:17 For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth.
Romans 9:18 Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.
Don't forget that God can make people believe (Acts 16:14) and not believe 2nd Thessalonians 2:11.
Salvation by faith and grace not works
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Ephesians 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Salvation by washing robes not works
Our trusty old King James describes the blessed firstfruits who shall live in the New Jerusalem and eat from the Tree of Life:
Revelation 22:14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
However, the ASV and countless other modern perverted Bibles have a different advice for us
Revelation 22:14 Blessed are they that wash their robes, that they may have the right to come to the tree of life, and may enter in by the gates into the city.
Salvation by not blaspheming against the Holy Ghost
Jesus forgives everything: Pedophilia, cannibalism, slave trading, human sacrifices, genocide and Democrat fund-raising. As long as you don't speak against the Holy Ghost.
Matthew 12:31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
Matthew 12:32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
Salvation by doing what's lawful and right (no need for Jesus as redeemer)
Ezekiel 18,21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
Ezekiel 18,22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
Ezekiel 18,23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?
[. . .]
Ezekiel 18,27 Again, when the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul alive.
Doing the will of the Father (not faith and works)
It's not enough to believe. Hell is full of people who thought they were saved. Doing "many wonderful works" won't help you either:
Matthew 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Salvation by grace and purpose (not works)
2 Timothy 1:9 Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,
Salvation by grace and baptism, (not works)
Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
Salvation by keeping the commandments
Matthew 19:17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
Giving everything to the poor (keeping the commandments is not enough)
Mark 10:17 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?
[. . .]
Mark 10:19 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.
Mark 10:20 And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth.
Mark 10:21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.
Salvation by giving 50% to the poor
Sometimes you don't have to give everything you own -- giving 50% is OK with Jesus:
Luke 19:8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.
Luke 19:9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.
Salvation by faith and baptism
In general the three Synoptics (i.e. Mark, Matthew and Luke) don't have any requirement that you have to believe in Jesus. The only exception is the end of Mark (Catholics will claim that this ending is spurious; don't listen to them!!):
Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
Salvation by hunger and poverty
The story of the beggar Lazarus is very interesting. This is the only account we have from the inside of Hell and Paradise:
Lazarus is a socialistic parasite. Instead of taking his hands out his pockets, he's lying before the hardworking rich man's door, waiting for the government to feed him, while letting dogs lick his wounds. And yet he ends up in Paradise, while the rich man goes to Hell. Abraham explains to the rich man:
Luke 16:25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
Nothing in the story indicates that Lazarus has deserved his salvation. Neither through works, faith, baptism or repentance. By the same token nothing indicates that the hardworking rich man was in any way wicked: If Lazarus was lying in front of the door, it must have been because he knew he'd get a handout every now and then.
The rich man goes to Hell, only because he's rich, while Lazarus is rocking in the bosom of Abraham.
Jesus said something similar in his Sermon of the Mount (according to Saint Luke this took place on a plain):
Luke 6:20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.
[. . .]
Luke 6:24 But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation.
Salvation by obeying Jesus
Hebrews 5:9 And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;
Salvation by confession and faith
Many Christians believe Jesus arose from the dead by his own powers, but those Christians are going to Hell. You have to believe that was God that raised Jesus:
Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Salvation by self-castration
Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
In the last book of the Bible -- the Revelation of St. John -- we're getting a description of the first people to enter Heaven:
Revelation 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.
Catholics take this very literally. Just ask Origen of Alexandria.
Salvation by hearing the words of Jesus and believing
John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
Salvation by being Jewish
When everything has been said and done, Jesus was the King of Jews, son of a Jewish god, being born by a Jewish family as the son of David in order to fulfill a lot of prophecies in the Jewish Torah.
If you're not Jewish, then you're out of luck. For instance, there once was a Greek woman who asked Jesus to help her sick daughter. Jesus called her a dog and added:
Matthew 15:24 But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
In fact Jesus forbade his disciple to go to the Gentiles:
Matthew 10:5 These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not:
Matthew 10:6 But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
Salvation by one's own words
Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
Matthew 12:37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Salvation by calling on the name of the Lord
Acts 2:21 And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Salvation by predestination
Matthew 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
Ephesians 1:4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
Ephesians 1:5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
[. . .]
Ephesians 1:11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
Salvation by eating Jesus' flesh and drinking his blood
John 6:48 I am that bread of life.
John 6:49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead.
John 6:50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die.
John 6:51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.
John 6:52 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat?
John 6:53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.
John 6:54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.
John 6:55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.
John 6:56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.
John 6:57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.
John 6:58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.
