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  • Math is Hard

    As a Divinity student in pursuit of a doctorate so that my church might name me as a youth pastor, I find myself facing a very difficult statistics course. I have scoured the Bible looking for answers related to deviations, means, modes, and more advanced topics, but I have come up short.


    Is there a person versed in statistics among the congregation who might help me study? I promise payment for such tutelage.


    Please help me achieve this oft-delayed goal, brethren. Even by mail my professor is making me feel quite inadequate. Even as a handsome, well built, intelligent and brave certified equine gnathologist, I can't impress this man with anything except correct answers.


    In prayer,
    BrotherLarry
    Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
    “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

    Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
    Amen and Amen

  • #2
    Re: Math is Hard

    My five sons - all between 10 and 18 and all good looking and clean limbed - are good with math. If you'd like, I could send one or more of them to you for a week or so to help you. Do you have a preference?
    Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
    1 Corinthians 11:13

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Math is Hard

      Originally posted by Dana723 View Post
      My five sons - all between 10 and 18 and all good looking and clean limbed - are good with math. If you'd like, I could send one or more of them to you for a week or so to help you. Do you have a preference?

      What a thoughtful offer. However, I cannot consort with those who are not True Christians(TM), no matter how much this means to me.


      I have Heaven to gain and Hell to shun.
      Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
      “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

      Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
      Amen and Amen

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Math is Hard

        Yes, math is hard. So are Catholic priests. I imagine that crucifix they hang in cathylick schools has a marvel effect on maths performance.

        Perhaps seek Father Mo Lester for practical tutoring? (But make a hasty exit before the lesson gets too freaky.)

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Math is Hard

          Dear youth in ignorance,

          Math is not hard!



          1 John 3:22
          And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.


          Yours in Christ,

          Elmer
          2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



          PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
          Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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          • #6
            Re: Math is Hard

            Statistics, you say? I got an A in that by attending roughly 147% of all the classroom lectures. Also, I took three times as long to finish the exam than any of my classmates.

            Here is an example of a problem:


            You are in a hurry to dress and you must grab a pair of socks from a dark closet. In the closet are six pairs each of black, blue and brown socks. How many socks to you need to blindly grab before you have a matching set?


            Four socks, and that is a stupid exam question. If you have three colors and you pull out one of each color in your first three tries, then of course the next sock grabbed has to match one of the original three colors!


            I don't know why the professor put such a silly question on the test. He's dead now and I'm sure God has dealt with him properly.
            His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

            Guns For God and the Economy

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Math is Hard

              Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
              As a Divinity student in pursuit of a doctorate so that my church might name me as a youth pastor, I find myself facing a very difficult statistics course. I have scoured the Bible looking for answers related to deviations, means, modes, and more advanced topics, but I have come up short.


              Is there a person versed in statistics among the congregation who might help me study? I promise payment for such tutelage.


              Please help me achieve this oft-delayed goal, brethren. Even by mail my professor is making me feel quite inadequate. Even as a handsome, well built, intelligent and brave certified equine gnathologist, I can't impress this man with anything except correct answers.


              In prayer,
              BrotherLarry
              I am not suggesting that statisticians have weak points but when formulating your hypothesis apparently it helps to know which test (or tests, multiple challenges are preferred for robust outcomes) will be applied. Do you want possible outcomes in discrete increments or located on a continuum? Joshua understood this:
              Joshua 24:14-15 Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

              The most eccentric of mathematicians often have the least outré requirements in other fields. Unfortunately. Play a little; enquire about pyramids on Mars or something to see what happens. Those whose eyes glisten and whose mouths spout nonsense about non-Euclidean triangles mandating polyhedral circles in 4-dimensional space should be avoided, from your perspective from what I've heard. It's improbable that you'll come across one of those so for your assignment look for something having quite likely outcomes.

              The twanging sound of a harpsichord for example irritates some species while at the same there's creatures who can't hear it at all. A little home experimentation will throw up some excellent species for your hypothesis where obvious responses to (I just put this up as an example) dropping an anvil on a harpsichord may be affected in a non random way. Use of electrical shocks, I've been informed, are not permitted. But let's face it: an owl receiving continuous electrical shocks which cease when the anvil strikes the harpsichord is a very different owl from one constrained in silent darkness then WHANGO!!! its anvil-harpsichord apocalypse is accompanied by 500 volts. Or 450. Maybe 10? There'll be a crossover point where the electrical shock becomes more noticeable for the owl than the disintegration of the harpsichord to which it's attached.

              Your examiner will have similar crossover points. You're looking for more or less probable responses and how they may be more or less effectively elicited. At the point where you can make predictions, there you have statistics.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Math is Hard

                Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                In the closet are six pairs each of black, blue and brown socks. How many socks do you need to blindly grab before you have a matching set?
                You are absolutely right, Sister Handmaiden - that is a very silly question indeed. Leaving aside the question of who in their right mind buys different colored socks, which is just frivolous, even little Nathanael (not quite 6 years old) saw the obvious flaw in the question which is that if a person is blind, how would they even know what color the socks were?

                Brother Larry, when I stopped calling it "math" and started calling it "sums" instead, my children made much better progress (and so did I). I do hope that helps?