Salvation by gifts to the church
There's about 1 billion Catholics in the world who still consider the Apocryphal books to be God's word:
In the second Book of the Maccabees, a lot of men die in a fight because they followed false gods. But Judas Maccabeus starts a collection to redeem the men from their sins before the Resurrection
2 Maccabees 12:43 And when he had made a gathering throughout the company to the sum of two thousand drachms of silver, he sent it to Jerusalem to offer a sin offering, doing therein very well and honestly, in that he was mindful of the resurrection:
2 Maccabees 12:44 For if he had not hoped that they that were slain should have risen again, it had been superfluous and vain to pray for the dead.
2 Maccabees 12:45 And also in that he perceived that there was great favour laid up for those that died godly, it was an holy and good thought. Whereupon he made a reconciliation for the dead, that they might be delivered from sin.
Salvation by prayer
Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
Matthew 7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Matthew 7:9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
Matthew 7:10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
Matthew 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
Salvation by being poor in spirit. DUH!
Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Salvation by forgiving other people
Mattew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Salvation by bearing children (only for women)
Saint Paul ends one of his sermons with a promise:
1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
1 Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
1 Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Salvation by loving God and thy neighbour
Luke 10:25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
Luke 10:26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?
Luke 10:27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
Luke 10:28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
Salvation by ignorance
One of the great theological questions is what happens to people, who haven't heard the Gospel. Bleeding-heart lie-berals often think it unfair if all members of some backward Indian village out in the jungle shall burn in Hell just because they've never heard about Jesus.
However, a few verses do indicate that ignorance may be a valid excuse:
John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin.
[. . .]
John 15:24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.
In the above verses, Jesus says clearly that if thay hadn't heard about Jesus and seen his mighty works, they wouldn't be counted as sinners.
James 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
You're a sinner if you "knoweth to do good" -- so conversely you cannot be a sinner if you don't "knoweth to do good".
Luke 12:48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
Much is demanded of "whomsoever much is given", so logically you must demand less from those who have been "given less" i.e. haven't received the gospel.
But on the other hand: If you can be saved by ignorance, then missionary work is a crime.
There's nothing to be saved from
I guess you could construe a case, that there's neither Heaven nor Hell, and that dead people feel nothing (sinners like to believe this):
Ecclesiastes 3:19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 3:20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.
Ecclesiastes 3:21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?
Ecclesiastes 9:5 For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.
Ecclesiastes 9:6 Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun.
[. . .]
Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
Job 7:9 As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away: so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more.
Isaiah 26:14 They are dead, they shall not live; they are deceased, they shall not rise: therefore hast thou visited and destroyed them, and made all their memory to perish.
Psalm 49:11 For he seeth that wise men die, likewise the fool and the brutish person perish, and leave their wealth to others.
Psalm 49:12 Their inward thought is, that their houses shall continue for ever, and their dwelling places to all generations; they call their lands after their own names.
Psalm 49:13 Nevertheless man being in honour abideth not: he is like the beasts that perish.
[. . .]
Psalm 49:20 He shall go to the generation of his fathers; they shall never see light.
Psalm 49:21 Man that is in honour, and understandeth not, is like the beasts that perish.
Psalm 58:9 As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
Isaiah 38:18 For the grave cannot praise thee, death can not celebrate thee: they that go down into the pit cannot hope for thy truth.
Salvation by paedobaptism and Confirmation
I just put that in for laughs to end on a happy note.
There's nothing about paedobaptism and Confirmation in the Bible
With so many paths to Salvation™, how can we fail?
The question that I am most commonly asked after my sermons, is how we can be sure of our Salvation™.
My immediate reply is always that we should put our confidence in God our Saviour Who will have all men to be saved (1st Timothy 2:3-4).
Nonetheless, for those straying sheep that still struggle with their faith I present this handy chart to help on your path towards the light:
Salvation by baptism
In order to make it easy I have put the right answer at the top of the list.
John the Baptist was the greatest prophet ever (Luke 7:28), and Jesus stated unequivocally that you cannot enter the kingdom of God except ye be baptized.
John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
John 3:4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
John 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Salvation for all
This is the most tempting answer. Before Jesus came to earth we were all lost, because in our wickedness we had rejected God.
When Jesus atoned us with God and paid our debts at the cross, Salvation should be for all, no matter whether we believe or not. It's not the sinners fault that they are too depraved to find Salvation™.
Romans 5:17 For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.)
Romans 5:18 Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life.
Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,
Salvation through works
Automatic salvation is a beautiful thought but it's hard to finance a multi-billion dollar enterprise like the Catholic Church if people are already saved. Fortunately there are many places, where Jesus demands works as a condition for salvation.
Matthew 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Matthew 16:27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
Matthew 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
Matthew 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Matthew 25:36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Matthew 25:37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
Matthew 25:38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Matthew 25:39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Revelation 20:12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.
Revelation 20:13 And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.
The Catholics have even invented something they call "the Original Sin". The "original" part is that you can pay your way to the Pearly Gates with a "letter of indulgence" or a few wax candles.
Salvation through faith not works (Sola Fide)
Martin Luther preferred to read the epistles of Saint Paul, and concluded that salvation comes only through faith, and not through works:
Romans 3:28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.
[. . .]
Romans 4,2 For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God.
Romans 4:3 For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness.
Romans 4:4 Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt.
Romans 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.
Romans 4:6 Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works,
Galatians 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.
Salvation through faith and works
The epistle of James appears to have been written with the express purpose of contradicting Saint Paul (and Martin Luther).
James, the brother of Christ, uses the same example of Father Abraham that Saint Paul had used to prove his Sola Fide -- and arrives at the exact opposite conclusion:
James 2:14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
[. . .]
James 2:17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
[. . .]
James 2:20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
[. . .]
James 2:24 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.
[. . .]
James 2:26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
This is where I usually add that faith without works may be dead, but Saint James says nothing about faith with works. So this is not an excuse to stop tithing.
Salvation by grace not faith and works
Since God determines what we're allowed to think, it follows that it's solely up to God's mercy whether we will repent. Saint Paul reminds us how God hardened Pharaoh's heart:
Romans 9:14 What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid.
Romans 9:15 For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.
Romans 9:16 So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.
Romans 9:17 For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth.
Romans 9:18 Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.
Don't forget that God can make people believe (Acts 16:14) and not believe 2nd Thessalonians 2:11.
Salvation by faith and grace not works
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Ephesians 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Salvation by washing robes not works
Our trusty old King James describes the blessed firstfruits who shall live in the New Jerusalem and eat from the Tree of Life:
Revelation 22:14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
However, the ASV and countless other modern perverted Bibles have a different advice for us
Revelation 22:14 Blessed are they that wash their robes, that they may have the right to come to the tree of life, and may enter in by the gates into the city.
Salvation by not blaspheming against the Holy Ghost
Jesus forgives everything: Pedophilia, cannibalism, slave trading, human sacrifices, genocide and Democrat fund-raising. As long as you don't speak against the Holy Ghost.
Matthew 12:31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
Matthew 12:32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
Salvation by doing what's lawful and right (no need for Jesus as redeemer)
Ezekiel 18,21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
Ezekiel 18,22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
Ezekiel 18,23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?
[. . .]
Ezekiel 18,27 Again, when the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul alive.
Doing the will of the Father (not faith and works)
It's not enough to believe. Hell is full of people who thought they were saved. Doing "many wonderful works" won't help you either:
Matthew 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Salvation by grace and purpose (not works)
2 Timothy 1:9 Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,
Salvation by grace and baptism, (not works)
Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
Salvation by keeping the commandments
Matthew 19:17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
Giving everything to the poor (keeping the commandments is not enough)
Mark 10:17 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?
[. . .]
Mark 10:19 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.
Mark 10:20 And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth.
Mark 10:21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.
Salvation by giving 50% to the poor
Sometimes you don't have to give everything you own -- giving 50% is OK with Jesus:
Luke 19:8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.
Luke 19:9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.
Salvation by faith and baptism
In general the three Synoptics (i.e. Mark, Matthew and Luke) don't have any requirement that you have to believe in Jesus. The only exception is the end of Mark (Catholics will claim that this ending is spurious; don't listen to them!!):
Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
Salvation by hunger and poverty
The story of the beggar Lazarus is very interesting. This is the only account we have from the inside of Hell and Paradise:
Lazarus is a socialistic parasite. Instead of taking his hands out his pockets, he's lying before the hardworking rich man's door, waiting for the government to feed him, while letting dogs lick his wounds. And yet he ends up in Paradise, while the rich man goes to Hell. Abraham explains to the rich man:
Luke 16:25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
Nothing in the story indicates that Lazarus has deserved his salvation. Neither through works, faith, baptism or repentance. By the same token nothing indicates that the hardworking rich man was in any way wicked: If Lazarus was lying in front of the door, it must have been because he knew he'd get a handout every now and then.
The rich man goes to Hell, only because he's rich, while Lazarus is rocking in the bosom of Abraham.
Jesus said something similar in his Sermon of the Mount (according to Saint Luke this took place on a plain):
Luke 6:20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.
[. . .]
Luke 6:24 But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation.
Salvation by obeying Jesus
Hebrews 5:9 And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;
Salvation by confession and faith
Many Christians believe Jesus arose from the dead by his own powers, but those Christians are going to Hell. You have to believe that was God that raised Jesus:
Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Salvation by self-castration
Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
In the last book of the Bible -- the Revelation of St. John -- we're getting a description of the first people to enter Heaven:
Revelation 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.