                YiC
                JL-V
                Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Math is Hard

                  Sister Joanna:


                  You are kind as ever. I will immediately begin calling the class "Sums," to see if that helps. I will get back to you.


                  Sister Handmaiden: Your contribution to this thread is as valuable as can be. Every word has been taken to heart. I will get back to you.


                  Brother Former Professor Elmer: We had an exam on multivariates today. I placed "Jesus" as the answer to each question. I will get back to you.


                  Brother Jim Lombardo: Sometimes you make me shake my head.


                  Sister Mitza: You ALWAYS make me shake my head.


                  Love to all,
                  BrotherLarry
                  Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                  “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                  Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                  Amen and Amen

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Math is Hard

                    I hate math

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Math is Hard

                      math is almost as hard as my ***lewd reference to a permanently limp part of this retard's anatomy removed by moderator***!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Math is Hard

                        Originally posted by sattanIsThicc View Post
                        math is almost as hard as my dick! ...
                        Scattering Amplitudes and the Positive Grassmannian

                        Nima Arkani-Hamed, Jacob L. Bourjaily, Freddy Cachazo, Alexander B. Goncharov, Alexander Postnikov, Jaroslav Trnka
                        (Submitted on 21 Dec 2012 (v1), last revised 17 Mar 2014 (this version, v2))
                        We establish a direct connection between scattering amplitudes in planar four-dimensional theories and a remarkable mathematical structure known as the positive Grassmannian. The central physical idea is to focus on on-shell diagrams as objects of fundamental importance to scattering amplitudes. We show that the all-loop integrand in N=4 SYM is naturally represented in this way. On-shell diagrams in this theory are intimately tied to a variety of mathematical objects, ranging from a new graphical representation of permutations to a beautiful stratification of the Grassmannian G(k,n) which generalizes the notion of a simplex in projective space. All physically important operations involving on-shell diagrams map to canonical operations on permutations; in particular, BCFW deformations correspond to adjacent transpositions. Each cell of the positive Grassmannian is naturally endowed with positive coordinates and an invariant measure which determines the on-shell function associated with the diagram. This understanding allows us to classify and compute all on-shell diagrams, and give a geometric understanding for all the non-trivial relations among them. Yangian invariance of scattering amplitudes is transparently represented by diffeomorphisms of G(k,n) which preserve the positive structure. Scattering amplitudes in (1+1)-dimensional integrable systems and the ABJM theory in (2+1) dimensions can both be understood as special cases of these ideas. On-shell diagrams in theories with less (or no) supersymmetry are associated with exactly the same structures in the Grassmannian, but with a measure deformed by a factor encoding ultraviolet singularities. The Grassmannian representation of on-shell processes also gives a new understanding of the all-loop integrand for scattering amplitudes, presenting all integrands in a novel dLog form which directly reflects the underlying positive structure.
                        Did you just come?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Math is Hard

                          Originally posted by sattanIsThicc View Post
                          math is almost as hard as my ***lewd reference to a permanently limp part of this retard's anatomy removed by moderator***!
                          Freind, While I feel for your flaccidity, having a firm grasp on the subject matter will eventually result in the answer of Truth(r) you seek. All things are contained in the Holy KJV Bible. Follow God and the answers are simple enough that any person can understand. Praise!
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Math is Hard

                            Brother Larry, I know that in your professional life you don't have much need of math - as long as you can count up to 40 teeth, sometimes fewer in the case of mares, you're good to go. But others may be reassured to know that there are many, many other professions that require very little in the way of math skills. Let us look at the case of journalists and political pollsters.

                            Yesterday an article appeared in the British press concerning a poll about the number of people who would vote differently, for a third, entirely imaginary (but still communist) party, at some future election. My eldest boy Luke (14) set his sister Hannah (10 yesterday - how quickly they grow up!) the task of showing her younger brothers the flaws in the math.

                            Let us unpick the figures: fortunately, Hannah showed me her workings.

                            Headline: Almost half of voters say they would vote for new party in election.

                            First paragraph: About two in five voters would be highly likely to vote for a new party ...

                            So, two in five sounds like almost a half because a half of five is two-and-a-half, which is only a half more than two. But two in five is the same as four in ten (she made the little ones work that out) which is the same as four million in ten million, which is a whole MILLION less than half!

                            Then they went on to how many people could vote in Britain (if they weren't mostly too fat or too drunk to get to the polling station) and that's more than 40 million. So two in five (a difference of half a person), when you do the sums (you notice again that I'm not calling it math!) is the same as 16 million out of 40 million. This is 4 MILLION less than half. It is NOWHERE NEAR HALF!!!!

                            I really don't see how, when Nathanael (5) can work this out and Ezekiel & Daniel (3) can understand it when it's explained to them, anyone can say that (a) sums are hard or (b) being a journalist/political pollster/crook requires education beyond the age of 5.

                            Psalm 8:2 may well be The Way Forward against Fake News.
                            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Math is Hard

                              Originally posted by sattanIsThicc View Post
                              math is almost as hard as my dick!
                              If you come back, I'll help you integrate.

                              Comment

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