Catholics take this very literally. Just ask Origen of Alexandria.
Salvation by hearing the words of Jesus and believing
John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
Salvation by being Jewish
When everything has been said and done, Jesus was the King of Jews, son of a Jewish god, being born by a Jewish family as the son of David in order to fulfill a lot of prophecies in the Jewish Torah.
If you're not Jewish, then you're out of luck. For instance, there once was a Greek woman who asked Jesus to help her sick daughter. Jesus called her a dog and added:
Matthew 15:24 But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
In fact Jesus forbade his disciple to go to the Gentiles:
Matthew 10:5 These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not:
Matthew 10:6 But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
Salvation by one's own words
Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
Matthew 12:37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Salvation by calling on the name of the Lord
Acts 2:21 And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Salvation by predestination
Matthew 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
Ephesians 1:4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
Ephesians 1:5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
[. . .]
Ephesians 1:11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
Salvation by eating Jesus' flesh and drinking his blood
John 6:48 I am that bread of life.
John 6:49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead.
John 6:50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die.
John 6:51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.
John 6:52 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat?
John 6:53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.
John 6:54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.
John 6:55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.
John 6:56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.
John 6:57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.
John 6:58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.
Salvation by gifts to the church
There's about 1 billion Catholics in the world who still consider the Apocryphal books to be God's word:
In the second Book of the Maccabees, a lot of men die in a fight because they followed false gods. But Judas Maccabeus starts a collection to redeem the men from their sins before the Resurrection
2 Maccabees 12:43 And when he had made a gathering throughout the company to the sum of two thousand drachms of silver, he sent it to Jerusalem to offer a sin offering, doing therein very well and honestly, in that he was mindful of the resurrection:
2 Maccabees 12:44 For if he had not hoped that they that were slain should have risen again, it had been superfluous and vain to pray for the dead.
2 Maccabees 12:45 And also in that he perceived that there was great favour laid up for those that died godly, it was an holy and good thought. Whereupon he made a reconciliation for the dead, that they might be delivered from sin.
Salvation by prayer
Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
Matthew 7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Matthew 7:9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
Matthew 7:10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
Matthew 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
Salvation by being poor in spirit. DUH!
Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Salvation by forgiving other people
Mattew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Salvation by bearing children (only for women)
Saint Paul ends one of his sermons with a promise:
1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
1 Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
1 Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Salvation by loving God and thy neighbour
Luke 10:25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
Luke 10:26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?
Luke 10:27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
Luke 10:28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
Salvation by ignorance
One of the great theological questions is what happens to people, who haven't heard the Gospel. Bleeding-heart lie-berals often think it unfair if all members of some backward Indian village out in the jungle shall burn in Hell just because they've never heard about Jesus.
However, a few verses do indicate that ignorance may be a valid excuse:
John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin.
[. . .]
John 15:24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.
In the above verses, Jesus says clearly that if thay hadn't heard about Jesus and seen his mighty works, they wouldn't be counted as sinners.
James 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
You're a sinner if you "knoweth to do good" -- so conversely you cannot be a sinner if you don't "knoweth to do good".
Luke 12:48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
Much is demanded of "whomsoever much is given", so logically you must demand less from those who have been "given less" i.e. haven't received the gospel.
But on the other hand: If you can be saved by ignorance, then missionary work is a crime.
There's nothing to be saved from
I guess you could construe a case, that there's neither Heaven nor Hell, and that dead people feel nothing (sinners like to believe this):
Ecclesiastes 3:19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 3:20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.
Ecclesiastes 3:21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?
Ecclesiastes 9:5 For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.
Ecclesiastes 9:6 Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun.
[. . .]
Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
Job 7:9 As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away: so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more.
Isaiah 26:14 They are dead, they shall not live; they are deceased, they shall not rise: therefore hast thou visited and destroyed them, and made all their memory to perish.
Psalm 49:11 For he seeth that wise men die, likewise the fool and the brutish person perish, and leave their wealth to others.
Psalm 49:12 Their inward thought is, that their houses shall continue for ever, and their dwelling places to all generations; they call their lands after their own names.
Psalm 49:13 Nevertheless man being in honour abideth not: he is like the beasts that perish.
[. . .]
Psalm 49:20 He shall go to the generation of his fathers; they shall never see light.
Psalm 49:21 Man that is in honour, and understandeth not, is like the beasts that perish.
Psalm 58:9 As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
Isaiah 38:18 For the grave cannot praise thee, death can not celebrate thee: they that go down into the pit cannot hope for thy truth.
Salvation by paedobaptism and Confirmation
I just put that in for laughs to end on a happy note.
There's nothing about paedobaptism and Confirmation in the Bible
With so many paths to Salvation™, how can we fail?
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